


See Through

by massuneko



Category: VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Band, Angst, Complicated Relationships, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Journalist Taekwoon, M/M, Minor Cha Hakyeon | N/Lee Hongbin, Minor Lee Hongbin/Jung Taekwoon | Leo, Model/Actor Ravi, Multi, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Step-Brothers, Step-Sibling Incest, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 11:51:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 61,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19062106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/massuneko/pseuds/massuneko
Summary: After six years of separation with no proper communication at all, Wonshik showed up in front of Taekwoon again, bringing along their complicated situation and relationship. With the long years that made them practically strangers again, they would have to decide whether to stitch everything back together or throw it all away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello~ This will be a new series for all of you. I've got some outlines planned, but as always, things can get out of my hands and this can be a slow and long series. ANYWAY warnings are in the tag; I'll add more when it's needed. If you feel uncomfortable reading what I've written, the 'back' button is there for you to use. Also, this is crossposted to AFF, so feel free to read wherever you want.

There was a strange feeling of longing and attraction the moment Taekwoon laid his eyes on the model he was going to interview. He wasn’t even supposed to do that interview, not supposed to even go to that appointment at all since he wasn’t the one tasked to write the article for this certain rising star. But the coworker who was assigned to it was too ill to even get up from her bed and their chief editor was too greedy to reschedule the meeting or even cancel the whole interview, and Taekwoon was just too unlucky to have a free schedule to cover her presence.

But then again, he was probably lucky instead.

“Hello, my name is Jung Taekwoon from _Gesture_ magazine,” greeted Taekwoon as he bowed and presented his business card. The silver-haired man in front of him smiled and accepted it, then reached into his pocket for his own.

“Nice to meet you, Jung Taekwoon- _ssi_. I’m Ravi from _GROOVL1N_ ,” greeted the man back as he presented his business card. Taekwoon took it, staring at the name _‘Kim Wonshik’_ printed beside his stage name before storing the card away.

“I thought my manager said that the one I’ll meet from _Gesture_ is Choi Jisoo- _ssi_ , though?” asked Wonshik as he took the seat across Taekwoon.

“Ah, yes, actually Jisoo- _ssi_ can’t make it due to her physical condition, so Chief Editor Park- _nim_ send me in her stead,” replied Taekwoon.

“Is that so? Then probably the Lady Luck is giving me her blessing right now,” commented Wonshik with a playful smile. Taekwoon gave him his business smile in return to hide the fact that he was flustered at the comment, that he thought the same as well, but his reddened ears betrayed him. Still, either Wonshik noticed it or not, he seemed to dismiss it and played it cool, just the way Taekwoon wanted.

They ordered coffee and some snacks as Taekwoon asked Wonshik the questions that had been prepared beforehand by Jisoo. It was pretty much a set of generic questions—about the origin of his stage name, what drove him to start modelling, how he felt when the job that he started just to get some pocket money landed him on a contract with a big name in the industry, what kind of image he’s trying to build as celebrity, and how his modelling career had grown into acting as well.

“There are rumors that you’re dating your co-star Sohee- _ssi_ in your latest TV drama, _‘Layered’_. Do you have any words about it?” asked Taekwoon. Truth to be told, he knew how Wonshik was going to answer, how he wouldn’t deny nor admit the rumor, but in the end it’d be revealed to be just a rumor when he started being paired with a new person. Still, he wanted to see what kind of face Wonshik would show when it was Taekwoon who asked him about it.

The reaction he got was a sliver of boredom and tiredness, before it was quickly and professionally covered with a gentle smile.

“Sohee- _ssi_ and I are indeed close, just like our characters in the drama. I can only tell you that much,” replied Wonshik calmly. It was just like what Taekwoon had expected, a textbook answer he always gave to that kind of question, but he wondered if it’s actually any different this time around.

“Do you… even date at all, Ravi- _ssi_?” asked Taekwoon. The question wasn’t in his list, but he just couldn’t help it escaping his lips. Wonshik’s eyes widened at the sudden question, something he didn’t expect to be thrown at him after he made such vague answer before. The gentle fall of his sight told Taekwoon that whatever he said next could be the real truth.

“No. I don’t,” he answered quietly.

The answer sent a sting to Taekwoon’s heart, and he’s glad that Wonshik didn’t raise his gaze until Taekwoon composed himself.

“Sorry, let me revise my answer. I don’t exactly date, but I have a lot of lovers. Well, I consider all my fans as my lovers after all,” said Wonshik again, this time with his signature playful smile. It became obvious that the answer was also a lie, like all his vague answers before.

“Mm-hmm, I’ll pretend that I don’t hear your previous answer and use this one instead,” teased Taekwoon.

They continued their talk, on textbook question and textbook answers, until the sky turned dark and the clock showed that it’s time to get some dinner.

“Oh, look at the time. I think I’ve bothered you long enough, Ravi- _ssi_. Thank you for the time and opportunity to talk with you,” said Taekwoon with a business smile. He was about to tidy his stuffs and went when he felt Wonshik’s fingers around his wrist.

“Would you like to have a dinner at my place? I don’t have any schedules left today and tomorrow, so you can get a deeper interview if you want,” offered Wonshik.

Taekwoon could already hear Chief Editor Park’s enthusiastic voice in his head, screaming and yelling for him to snatch the golden opportunity without thinking any further. After all, he was sent with a message to get a delicious scoop on the Rising Star Ravi’s private life. A deeper interview would definitely give him something to write about outside the generic things other magazines had covered before.

But his gut feeling said that it’s too dangerous to proceed, to accept the seemingly harmless invitation. It was Kim Wonshik after all.

Yet still, when Taekwoon raised his gaze from the hand resting on his own to the pair of eyes that stared deeply into his soul, he found himself surrendering to the flow.

With a soft _‘yes’_ and a satisfied smile, they left the coffee shop together.

* * *

Their lips met as soon as the door was closed. Taekwoon tried to dominate at first, but Wonshik had better build and was stronger than him, so in the end he let himself being pinned to the nearest wall. The lips that was once familiar to him had become foreign, but the way they made his knees went weak and his head spun still hadn’t changed at all.

Wonshik was cupping his face gently when they parted, out of breath but still maintaining their close distance. Silence fell between them, safe for their soft pants. It was Taekwoon who broke that silence, glancing up from Wonshik’s swollen lips to his droopy eyes.

“Six years without any word from you, and this is how you greet your _hyung_?” asked Taekwoon, tone biting and harsh.

“Sorry. I have no excuse,” replied Wonshik softly. His words sounded unapologetic, but his eyes reflected the deep guilt he felt inside. That sight alone was almost enough to make Taekwoon forgave him so easily as always.

 _Almost_.

“Good. Because if you make up some lame excuses, I’ll really punch your guts out,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik winced a bit, but he simply grinned afterwards and leaned forward to capture Taekwoon’s lips again… only to be greeted with his fingertips.

“You promised me food,” said Taekwoon sternly. Wonshik chuckled against those long fingers; the sound and vibration sent sparks down to Taekwoon’s gut and below. Still, he willed himself to calm down, to not fall into any of Wonshik’s trick anymore.

“I promised you dinner, not food,” replied Wonshik with a coy smile. Taekwoon snorted.

“What kind of dinner that doesn’t involve food?” asked Taekwoon bitingly.

His answer came in the form of Wonshik parting his lips and stuck his tongue out, licking Taekwoon’s forefinger from base to tip with a smoldering gaze. Taekwoon felt that air was more stuffy and so did his pants. He couldn’t deny the desire that had been pooling in his guts ever since they were still talking in that cafe.

That, combined with the fact that they hadn’t seen each other for _six goddamn years_ , made Taekwoon pulled his hand away and grabbed Wonshik’s collar to slam their lips together again.

How they managed to get onto Wonshik’s bed, it was still a wonder. The feeling of each other’s body was both nostalgic and foreign, a confusing mix between remembrance and exploration, yet it still brought them the high and bliss they were looking for after being separated for so long.

Only after they calmed down and lying side by side while staring up at the ceiling did they start to catch up to each other like normal people—

“How’s mother?” asked Wonshik casually, almost too casually.

—Like how a normal _family_ would.

“Mom is doing fine. Her restaurant business is thriving very well,” replied Taekwoon.

“It’s good then,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon pouted and hit Wonshik’s chest hard, enough to make him yelp and rolled away in pain.

“Six years, six _damn_ years without a word to us, to _me_ , and the first thing you ask is how _my mom_ is doing? When I’m right here with you?” shouted Taekwoon as he sat up, grabbing the pillow to be used as weapon later.

“In case you forgot, she was _my_ mother too, even just for a few years. Any good son will ask about what their mother is doing,” replied Wonshik, which resulted in Taekwoon hitting him with the pillow.

“Any good son would never fuck their own brother!” yelled Taekwoon again, raising his hand for yet another attack. But this time, Wonshik was fast enough to dodge. He quickly grabbed Taekwoon’s wrist and pinned him down, hovering on top of him with their faces being so close together.

“But are we still brothers? After my father’s death? After I moved to my mother’s new family?” asked Wonshik, carefully, seriously. “Do you want us to be just normal brothers, _stepbrothers_ , like before everything went down and we crossed the line… _Hyung_?”

Taekwoon hated that question. He hated it not because he didn’t know the answer, but because he knew very well what his answer was. And he hated it more because he knew that Wonshik could read him well enough to know the answer, and wordlessly provided him with his own answer.

The bittersweet taste of those plump lips that carried his answer was still the same, even after six years had passed.

“So, you really… don’t date at all?” asked Taekwoon after they parted again.

“If whatever it is we have doesn’t count… then yes. I don’t date at all,” said Wonshik firmly. Taekwoon snorted at that.

“And why should I believe in the words of a man who has always been gossiped to be dating his co-stars and co-staffs?” teased Taekwoon.

“Because I am telling you the truth, unlike those gossip hungry hyenas,” said Wonshik as he plopped back to the bed, lying sideways so he could still look at Taekwoon as he spoke. “Before you, I’ve dated several times. After I moved out, I’ve tried dating but no luck. Women, men, no one fascinates me like you do. No one pulls my heartstrings like you do.”

“Sweet-talker,” spouted Taekwoon. “But you’re quite an omnivore, huh? Eating whatever is offered to you. What a shameless man.”

“Seriously, _Hyung_ , have you been listening? I’ve said I don’t date anyone. Just trying to. So in the end I’m a terribly picky eater who only wants you,” said Wonshik teasingly. Taekwoon only pouted and hit him again, but lightly this time.

“I’m one of those hungry hyenas you hate, though. Sure you think it’s okay to give me such statement? Shouldn’t you be concerned that I’ll use it to drag you down?” nagged Taekwoon as he sat up again, looking around for his scattered clothes. He found his boxer brief near the bed’s foot, so he slid out to take it and put it back on.

“You can write anything you want about me. I trust you that much,” replied Wonshik calmly as he rolled away from the bed as well, walking towards his dresser to get a fresh pair of brief instead of picking the one lying on the floor.

Taekwoon snorted at that and shook his head as he pulled on his shirt. While buttoning it up, he noticed that a button had fallen off and he clicked his tongue in irritation. The gesture didn’t go unnoticed by Wonshik.

“You can take one of my shirts instead of wearing that. Anyway, are you in rush? Don’t you want to have some dinner before you leave?” asked Wonshik. Taekwoon was scowling and pouting deeply at him.

“Dinner, as in food?” asked Taekwoon in return. Wonshik nodded, face looking like a picture of innocence despite his body saying otherwise.

“I have some high quality meat, already marinated, and ready to be cooked anytime,” replied Wonshik.

Taekwoon was already grabbing a pillow from Wonshik’s bed as he yelled, “You little shit—!”

* * *

“What’s with this interview?” asked _GROOVL1N_ CEO Kang- _nim_. He threw a magazine to the meeting table, hard enough for it to slide towards Wonshik who sat across him. Wonshik glanced down to the article although he already knew what’s written on it.

> _Versatile Artist RAVI: Flexible Artistry, Flexible Sexuality_

“Tell me, Ravi. What kind of bullshit you told them until they have the audacity to write that you’re openly bisexual?” asked Kang- _nim_ with dangerously high tone. He wasn’t really asking; the big pull quote had pretty much summarized what Wonshik had said to Taekwoon on that day. Although, of course, the older man had the liberty to put two of his statements at different time in one full quote, with a little touch of the words Wonshik didn’t even speak out.

> _“All my fans—men and women—are my lovers. I don’t discriminate when it comes to gender.”_

Wonshik scoffed internally. _That fucking shithead; he really wrote whatever he wants_ , he thought.

“Well… What’s so bad about it? You’ve always told me to find a way to expand my charm, so that I can pull in some male fans as well. This should do it, I guess. There should be plenty enough gay and bi men outside that fantasize about fucking with me, and now they get the justification to openly desire me because I’m available for everyone,” said Wonshik nonchalantly.

“Think about the conservative ones!” scolded Kang- _nim_. Wonshik rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone, typing something, then handed it to his boss.

“It’s the recent comments on the news around me. Sure, I gain some haters, but what about it? The ones who support me outnumbered them; look by yourself,” debated Wonshik. Kang- _nim_ clicked his tongue in dislike, then returned Wonshik’s phone with a deep scowl on his face.

“I’ll let this pass this time. But if you’re making more troubles like this, you’re fired,” warned Kang- _nim_. Wonshik nodded in reply, already knowing that his boss was all barks but no bites ever since the news of his so-called ‘scandal’ with his co-model first broke out. As long as it brought him money, the old man wouldn’t care less about anything, Wonshik learned.

After some more nagging, Wonshik and his manager Daetuk were finally released. Daetuk glanced at him in worry, although Wonshik looked oddly calm about everything.

“Is it true? The article, I mean,” asked Daetuk. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head.

“Of course not. What do you expect from a gossip magazine, _Hyung_? Even _Dispatch_ can do better than that,” replied Wonshik. Daetuk only nodded at that, although he seemed somewhat more relieved. From the amount of time they spent together, Wonshik could understand if this straight _hyung_ would feel uncomfortable knowing that he was also attracted to men. Though, his manager wasn’t his type at all.

He really was a terribly picky eater who only wanted Taekwoon, no matter how everyone tried to frame him as.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t really a good day to go to work, Taekwoon decided.

Last night, he had just gone through a rough breakup. Well, to be completely honest, it was going pretty smooth until the other person started bawling his eyes out. That’s why for most of the time, Taekwoon preferred to have an older and more mature men as his fuck buddies. The younger ones tended to think of their relationship as something more, desperately trying to tie some strings between them although Taekwoon had stated that their relationship was strictly for sex since the very beginning.

Thinking about it again, the very reason why he decided to stop seeing this particular person was exactly because of that—the other had grown far too attached to remember that Taekwoon only wanted his body and nothing more. Also some money, perhaps, but never their heart or some sappy bullshits like those. The older men he went with understood that very clearly, sometimes a bit too clearly, since they’re the ones who got bored first and ended their agreement without even looking back.

He was thankful that at least last night didn’t went too wild. Sure, he had to deal with all the crying, all the ‘why’ the other asked, but at least he could channel out his cold and distant self to end it firmly. That was what he’s good at; acting cold and distant.

It didn’t mean that he didn’t feel anything, though. After feeling super annoyed like that, he wanted to relief some of his stress. So he drank, probably too much, since he ended up banging on Wonshik’s fancy apartment door at 2 in the morning.

If Wonshik had been asleep prior to the ruckus Taekwoon made, it wasn’t that apparent when he opened the door. He still looked handsome, dashingly so, even without any makeup on and silver strands hanging down over his droopy eyes.

He let Taekwoon in, letting him to drop himself to the queen-size bed at the end of the room, all without annoying questions that would just rile him up even more. No, his _hyung_ -flavored _dongsaeng_ just wordlessly helped him with his shoes and jacket, giving him some water and aspirin to be drank.

In his alcohol-induced brain, Taekwoon remembered whining for Wonshik to join him in bed. But Wonshik only knocked his forehead and told him to sleep, before taking one pillow and plopped down to the nearby couch.

When Taekwoon woke up in the morning with severe headache and high confusion because he wasn’t in his own apartment, Wonshik was already gone. All Taekwoon found was a bottle of hangover reliever drink and two sets of numbers—one being Wonshik’s new phone number and the other being his unit’s passcode.

It was safe to say that not only Taekwoon took both stuffs offered to him, he also helped himself with some breakfast from Wonshik’s huge fridge and full cabinets. He also fully utilized Wonshik’s fancy shower and took some of his expensive body wash. He even had the audacity to rummage through Wonshik’s wardrobe and stole— _borrowed_ some of his branded clothes.

After making sure that his own dirty clothes were tightly folded and stuffed into his bag, Taekwoon went to work as if nothing had happened. Everything seemed to be normal enough.

But of course, when he arrived at the office completely smelling like someone else from a higher class and wearing clothes that apparently costed much more than his monthly salary, the teasing about how he’s _definitely_ going out for a date after work started.

One of the minus points of working in a gossip magazine was, of course, the fact that everyone in the office just loved to gossip around.

“So, who’s the lucky girl? Must be very pretty if you’re willing to dig that deep into your savings,” asked one of his coworkers. Taekwoon rolled his eyes for the nth time that day. He hated being asked, hated having to explain things that wouldn’t be listened anyway, so he just sighed and continued with the article he’s currently writing.

“Come on~ Tell me~ Do you have her picture? Anything?” he asked again, still persistent despite Taekwoon’s coldness. Taekwoon was about to scold him for being annoying, but his boss had already beaten him to it.

“Go back to your seat and make a damn great article instead, Hoon. Taekwoon, drop whatever you’re doing and come to the meeting room now,” said Chief Editor Park- _nim_ in her usual stern voice. Hoon quickly scrambled back to his cubicle while Taekwoon saved his current work and quickly followed her to the said meeting room.

“Do you really have a date or not today?” she asked immediately after the door was closed behind Taekwoon.

“No, Chief Editor,” replied Taekwoon shortly.

“Good. While you’re all dressed up and pretty like that, go to this photo studio and do the interview with this photographer Hongbin. Junha can’t make it today because he still have to edit his article, but he has made the question list so you can just use it,” she ordered as she handed out a piece of paper that seemed to be an address.

“But why me? Yebin is free, and I still have an article to write,” debated Taekwoon.

“I’ve given a task to Yebin, and your article has lower priority compared to this interview. Also, the last time I sent you to interview one of the most cryptic and difficult people ever, you managed to scoop out a piping hot information that no one has managed to get. I know you’ll manage to do it again this time. Now take this address, pack up the stuffs you need, then go,” she replied firmly. Taekwoon opened his mouth to protest, but she only raised her eyebrows and that’s all it needed for him to nodded defeatedly and excused himself from the meeting room.

Cursing his bad luck, Taekwoon returned to his cubicle to get his stuffs and quickly left because the appointment time written on that piece of paper told him to hurry up or he’d leave bad impression about his company. He doubted that the magazine still had any good name left, though, but he’s not going to risk it anyway.

As he stared out from the back seat of the taxi he took, he started to blame it on Wonshik. This hassle wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t because of Wonshik waltzing back into his life. He wouldn’t have to do the damn interview, wouldn’t have to be so irritated by his endless teasing to the point he wrote that kind of article, wouldn’t give the impression that he’s a damn fine scoop digger, and wouldn’t have to go out to do yet another interview that he hated so much.

Everything was Wonshik’s fault, just as always.

* * *

The studio name was quite unique, using a Japanese name although the owner is a full Korean and had never lived in Japan. But of course, the rumor that he’s actually dating a Japanese was going around, along with the assumption that he named his studio that way because of his Japanese lover.

Setting those thoughts aside, he walked up to the front door and rang the bell. He didn’t have to wait long for the intercom to buzz.

“Yes?” asked a voice from the other side of the door.

“Hello, good morning, I’m Jung Taekwoon from _Gesture_ magazine. I believe we have an appointment to meet today?” replied Taekwoon hurriedly.

“Oh, from _Gesture_ magazine?” asked the voice again, before the click of the door was heard and it swung open.

Taekwoon had met many kinds of people in his life, but it was probably the first time he saw a person who looked so effortlessly beautiful. His skin looked so smooth without any scars or large pores. His eyes were also big and clear, looking like he came straight out from a romance comic.

The man smiled widely, showing off the dimples that made him looked even more attractive, and Taekwoon felt how his heart rate suddenly increased.

“Hello, I’m Hongbin, the owner and photographer of this _Saboten_ studio. Please come in,” said the beautiful man. Taekwoon could only nod dumbly at that, and followed him inside the studio.

“I know this should be an interview, but I currently have a private shot to do, so I hope you don’t mind to do it while I’m working,” said Hongbin as he walked towards a door at the corner of what seemed to be the waiting room. The door probably led to the actual photo studio room, Taekwoon concluded.

“I don’t mind at all,” replied Taekwoon immediately, wanting to wrap it up quickly so he could relax afterwards.

“Okay then. I’ve already told N and Ken that there’ll be a guest for this photoshoot and thankfully they don’t mind either,” said Hongbin. Upon hearing those names, Taekwoon quickly scrunched his eyebrows.

“N as in the legendary makeup artist N, and Ken as in the model Ken from _GROOVL1N_?” asked Taekwoon. Hongbin smiled and nodded, holding the door open while waiting for Taekwoon to quickly catch up.

“Ken is my model for today and N is helping for the makeup,” explained Hongbin lightly. Taekwoon hummed in reply, taking long strides towards the waiting Hongbin as he noted down the facts in his head.

Upon entering, Taekwoon noticed that a set was already prepared at one side of the room, while there were two people sitting face to face at the other side of the room. Taekwoon could quickly recognized Ken, who was facing the door with his eyes closed as the other person applied some eyeshadow on his eyes. The model’s plump lips, big nose, and pointy ears were his unique characteristics that made him recognizable with only one glance.

The other person, though, was facing away from the door so Taekwoon couldn’t see his face. But the moment Hongbin called both of them and he turned around at the call, Taekwoon’s eyes were as big as dining plate.

“Cha Hakyeon?” exclaimed Taekwoon. The tan-skinned man stared back at him with equally wide eyes and slacking jaw.

“Taekwoonie? Taekwoonie from Journalistic Major, is that really you?” he asked back. Taekwoon nodded in reply, and a wide smile bloomed on Hakyeon’s face.

“Oh dear, how many years has it been? And you’ve become a journalist too! This is amazing!” exclaimed Hakyeon as he quickly put down whatever he was holding and rushed towards Taekwoon to gave him a big hug. Taekwoon wasn’t exactly a big fan of sudden hugs like that, but to maintain the good mood and the professionality, he held back from doing anything hostile towards Hakyeon.

“Well, just a journalist for beauty and fashion magazine, nothing much. But you! Who would have thought that the legendary makeup artist N is the chatty Cha Hakyeon?” replied Taekwoon, to which Hakyeon responded with a bashful laugh.

“You know each other?” asked Hongbin.

“Yes! We went to the same University together, at the same Major, and mostly same classes. We’re best buddies,” replied Hakyeon enthusiastically.

“Whoa, N- _hyung_ ’s university friend? How exciting!” exclaimed Ken, who stood up from his seat and quickly approached them. “I’m cutie model from _GROOVL1N_ , Ken! Nice to meet you!” he said with overly cute tone. Taekwoon nodded courteously at him.

“I’m Jung Taekwoon, from _Gesture_ magazine,” said Taekwoon as he searched around for his business card. But he was distracted when Ken made a loud surprised sound.

“Oh my, that Jung Taekwoon from _Gesture_ magazine, who wrote the article about our Ravi being openly bisexual?” asked Ken, surprise still evident on his face. Taekwoon blinked rapidly, his slow brain trying to make an excuse all while cursing deeply at Wonshik again. Just how many troubles he’s planning to bring into Taekwoon’s life?

“You know? I already have a hunch that Ravi couldn’t be straight. I mean, come on, he’s practically eye-fucking everyone that he’s working with, men or women! He made a ruckus in our office when that article was released. Too bad he’s one of the models that bring lots of money to our agency, or the CEO- _nim_ will definitely fire him!” babbled Ken right away. “But then again, maybe he’s fucking our CEO- _nim_ too, who knows!”

Taekwoon was staring at Ken with wide eyes, while Hakyeon quickly gave him a neck chop and told him to watch his language.

He hadn’t thought about it. In their country, in Wonshik’s industry, being openly not-straight is something dangerous. Wonshik could’ve been fired because of the article Taekwoon wrote out of spite. But it seemed that Wonshik was completely unaffected by that. He was still appearing in the ads like usual, still having his interviews published often, and still dutifully worked as if the article never existed.

 _Maybe he’s fucking our CEO-_ nim _too, who knows!_

“Taekwoon- _ssi_? Are you listening? We’re starting the shoot now,” said Hongbin as he waved his hand in front of Taekwoon’s face. Taekwoon was startled and flinched a bit, but then he quickly slipped into his professional smile and nodded.

“Ah, yeah, please start,” said Taekwoon. Hongbin flashed him a smile before stepping into the set along with Ken, while Hakyeon stayed at the side to watch.

Taekwoon prepared his voice recorder as he observed what Ken and Hongbin were doing. The set was pretty simple—white wall covered with thin white fabric, draped a little messily to give off sensual yet innocent feel. Fluffy white rug was covering the floor, decorated with equally fluffy pillows in white and baby pink color. Some fake pink flower petals were also scattered around the rug, and there were some fake pink flowers prepared at the side as well.

Upon noticing the hints of pinks around the set, Taekwoon realized that there were some dried pink flowers decorating one side of Ken’s face; full blooms lining up along his jawline and down to the side of his neck. The shirt he wore was white and sheer, and it was very loose. For a second, Taekwoon thought that he wasn’t wearing any pants since he could see Ken’s pale yet muscular legs stretching out for miles, but then he realized that he wore a pair of very short one, short enough to be mostly covered by his oversized shirt.

Hongbin directed him to lie on the rug and positioned himself in the way that would make him felt comfortable before standing up and adjusting the hanging soft boxes. The way Ken made himself comfortable among the pillows made him looked really cute and innocent, although his sultry gaze and the fingertip resting on his plump lips said otherwise.

“Hongbin tends to be very focused on his shot to actually answer any question, but I can help answering them if you want,” informed Hakyeon, who smiled widely at him.

“Won’t it be an interview with you instead of with Hongbin- _ssi_ then?” teased Taekwoon, and Hakyeon laughed at that.

“Well you can make it a couple interview then, maybe? I mean, although he said he’s the owner of this studio, he’s actually co-own it with me. Plus, I’ve been living together with him for the past 3 years. I know him well enough to answer the general questions for him,” replied Hakyeon nonchalantly.

“Then, is it your idea to name it _Saboten_? You love Japanese culture after all,” asked Taekwoon. Hakyeon chuckled and nodded at that.

“Well, we met in Japan after all—Hongbin still traveling around to find his photography style, and I was still in the middle of my apprenticeship to get my license. I worked part-time at a stylish plant shop, and I guess he fell in love at the first sight at the scene where I was surrounded with greenery and holding a pot of cactus. His first words to me were ‘would you want to be my model?’, can you believe that?” explained Hakyeon with a chuckle.

“So you two named it ‘cactus’ because you were holding a pot of cactus…?” asked Taekwoon slowly.

“That’s one reason, I think. The other is because of the meaning of cactus plant itself,” replied Hakyeon with a hint of amusement. Taekwoon was about to ask, but the flash of light and the loud beeping sound made him moving his focus to the model and photographer in front of him.

Ken looked comfortable enough to pose both cutely and sexily in front of the camera. One curious glance to the opened laptop let Taekwoon saw how Hongbin seemed to be focusing on taking Ken’s side profile and lips, and the little innocent yet sensual gesture Ken made.

“What is this shoot for? Personal project, or maybe there’s an upcoming exhibition or photobook?” asked Taekwoon.

“It’s Jaehwanie—I mean, Ken’s request. Hongbin is in the mood to try new model and theme too, plus he’s quite intrigued with Ken’s personality, so he gave it a go,” replied Hakyeon. Taekwoon scrunched his eyebrows hearing that answer.

“Who is his usual model then, and what theme he usually goes with?” asked Taekwoon. He’s not quite familiar with Hongbin’s personal works, only with his commercial ones. They’re all very well-taken and drew out every drop of sensuality of their model.

Upon hearing that question, Hakyeon smiled widely and gestured him to stay as he walked out from the room. Taekwoon was confused with the gesture, but he returned his focus towards Hongbin and Ken once again.

The buttons on Ken’s shirt were all off already, and he let the piece of clothing hanging off from his shoulders, showing his defined collarbones and chest. His poses were leaning towards teasingly seductive then, all the previous purity and innocence being pushed into the background. Not long after, Hakyeon returned with what seemed to be a photobook in hand.

“We happen to have a few extra copies left. Here, I’ll give you one as gift. If you look through it, you’ll understand more about Hongbin—about _us_ ,” said Hakyeon with a mischievous smile. Taekwoon took it and observed the cover.

It was a black-and-white photo of someone’s neck, decorated with a fiery red collar… and several dark spots that could only be described as love bites.


	3. Chapter 3

The blinking text cursor felt like mocking him as the time passed. He hadn’t managed to write a damn thing, and he was reconsidering Hakyeon’s offer to have another meeting for interview.

Sighing, Taekwoon leaned back to his chair and turned his head to the bed. The photobook Hakyeon gave him was opened, and it brought him back to the shocking statement Hakyeon made the day before.

_“Hongbin and I are dating, and we’re very open for a third person to join us.”_

That definitely sounded like an invitation, but could also hinting that currently they’re having Ken as the third person in their open relationship. It felt somewhat weird for him, to be dating a person, but also having one non-permanent lover without making it an affair.

While Taekwoon used to be that third person in someone else’s relationship, usually he was only in contact with one of the two. If he were ever to be found out by the other, it would be a disaster. He was what people called as relationship wrecker after all.

“Who am I to judge other people’s relationship, huh?” murmured Taekwoon humorlessly.

Feeling how his mind was too jumbled up to think, he stood up from his seat as he took his wallet and phone from his desk. He felt too lazy to change out from his pyjama so he simply took a long coat and left.

He had nowhere to go in mind, just wanting to be anywhere but his own apartment. He wanted to get some coffee, but he’s not really in mood to sit down at the place where many people came and went, probably would be judging how he was only wearing pyjama and long coat. Suddenly, he felt stupid for not at least changing into jeans before stepping out.

In the end, Taekwoon still walked to his favorite coffee shop anyway. Caffeine at night was probably bad, but he needed it in his system to lessen his headache. As he waited at the line, he idly opened his phone, and stared at one recently added contacts.

_GROOVL1N RAVI_

Taekwoon didn’t know why, but he ended up saving Wonshik’s number the way he saved other people’s numbers in his phone. He could just save it as his real name, just like how he saved his three sisters’ numbers, but he just didn’t do it.

_“But are we still brothers?”_

Wonshik’s question was repeating again and again in his head. Were they still brothers, after all they had done? He wanted to say that Wonshik started it, that the younger was the first one who crossed that fine line between them, but then it would be a lie. It was Taekwoon who first kissed him, not on the cheeks or forehead like his mother did, but on the lips like a lover would. He couldn’t deny that he had wanted to do it for a very long time already, that he had imagined doing it ever since Wonshik allowed him to slip into his bed and into his embrace on that stormy night. And he was no less delighted when Wonshik kissed him back, with his hands resting firmly on Taekwoon’s nape.

The taste of the forbidden fruit was so sweet he could understand why the first humans fell for it.

“Good evening, may I help you?” greeted the cashier with a wide smile, startling Taekwoon a bit. He quickly pocketed his phone and made his order, paid, and waited at the pickup station. He had just taken the hot cup of coffee when his phone rang, and he mindlessly picked both up.

“Hello?”

“Why are you calling at this hour, _Hyung_? Are you in trouble?” asked a familiar deep voice from the other end of the phone. Taekwoon frowned and checked the caller’s ID. It was Wonshik. He probably called him by accident when he pocketed his phone earlier.

“Nothing. It was pressed by mistake, I think. I had it in my pocket,” replied Taekwoon.

“Aw. And I thought you’re going to say that you miss me and want to see me so badly,” teased Wonshik. Taekwoon snorted loudly at it.

“We met last week. I’m not that lonely to want to meet you again anytime soon,” said Taekwoon.

“No, not last week. Two nights ago. You were drunk and disturbing my neighbors. And you probably think that I don’t notice it, but I know you stole my clothes. You’re so mean, _Hyung_ … Those are my favorites too,” corrected Wonshik. He was half-whining when he talked about the clothes, and Taekwoon rolled his eyes at that.

“Just buy it again. You have the money, don’t you? I don’t have fancy clothes like those, so just give them to me,” replied Taekwoon as he walked out from the coffee shop.

“I can give it to you, but it’s not free,” teased Wonshik.

“Stingy. Well then, I’ll return them to you tomorrow. What time are you home?” asked Taekwoon.

“I’m currently in Jeju for a video clip shooting until Tuesday night, so… I guess you can drop by on Wednesday? I have free schedule on that day,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon sighed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m working on Wednesday. I guess I’ll just send it by mail,” said Taekwoon nonchalantly. Wonshik laughed at that, and Taekwoon would be lying if he said that he didn’t miss that laughter.

Suddenly he wanted Wonshik to be there with him, cuddling with him and helped him to clear his mind.

“Let’s just meet at the cafe near your office after you’re done with your work. I’ll wait for you,” offered Wonshik.

“No. I’ll mail it to your address. Now excuse me because I need my beauty sleep,” replied Taekwoon quickly before he pressed the end call button.

Feeling somewhat lonelier and moodier than before, Taekwoon quickened his steps towards his apartment. He had an article to write, and an annoyance to be handled.

* * *

“This still lacks the kick,” said Chief Editor Park- _nim_ after she reviewed the article Taekwoon wrote based on his interview with Hakyeon and Hongbin. “Didn’t Junha made a question about the gossip on Hongbin dating a Japanese person? Don’t you get anything on it?”

“He said…” Taekwoon hesitated for a moment. Sure, Hakyeon did mention blatantly about his relationship with Hongbin, but could Taekwoon use it in his article? Even when Taekwoon tried to confirm it to Hongbin, the photographer only affirmed it with unabashed expression. It sounded like the so-called secret wasn’t even a secret after all; just that people preferred the story where Hongbin had a relationship with a mysterious Japanese person rather than a local legend.

“He didn’t say anything about dating. Just that he met a person in Japan who inspired him to name his studio that way,” replied Taekwoon eventually. Park- _nim_ snapped her fingers and pointed out to him.

“That person he met in Japan. That person must be his secret lover. Go dig up more about it! Write a steamy love affair like you used to do in our confession corner!” she exclaimed.

“With all respects, Chief Editor, the stories I wrote in that corner are fictions. We’re talking about real people and real relationship here,” replied Taekwoon.

“And we’re just a lowly gossip magazine. I know what we are, and I’m not going to deny it. Now, Writer Jung Taekwoon, please do something to make our magazine sells better. Write a good scoop like you did with that Ravi guy,” she said sternly.

Faced with her signature ‘do it or die’ expression, Taekwoon could only nod and excuse himself to return to his cubicle. With a colossal sigh, Taekwoon read again the article he had written. He felt that it’s pretty much enough, since Hongbin was very secretive with his private life after all. The topic about his personal taste in photography, his aesthetics, and why he named his studio like that should be enough, right? But of course, his Chief Editor wanted more. If he could dig out about Wonshik’s sexual preferences, then he should be able to dig out Hongbin’s, that’s what she probably thought.

Taekwoon was considering again about just went ahead and included how Hongbin enjoyed threesome and was openly gay. Park- _nim_ would be ecstatic about it.

Sighing again, Taekwoon thought that he could use some coffee to clear his mind. He packed up his laptop and left a note about him going to the nearby cafe for some change of atmosphere.

* * *

Neither coffee nor the fresh plants surrounding him helped in the revising of his article. He had been writing and rewriting the same paragraph for an hour and he was starting to get frustrated. The idea of not giving a single fuck and just included about the threesome had started to sound really tempting.

“Taekwoon- _ssi_?” called a voice. Taekwoon turned his gaze from his laptop screen and was met with the otherworldly beauty from the other day.

It was the Photographer Hongbin, in flesh, holding a cup of hot beverage.

“Hongbin- _ssi_ , hello. What a coincidence,” greeted Taekwoon as he quickly stood up and gave a slight bow. Hongbin gave him a wide, bright smile before asking permission to join his table. Taekwoon saw nothing wrong with it so he just allowed it. He thought that he could probably do some more interview while he’s at it.

“Working outside the office?” asked Hongbin.

“Yes… It’s pretty stuffy in there, and I’m stuck with my article,” replied Taekwoon. Hongbin nodded in understanding at that.

“That’s why I prefer having outdoor photoshoots. But since my personal work is mostly semi-nude and nude, it’s pretty difficult to do,” said Hongbin with a playful smile. Taekwoon really didn’t know what to feel about him admitting his style in public space like that, but it seemed that no one else was listening.

“Anyway, N and I are planning a private photoshoot this Wednesday, at his house. He has new collection of plants and I want to photograph him with those. Do you want to come along?” offered Hongbin.

The question felt like an invitation to the forbidden garden. Why would Hongbin invited him to his private photoshoot with N? Unless, of course, he was thinking about something else.

As if reading his mind, Hongbin continued, “You look really good surrounded by plants like now. I’m wondering whether you’ll let me take your photographs.”

Taekwoon’s mind went straight to the photobook Hakyeon gave him—the long and slim neck littered with love bites, the sultry gaze of _hwarang_ -styled eyes, the sheer red shirt, the sensual stare from behind the lace blindfold, the curve of his small waist that showed off his perfectly plump butts—

The fingertip grazing just under his eyes stopped Taekwoon’s train of thoughts and brought him back to the cafe, where Hongbin was reaching out and touching his face with observant gaze. Startled, Taekwoon quickly slapped the hand away. When he realized what he had just done, an apology was ready at the tip of Taekwoon’s tongue, but Hongbin’s smile and chuckle stole it away.

“Sorry, I thought there was a dust under your eye, but apparently it’s a beauty mark. Looks sexy,” commented Hongbin. He might sounded teasing, but the desire reflected in his eyes said otherwise.

In that moment, Taekwoon wondered how it felt like, to be desired that deeply.

A flash of Wonshik’s burning gaze crossed in his mind, but he quickly dismissed it. There was nothing between him and Wonshik. He shouldn’t think that there was something more than just… well, what are they? He couldn’t even call them ‘brothers’ anymore.

“Um, about the photoshoot… What time is it? Can I have the address too?” asked Taekwoon.

“Let’s just exchange numbers. I’ll send you the location by chat. And about the time… just come as early as you want. Morning light is the best after all,” replied Hongbin. Taekwoon nodded and took his phone, exchanging numbers with Hongbin.

“I’m afraid I have to go now, but it’s nice to meet you again, Taekwoon- _ssi_. Please keep in touch,” said Hongbin with a smile. Taekwoon nodded in reply.

“See you this Wednesday, then,” said Taekwoon.

Hongbin stood up from his seat and took his cup, ready to go, but then he remembered something and said to Taekwoon, “Anyway, just to clarify, you can use everything N and I said during our interview the other day. And by everything, I mean _everything_ , down to the most private bits. We don’t mind. I don’t mind.”

Taekwoon stared at him with wide eyes, but Hongbin only flashed him a smile and left.

Returning his gaze to the unfinished article, Taekwoon pondered once again. What held him back from writing it down when the man himself said he didn’t mind? But the voice at the back of his mind reminded him to be careful, very careful, because this was completely out of his comfort zone.

Sinking back to his seat, Taekwoon stared at the recently added numbers in his phone, and his heart skipped a beat when he looked at Wonshik’s number.

The younger was supposed to be back on Wednesday.

Scoffing, Taekwoon shook his head and straightened up his posture. Why should he be concerned about what day Wonshik would be home? He wasn’t planning to meet him anyway. And if Wonshik wanted to wait for him that day, so be it. He didn’t promise anything. He did nothing wrong.

With that in mind, Taekwoon mailed his Chief Editor to ask for a day off on Wednesday. Scoring a second interview appointment with Hongbin made her accepting the application right away.


	4. Chapter 4

Hakyeon’s apartment was something that seemed to come out straight from those aesthetic interior _Instagram_ posts. Most of his stuff was white, with a hint of muted green and brown here and there. The whole space was open, except for the bathroom and washing room. Taekwoon also noticed that there were plants practically everywhere in that unit, and that half of the washing room seemed to be used as a greenhouse instead.

“We’ll be shooting at the washing room. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of space for us,” said Hakyeon as he led Taekwoon towards the said room. Hongbin was already there, taking some pictures to adjust his camera settings.

“Oh, you’re early. We’re just about to start,” greeted Hongbin with a smile as he saw Taekwoon walked in.

“You can sit at the bench over there to observe. Or you can look closer. It’s up to you,” said Hakyeon as he pointed at what seemed to be thick half-wall lined with wood on top. Taekwoon followed the first advice and sat there as he watched Hakyeon positioned himself among the greenery.

At the first glance, Hakyeon didn’t seem to wear any makeup. But looking at the defined brows, the sharp eyes, and the honey glow of his skin, he was definitely wearing something just enough to make his good features popped out more without looking too much. He was wearing a very fitting shorts, and a sheer white shirt with white embroidery. His hands were still clutching the front part of the shirt while Hongbin explained what he’s looking for in that shot. But once Hongbin was done explaining and picked up his camera, Hakyeon let go of his grip and let the piece of clothing fell down to the crook of his arms.

Taekwoon couldn’t explain how effortlessly graceful Hakyeon looked. With just a little glance, a little tilt of his head, and he looked like some ancient deity descending from heaven to give his blessing to human beings. He could tell everyone that he was the incarnation of the mother earth herself and anyone would believe him right away.

And Hongbin, who would stop every few shots with Ken to check the result, didn’t stop at all with Hakyeon. It was as if he already knew that even the blurriest picture he took would be able to capture Hakyeon’s beauty.

It wasn’t until Hakyeon glanced at Taekwoon and laughed did they stop. But of course, Hongbin clicked his shutter several times at laughing Hakyeon before pulling it down and turned towards Taekwoon to see what’s so funny about him.

“Taekwoonie, if you really wants to join me, come on here. No need to drool like that,” chuckled Hakyeon. Taekwoon quickly touched his chin in panic, but he found out that he wasn’t actually drooling and it made Hakyeon laughed harder.

“It’s okay if you want to look closer. Come here. Let’s review the pictures so far,” called Hongbin. Taekwoon hesitated, but in the end he stood up from his seat and joined them to see the pictures. Just as he expected, they all looked gracefully beautiful.

“Oooh, this one looks nice. Send it to me later, so I can post it on my _Instagram_ and website,” said Hakyeon as he pointed at the picture currently shown in the display screen. It was a picture of his side profile, with his head tilting up and hand raised as if he was holding an invisible fruit and was about to consume it.

“Do you want to try it, Taekwoon- _ssi_?” asked Hongbin. Taekwoon turned towards him and blinked.

“What?” he asked.

“Being my model. The light looks nice on your skin, and it’s a nice contrast with N’s too. I want to take a picture of you both,” replied Hongbin. His face was serious, and Taekwoon really didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I want to try it too. It’s going to be really nice, I can guarantee. How do you think, Taekwoonie?” asked Hakyeon. He was smiling so sweetly Taekwoon couldn’t find any heart to refuse. So he just nodded slowly, making both Hakyeon and Hongbin smiled widely.

“Just… Just one picture, okay? I’m not too comfortable having my picture taken,” said Taekwoon.

“One shot will be enough. My Hongbin is that good,” said Hakyeon with a smug smile.

Hongbin then arranged them to stand in front of each other, cheeks pressed together and fingers loosely entwined. He told them to just relax and do any facial expression they wanted, before he returned to his viewfinder and pressed the shutter.

After a click was heard, Taekwoon tried to back away, but Hakyeon had already pulled him closer. For a split second, Taekwoon thought that Hakyeon was about to kiss him, but his lips only brushed Taekwoon’s cheek a little as he whispered into his ear.

“Feel free to come here anytime; for me, for Hongbin, or for both of us. The door is always open for you, dear Taekwoonie,” he whispered.

As Hakyeon released his hold and let Taekwoon stepped back, Taekwoon could see the meaningful smile he gave.

“I’ll send you the picture after I edit it,” said Hongbin, and Taekwoon could only nod a little at that, still feeling a bit confused.

Taekwoon then excused himself, asking whether he could borrow the living room to write his article. Hakyeon told him to go ahead and use it as he would in his own house, and Taekwoon thanked him softly before exiting the washing room.

* * *

When it’s almost time for lunch, Hakyeon and Hongbin finally wrapped up their photoshoot. Hakyeon quickly announced that he wanted to take a shower first, while Hongbin went straight to the shelf to grab a laptop from its drawer.

“Do you mind?” asked Hongbin as he placed the laptop next to Taekwoon, and Taekwoon only shook his head a little and scooted to give him more space to sit in front of the coffee table.

“Are you going to edit it right away?” asked Taekwoon out of curiosity as Hongbin started his laptop.

“No, I’m just going to transfer the files and sort them first. Photoshoot takes a lot of energy, and so does editing. I can’t do both one after another, unless I’m really pressed by deadline,” replied Hongbin.

The laptop was on and Taekwoon couldn’t help peeking at the screen as Hongbin’s finger slid across the touch pad. He opened a ‘Kongbinim’ folder from his desktop, and there were two separate folders inside: ‘Personal’ and ‘Work’. Hongbin opened the ‘Personal’ one and Taekwoon caught a glimpse of several folders with familiar and unfamiliar names, before Hongbin opened the one labeled as ‘N’ and made a new folder with that day’s date. There were plenty of folders there, Taekwoon noticed, and it dated back as far as three years before. It seemed that Hakyeon really was Hongbin’s muse ever since their first meeting.

After plugging in the memory card from the camera, Hongbin moved all the pictures into the newly made folder. The little loading window told them that it’s going to take a while, so Hongbin simply leaned back to the couch behind him.

“The files seem huge,” commented Taekwoon.

“Pretty much. I always use RAW files when taking pictures, since it allows me to edit them more freely. Granted, the individual file size is huge, but it worth the freedom,” explained Hongbin.

Hongbin then noticed the word file that was currently open in Taekwoon’s laptop and recognized it as an article based on their interview earlier.

“Still feeling undecided about including or leaving out the part where N and I are dating, and that we’re adventurous enough to try threesome sometimes?” asked Hongbin nonchalantly. Taekwoon almost choked on his own spit.

“Well… T-that… I’m still thinking about whether it’s going to be bad or not, for both of you,” admitted Taekwoon.

“Oh. And yet, you can write so boldly about Ravi- _ssi_ like that. I thought you won’t have any problem revealing what N and I have, no matter how weird it is,” commented Hongbin. Upon hearing Wonshik’s name, Taekwoon’s heart skipped a beat.

To people who didn’t understand about the relationship they had, what Taekwoon did with that article would probably seem heartless. He saw a chance to piss Wonshik off and he took it carelessly, without thinking what consequences might await for the young model. And in the process of his personal grudge, he tainted his own image.

His little tantrums were always ineffective, just like the numerous times he did when they’re still living under the same roof.

“Ravi… To me, he is… someone I don’t have to be considerate to. It’s better if I can rile him up, even,” admitted Taekwoon quietly. Why he revealed such thing to a stranger, he didn’t really understand himself. He only thought that since Hongbin had asked, he simply wanted to give him the answer.

“You two are dating?” asked Hongbin straightforwardly. Taekwoon snorted and shook his head.

“We only fuck. And annoy each other, I think. He’s the expert on making me frustrated all the time,” replied Taekwoon.

“So much that you wrote that article to get back at him?” asked Hongbin. Taekwoon nodded in reply. “What did he do?”

“He waltz into my life as if… as if his disappearance never happens,” replied Taekwoon. He sighed deeply and continued, “Six years ago, he disappeared from my life. No call, no text, no mail or whatsoever. He’s just… gone. Poof. And I can’t find him through _anyone_ or _anything_. I only knew that he moved from Busan to Seoul, Jamsil. But other than that, I didn’t know anything. I still don’t.”

“Sounds rough,” commented Hongbin. Taekwoon chuckled humorlessly.

“Yeah, he’s an asshole,” he replied.

“But? You still love him anyway, or something?” asked Hongbin again.

“I’ve told you, we only fuck. I don’t love him,” replied Taekwoon right away. But then he paused, asking himself did he really felt that way. And Hongbin didn’t make any further comment either, as if he could sense Taekwoon debating with himself.

Gritting his teeth, Taekwoon said a little firmer than before, “I don’t love him at all.”

* * *

Taekwoon ended up staying until it’s almost time for dinner. He managed to finish the article with a lot of help from Hongbin and Hakyeon, and he quickly sent it to the Chief Editor to be checked. In the end, he followed what the two asked him to, write down everything they told him and barely left anything behind. Hongbin was also generous enough to send his self-portrait and several of his personal work to be included in the article, and all he asked in return was a copy of the magazine once it was published.

Hakyeon had offered Taekwoon to join them for dinner, but Taekwoon quickly declined. After spending the whole day with them, talking more than he was used to and facing all kinds of innuendos plus the lovey-dovey act they showed, Taekwoon wanted to have a peaceful dinner alone.

But of course, Hongbin offered to drive him back since Taekwoon’s apartment was pretty far from Hakyeon’s, and he insisted so much Taekwoon couldn’t find a way to deny him. So there he was, sitting in the passenger seat as he directed Hongbin towards his office instead. It was only a short walk away from his apartment anyway, and he wanted to get some dinner first.

“Are you sure here is okay?” asked Hongbin as he pulled away near Taekwoon’s favorite cafe.

“Yeah, I still want to buy some stuffs too before going home anyway. Thanks for the lift, Hongbin- _ssi_ ,” replied Taekwoon as he undid his seatbelt.

“Just ‘thanks’? No other payment whatsoever?” teased Hongbin, and Taekwoon snorted.

“What, do you want a kiss or something?” teased Taekwoon back. Hongbin’s eyes were wide in surprise, but then it sharpened into a dangerous desire.

“I don’t mind a kiss,” murmured Hongbin.

The change of tone, of the atmosphere, made Taekwoon’s heart and mind raced. Hongbin leaned closer, and Taekwoon felt the pull to do the same. When their lips were only centimeters apart, Hongbin held still, letting Taekwoon to take the decision.

What he ended up taking was a surge forward, capturing those lips eagerly but shortly. Taekwoon was blushing hard as they separated, with Hongbin still gazing at him as if he were to eat him alive.

“Until next time, Hongbin- _ssi_ ,” said Taekwoon.

“Yes. And do consider our offer, Taekwoon- _ssi_ ,” replied Hongbin with a small smile. Taekwoon only nodded a little at that, and hurried up to exit the car.

After one last wave, Taekwoon turned away and walked towards the cafe. He was checking the queue from the large window when he spotted a familiar silver hair.

Wonshik really was waiting for him there, seated at the quiet corner near the counter, eyes on his phone. Then, as if on cue, his gaze turned up and met Taekwoon’s dead on.

For a split second, there seemed to be a fire behind those dark eyes. But then Wonshik smiled gently at him and the fire was gone. He gave Taekwoon a little wave, and Taekwoon simply walked towards the door and then directly to the counter. Only after he took his order at the pickup area did he walk towards Wonshik’s table.

“Do you bring my clothes?” asked Wonshik instead of giving him a normal greeting.

“I’m still hoping that you’ll give those to me for free,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head at that.

“Nope, I want them back. If you’re not delivering them to me, then I’ll visit your place to take them,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon scrunched his nose in reply, then take a sip of his coffee.

“I’m going to drop by to get something for dinner first. Let’s go,” said Taekwoon as he took his cup and stood up from his seat. Wonshik quickly finished what he had left and followed Taekwoon after putting on his mask and glasses, and pulled up his hoodie.

As they walked, Taekwoon glanced at Wonshik who walked beside him. At first he was worried that people would notice that he was _that_ Ravi, but his worry decreased along with the steps they took. The image his agency tried to build about Ravi was a dandy and classy man, who wore a dress shirt and suits all the time. But Wonshik, the real Wonshik, preferred a cozy street style a lot more. With his baggy training pants, washed-out hoodie, and odd pair of sneakers, no one would notice that the one they saw was actually the celebrity Ravi.

“Do you want something for dinner too?” offered Taekwoon when they arrived at his favorite _gukbap_ restaurant.

“No, I’m on a diet. Not allowed to eat dinner,” replied Wonshik. Taekwoon shrugged and proceeded to order one portion to bring home.

They walked in silence, and it felt calming somehow. It was like when Wonshik picked him up from the evening supplementary class and walked him home, because he knew that sometimes there would be bullies harassing Taekwoon for being too smart and too quiet. Even since high school, Wonshik looked old enough to pass as a university student, and therefore those bullies didn’t dare to do anything to Taekwoon because they didn’t want to be beaten up by older guys. At those times, Wonshik also didn’t force him to talk, didn’t force him to socialize, but simply kept watchful eyes at their surroundings. Walking with him was like walking inside a warm protective bubble.

That feeling still hadn’t changed much, although Taekwoon could also feel Wonshik tensing up for some reasons.

Taekwoon offered Wonshik some water when they arrived at his apartment, and Wonshik took that offer. He sat on the couch next to Taekwoon and waited patiently until Taekwoon finished his dinner before he started speaking.

“Are you… currently seeing someone?” asked Wonshik slowly. Taekwoon frowned at that question as he stood up to bring his bowl to the sink, dropping it and the cutlery inside the washing basin to be washed later.

“No, I’m currently enjoying my single and dry, sexless life right now. Why?” replied Taekwoon.

Wonshik turned his gaze towards him, those fire from the cafe earlier returned even stronger. And the longer Taekwoon saw that gaze, the more he realized that it was—

“I saw you kissing someone, in the car near the cafe before.”

— _Jealousy_.


	5. Chapter 5

When faced with a situation he didn’t want to explain, Taekwoon usually had two choices: to lie about it or to speak the truth. Somehow, for some reason, Taekwoon always ended up doing both at the same time.

“I’m not dating him.”

That’s the truth.

“I just meet him to fuck.”

And that’s the lie.

It was a very, very blatant lie that even a child could tell. Taekwoon knew that Wonshik probably realized that it’s a lie. But the fact that Taekwoon said it like that, so easily and without any hesitation, irritated Wonshik so much.

For him, it sounded like Taekwoon was implying that he wanted to fuck that guy.

“You’re a one-night-stand kind of guy now?” asked Wonshik bitingly.

“Well, what do you care? You know nothing about me. You disappeared for six fucking years. Are you expecting me to wait for you like some lovesick woman waiting for her lover who goes to war? Even conscription only lasts for 2 years. Be real,” complained Taekwoon. Wonshik scoffed and rolled his eyes in irritation.

“Right. I don’t care,” hissed Wonshik as he stood up. “You think only you had it rough for those six years? You said I know nothing about you, but that’s the same for you too, Taekwoon. You know nothing about me!” he yelled.

“ _You_ are the one who went away! Don’t try to blame it on me!” yelled Taekwoon back.

Wonshik looked like he was about to yell again or to break things around, but he simply closed his eyes and breathed shakily until he calmed down a little.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s not your fault. Nothing is ever your fault, huh? Fine. I’m the delusional one here. I tried to go back to you, again and again, hoping that we can be happy together again, but apparently I was wrong. You seems fine without me. Happier, even. So yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s my fault,” said Wonshik with gritted teeth.

Taekwoon was pissed. Why did suddenly Wonshik become defensive like that? It’s not like Taekwoon didn’t try to reach out to Wonshik at all too during those years. But on the day Wonshik moved to his birth mother’s family, all his contacts were gone as well. His online accounts were closed and deleted—from SNS to e-mail—and his phone number was changed too. When he tried asking his mother about Wonshik’s new address, she said that she didn’t know either.

It was probably his first breakup, and it was messier than what people had told him.

“I’m going home. It’s a mistake to even come here,” said Wonshik as he stomped towards the door.

“You forgot your clothes!” yelled Taekwoon, stopping Wonshik when he’s about to open the door.

“Keep it. Use it or burn it, whatever. I don’t care anymore,” said Wonshik, before he wrenched the door open and closed it behind him with a mighty slam.

Taekwoon stood still, both confused and enraged by Wonshik’s sudden outburst.

“I’m the one who’s supposed to be angry here, asshole!” screamed Taekwoon to the door.

Feeling a bit more relieved, he proceeded to grab his bag and took out his phone. He left it off during the day, not wanting it to disturb his job. After he turned it back on and waited for it to boot up, it started ringing with many incoming messages.

The newest mail notification was from Park- _nim_ , seemingly satisfied with the new article he wrote. She just told him that there were some typos and grammatical errors that needed to be fixed, but on the overall it’s exactly what she’s looking for.

With a thought that he’d have it fixed on the next day, he moved to his chat notification. There were a lot of them, but they’re all from the same person.

 _Wonshik_.

Opening the app, he scrolled up to see all the messages he sent.

 

> **_GROOVL1N RAVI_ **
> 
> _Hey, Hyung. Are you really going to mail the clothes to me or was it just a joke?_ _  
> _ _I already wake up so you can just drop by_ _  
> _ _We can have breakfast together_
> 
> _Or maybe lunch?_ _  
> _ _Hyung, is it okay if I go to your office?_ _  
> _ _Let’s have lunch together_ _  
> _ _I know a good noodle restaurant_
> 
> _(Missed Call)_ _  
> _ _(Missed Call)_ _  
> _ _Hyung_ _  
> _ _Answer the phone_ _  
> _ _Please_
> 
> _Where are you?_
> 
> _(Missed Call)_
> 
> _I met your colleague. She said you’re not coming to the office today_ _  
> _ _Are you sick? Do I need to call a doctor?_ _  
> _ _(Missed Call)_ _  
> _ _Hyung please answer me_
> 
> _Hyung, I’m in front of your apartment door, please answer_ _  
> _ _(Missed Call)_ _  
> _ _Hyung where are you_ _  
> _ _(Missed Call)_
> 
> _Please tell me that you’re not dead_ _  
> _ _Please_
> 
> _Sorry for all the texts. I called your boss and apparently you’re going for an interview?_ _  
> _ _Sorry I panicked_ _  
> _ _What time will you be done?_ _  
> _ _I’ll wait at the cafe near your office_ _  
> _ _Just as promised_

There was one more message, but it was deleted. It seemed to be sent when he was still at the cafe, right before Taekwoon arrived. And for whatever reason, Wonshik deleted it as he returned to his own apartment, even though he probably saw that Taekwoon was online and reading all the messages. He probably didn’t care about all other messages spamming Taekwoon’s chat, but he definitely didn’t want that one to be read.

Unfortunately for Wonshik, Taekwoon had seen it and read every single word before it was gone.

> _Hyung, do you want me to disappear from your life forever so that you can be free again?_

Throwing his phone to the bed, Taekwoon dropped down to the floor and sigh.

Just like all other times he and Wonshik had a fight, he ended up being the one feeling guilty about everything.

* * *

It was probably a bad idea showing up in front of Wonshik’s apartment after they’re yelling at each other, not even an hour ago. But Taekwoon was an expert at making bad decision, so he didn’t really care about the consequences of his doing.

Just to make everything even worse, Taekwoon didn’t bother to knock or press the bell. He simply typed in the password and let himself in.

Wonshik was in the middle of pulling his clothes off when Taekwoon swung the door open. He was only in his boxers, and his tee was pulled up to his chest, revealing the chiseled abs that was usually well-hidden under his layers of suits.

Taekwoon quickly closed the door behind him, before anyone saw what he saw.

“What are you doing here, _Hyung_?” asked Wonshik bitingly, pulling his tee completely off and tossing it to the laundry bin.

“I want to apologize, for yelling at you,” replied Taekwoon timidly.

“I yelled at you too, so consider it even,” said Wonshik coldly.

Silence fell between them, with Wonshik not wanting to continue their little argument and Taekwoon not knowing how to bring the topic forward. It just went on as Wonshik went to the kitchen to grab some water, while Taekwoon took off his shoes and jacket to be put at the entryway.

“If you have nothing else to say, please leave. I need to rest,” said Wonshik without even turning to see Taekwoon. He probably could feel Taekwoon’s presence behind him, could feel their closeness, but he chose to widen that gap.

But Taekwoon took a giant step forward and held him still. The feel of Wonshik’s soft skin and firm muscles against his palms was nice. Even when it’s still cold outside, he smelled like summer vacation and beach and the tropical fruits. Taekwoon inhaled the warm and sweet smell, mixed with Wonshik’s own musky undertone, as he rested his cheek on Wonshik’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to lose you,” murmured Taekwoon, “Not again. Not anymore.”

Wonshik didn’t move or say anything, just staying still like he was still processing Taekwoon’s words. But then he slowly peeled away Taekwoon’s hands, and Taekwoon felt really gloomy as he reluctantly let go of Wonshik.

“Say it, then,” said Wonshik as he kept on holding Taekwoon’s hand. Taekwoon raised his gaze to meet with Wonshik, to see the agony he didn’t even try to cover up. “Say that you need me. Say that you can’t live without me.”

With a hand caressing Wonshik’s cheek and a direct gaze to his eyes, Taekwoon leaned forward and whispered to his lips, “I need you so much I’d die without you.”

And Wonshik accepted it without a fight.

* * *

Needless to say, Taekwoon ended up getting into Wonshik’s bed again. He couldn’t sleep yet, being a total night owl he was, while Wonshik was able to sleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Although on one side it was concerning, especially since Wonshik seemed to have a very tight schedule, it allowed Taekwoon to watch his sleeping face more freely.

Moving away the silver strands covering Wonshik’s eyes, he could see the dark eyebags even under the dimness of the room. His skin was a little bit tanned, not as dark as Hakyeon’s, but it was certainly darker than Taekwoon. And for some reasons, it looked good contrasting to his silver hair.

Taekwoon wondered since when Wonshik had silver hair. The earliest he found Wonshik’s printed ad was probably four months ago, and at that time Wonshik’s hair was already silver. He didn’t recognize him right away, since he no longer looked like that plain-faced gangster from his high school. He looked like a classy and rich foreigner, especially since he was wearing a pair of ice gray contacts.

He only realized that the ‘foreign model’ was Wonshik when he saw the women in his office were browsing through what seemed to be an online catalogue. He never heard of the brand of clothing, but he recognized Wonshik’s face in one of the close-up photos. His hair was still black, and his makeup was minimum, but it was the picture that bridged the classy model Ravi to the normal highschooler Wonshik.

A loud snore stopped Taekwoon’s train of thought, and he smiled fondly at it. Even since high school, Wonshik was a loud snorer. He remembered how during the first few months since Taekwoon moved in, he often got into fights with Wonshik because of his loud snore. After all, Taekwoon was on the third year and was preparing for the CSAT. Any disturbance during his study hour would be met with his wrath.

When everything was finally cooling down between them, Wonshik gave him a headphones with the best noise-cancelling feature, and it worked like heaven. Still, on the nights when his own thought was too noisy to concentrate, he’d put down the headphones and listened to the tank-like snore from the next room.

And after Wonshik moved out, the first thing Taekwoon realized was just how silent and empty the night was.

Finally managed to listen to the sound again, it felt like a nostalgic lullaby for Taekwoon. He scooted closer for the warmth, and slowly welcomed the sleepiness that had come to him.

* * *

Just like the last time Taekwoon spent the night at Wonshik’s place, the younger was already gone when he opened his eyes. And just like the last time, there was a note at the night table, this time telling Taekwoon that he could use whatever he wanted in the apartment, but also to be considerate on which clothes to steal this time. Wonshik specifically noted to just take one of the shirts instead of his turtleneck and hoodie, and Taekwoon only raised his eyebrows at that note.

In the end, just like the last time, Taekwoon helped himself with all the fancy stuffs Wonshik had. He even used his face cream, lotion, deodorant, and perfume without any care. He rummaged through Wonshik’s dresser and scrunched his nose at how formal all his shirts were. In the end he managed to find a flowy striped shirt, and took it along with a hooded jacket that was probably within Wonshik’s ‘do not steal’ list.

After cheekily dumping his dirty clothes into Wonshik’s laundry bin, Taekwoon went to work.

* * *

Taekwoon’s nosy coworkers were once again asking about his date, despite him already saying that he had none. The only one who believed his words was probably the Chief Editor, or she only didn’t care enough about it. She only cared about the fact that Taekwoon had managed to dig out the juicy information on Hongbin’s romance life, with a huge bonus of Hakyeon’s since they’re lovers after all.

“I know I can count on you, Taekwoon. Great job!” she said with a wide smile that made her wrinkles looked more evident than usual. Taekwoon only bowed a little in reply, trying to be modest.

“You have talent in this. Maybe I should move you for real to the interview section, rather than staying in the boring confession and random tips sections?” she offered.

“No, please don’t. Those two are only… coincidence. I have enough meeting and talking with strangers; please let me go back to my ‘boring’ sections,” denied Taekwoon quickly. Park- _nim_ cackled loudly at that; clearly her mood was really good in that moment.

“Alright, alright. I understand just how antisocial you can be. But I still can send you out for interview if any of those three needs one, right?” she asked again, playfully.

“Just don’t do it too often, please. Jisoo and Junha are more expert in that field,” said Taekwoon. She was still smiling as she nodded in agreement, and then sent him out.

“By the way, Taekwoon… Nice shirt you have there, but plan your finances more carefully. Unless, of course, you have a rich lover. Or some,” she added before he closed the door to her office. Taekwoon blushed a little at the statement, but he only ducked his head and quickly returned to his cubicle.

Unfortunately for him, his ever so noisy coworkers were still not giving up on trying to find out just who the lucky _girl_ was, and Taekwoon was so very close to reveal that he’s not into girls just to make them shut up.

“Just how many times I have to repeat it? I don’t have a date today. I’m just borrowing my younger brother’s clothes,” said Taekwoon coldly as he opened the document to his abandoned _‘The Ever So Effective Way to Use Toner’_ article.

“Younger brother? But don’t you only have sisters?” asked one of them.

“Yeah,” replied Taekwoon shortly and flatly as he scanned his own writing. _Wow, these are absolute trash. How can people believe in this?_

“Which ‘yeah’ is that? Yeah, you have a younger brother? Or, yeah, you only have sisters?” asked another.

“I have a younger brother. But I only have three older sisters too,” replied Taekwoon without any care, focusing on his current work instead.

“Wait, what? Can you repeat? It’s… confusing,” said one. At that, Taekwoon only snickered.

“Yeah. Yeah, it’s confusing,” he agreed.

What Wonshik was to him was confusing and complicated.


	6. Chapter 6

The mood was bright as Wonshik worked for the photoshoot that day, and it was good. But of course, his manager Daetuk felt somewhat off instead, since Wonshik seemed _too_ happy for no reason at all. The last time he became that bright was when his sister Jiwon made a surprise visit a few months before, but this time it couldn’t be her since she was currently studying in Europe.

“Your smiles look really bright and genuine today, Ravi- _ssi_ ,” commented the photographer. Wonshik smiled even brighter at that, if that’s even possible.

“I received good news. It’s a secret, though,” replied Wonshik teasingly.

Everyone chuckled and thought that he was cute. Daetuk, on the other hand, was mildly scared.

Wonshik saying that something was ‘a secret’ could mean another scandal, and he couldn’t let it happen.

So when they took a short break from the shot, he dragged Wonshik to the quiet emergency stairs to talk.

“I reconcile with my brother, that’s it,” answered Wonshik blatantly when he’s asked to spill what actually boosted his mood for the day. Daetuk scowled at the answer.

“You have a brother?” he asked.

“Ah… Stepbrother, to be exact. Back in high school, my parents divorced. Jiwon went with our mom, while I went with dad, and dad remarried a woman who has a son. But around two years later, dad passed away and mom took me to live with her rather than my stepmother. I hadn’t met my stepbrother since I graduated from high school, but just recently I met him and we reconcile. It makes me really happy,” explained Wonshik, still with a warm smile curling up.

Whoever this brother was, Daetuk thought that Wonshik really loved him dearly, just like how dearly he loved Jiwon.

“Good to hear that. For a moment I thought you’re dating someone without telling us. Thankfully it’s just your brother,” said Daetuk with a long sigh of relief. Wonshik chuckled at that.

“You really don’t trust me, do you, _Hyung_?” teased Wonshik.

“Since the Chanmi incident? Never,” replied Daetuk blatantly, and Wonshik outright laughed. Daetuk only shook his head in disbelief.

“By the way, is your stepbrother good-looking? You know, since the show about celebrity’s siblings are popular nowadays… Maybe you can bring Jiwon and that brother along? What’s his name anyway?” asked Daetuk again.

“I’ve told you, _Hyung_ , I don’t want my siblings to be celebrities too—not Jiwon, and certainly not Taekwoon- _hyung_ as well, no matter how good-looking they are and how much they can boost my fame,” replied Wonshik. Upon hearing the said stepbrother’s name, Daetuk scrunched his eyebrows.

“His name is… Taekwoon? Sounds like that writer from—”

“— _Gesture_ magazine, Jung Taekwoon. Yes, because that’s him,” cut Wonshik with a smile.

Daetuk’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

“The asshole who wrote about me being a bisexual is no other than my beloved _hyung_ , Jung Taekwoon of the _Gesture_ magazine,” said Wonshik with a smile too gleeful to be normal.

* * *

Wonshik was glad to be finally released from the photoshoot, and he was eager to come home and probably met Taekwoon again. But as he changed out his clothes, a certain contact called him and he was incredibly reluctant to pick it up.

“Hi, Mom, how are you?” greeted Wonshik with a fake cheerfulness.

“Hello, Wonshik. Have you returned from Jeju?” asked his mom immediately. Wonsik was contemplating about lying that he’s still in Jeju, but he didn’t want to make dangerous bets. If his mom was there as well, it’d be bad to have his lie blown away.

“No, I’ve returned to Seoul already. Why?” replied Wonshik.

“Oh, good! I have made a dinner reservation tonight at _Shangri-La_. You can come, right?” she asked. Wonshik really wanted to sigh but he held it still. If he received sudden invitation like that, there could only mean one thing, and he didn’t like it.

But what choice did Wonshik have?

“What a coincidence, my schedule is empty too. Okay, I’ll meet you there. What time?” asked Wonshik.

“Seven. Make sure you look as handsome as in those ads and drama, or I’ll be really embarrassed,” she replied. Wonshik stifled a snort at that. His mom really didn’t even try to hide her true intention.

“Don’t worry, Mom. You can count on me,” said Wonshik. After a short goodbye, Wonshik ended the call and gave out a long sigh.

Scratching his head, he opened his changing room door to report about the change in schedule to Daetuk. He explained the situation, and he’s allowed to borrow the company’s car for a night. A makeup artist and hairstylist who happened to overhear their conversation also generously offered to style him for the occasion with only grateful hug as the payment.

At that moment, Wonshik thought that it’s no wonder he managed to land on acting contracts so easily. He was a natural actor after all, putting on the correct mask every time to get what he wanted.

After he was done with the preparation, he drove to the restaurant, but not without stopping at a florist to get a bouquet since he knew that’s what his mom would expect from him.

Just before he exited the car after he parked, he made one last check on his phone. No message or call from Taekwoon at all. He opened the chatting app to inform him that he would be late because he got a sudden meeting, but in the end he decided against it and simply turned off his phone before pocketing it.

Sighing, he thought that the night was going to be a very long night.

* * *

Just as Wonshik had expected, his mom wasn’t alone at her reserved table. A woman who seemed to be around Jiwon’s age was sitting with her, with an awestruck expression when she saw him coming. Wonshik put on his best business smile as he approached them and leaned down to give his mom a kiss on the cheek as a greeting.

“Wonshik, this is Baek Jinhye, daughter of dr. Baek,” she said as she gestured to the young lady. Wonshik turned to her and bowed a little, and she returned the gesture.

“Nice to meet you, Baek Jinhye- _ssi_. I’m Kim Wonshik, otherwise known as Ravi from _GROOVL1N_ ,” said Wonshik in introduction. He then handed the small bouquet he was holding to her, with his signature sweet smile like he often showed in his dramas. “I hope you’re not allergic to flowers.”

Just as always, and like in any cheap dramas he had starred in, she blushed as she accepted the bouquet. “Thank you very much, Wonshik- _ssi_. I… I love flowers, don’t worry,” she said with a grateful smile. Wonshik’s mom looked so satisfied at their interaction.

“This child, you don’t need to be too formal at him! Just call him ‘ _oppa_ ’. Your father is my friend so you are Wonshik’s friend as well,” she said far too gleefully. Jinhye seemed to be really shy about it, and she looked expectantly at Wonshik.

“It’s okay. You can do as my mom said,” assured Wonshik with a smile.

“O-okay then… Wonshik- _oppa_ …” she said shyly. Wonshik’s mom seemed proud at how smooth it seemed to be for the time being.

Meanwhile, Wonshik was trying so hard not to puke.

It was always like that; his mother trying to introduce him to some daughter of the so-called ‘reputable’ people she knew, mostly in hope for him to marry one eventually. There was only one occasion when Wonshik rejected her invitation, and it didn’t end well. Since then, all he could do was to go along with whatever game she wanted to play, while subtly made all those women gave up on having a relationship with him.

The routine was always the same; she invited both of them for a dinner, started some conversations between them, and then pretended that an urgent matter came out of nowhere so she had to go while insisting for them to continue with the dinner without her. Afterwards, he just needed to drop some implications that his line of job required him to be intimately close with so many women, and usually they would be reluctant to move forward to a second date or whatever. That had worked really well so far.

That night, too, the routine still hadn’t changed much. She made Jinhye introduced herself to Wonshik, and the whole time she praised everything that Jinhye said. Wonshik played along, smiling and giving little encouraging comments sometimes. Wonshik’s mom then talked about how busy Wonshik was, how he didn’t have time or person to take care of him, and how Jinhye could probably help. Since Jinhye was a nutritionist, Wonshik’s mom asked her if she could help Wonshik with his diet since he was far too thin for a man. Wonshik really had to hold himself from rolling his eyes at his own mom.

As they made small talk about what traits they liked from a person, Jinhye pulled up a topic Wonshik didn’t expect to be talked about.

“This is probably a bit too soon to ask, but… The other day, I happened to read a magazine while I was waiting for an appointment, and I saw an interview piece of you in that. The article said that… you’re, uh, doesn’t discriminate when it comes to gender?” she asked carefully.

It was a sight for Wonshik to see his mom getting flustered for a moment before she managed to compose herself a little and laughed at it.

“What is it about, Wonshik?” she asked him. To others, she probably sounded like she was genuinely confused or interested. But to Wonshik, it was the first warning.

“Ah, that gossip magazine… Well, the interviewer lured me with the question of whether I prefer my female fans over the male ones, and I said I love them equally. As in, I don’t want to police about who should be idolizing me. But, of course, the writer twisted my words until it sounds like… I’m admitting to be openly bisexual,” explained Wonshik calmly.

He could see the beginning of panic and anger in his mom’s eyes, and he felt an odd sense of satisfaction at that.

“Oh, so… You’re not…?” asked Jinhye again, very carefully. Wonshik smiled sweetly at her.

“It’s a gossip magazine. Of course it’s not true,” he said. For some reason, she seemed relieved, but still uncomfortable anyway.

In the end, it was Jinhye who excused herself first under the reason that she had to go to work very early on the next day, so they ended the dinner sooner than Wonshik’s mom had planned. She couldn’t even make Wonshik drive Jinhye home since the young lady already called her family’s driver to pick her up at the restaurant.

After sending her off, Wonshik’s mom turned to glare at him. She already raised her hand to slap him, but some people walked out of the restaurant and she quickly put it down again.

“Stop making trouble, you ungrateful child. First you become a model against my words, then you make people see you as a womanizer, and now this? Bisexual? What are you thinking?!” she hissed at him.

There were so many things Wonshik wanted to say, so many self-defense and bottled anger and whatnot. But in the end, what left his mouth were always the same words, “I’m sorry, Mom.”

She sighed and rolled her eyes at him. “Whatever. Just… Make yourself appear to be more desirable as a husband, will you? Get married. Give me grandchild. That’s all I ask from you; nothing much,” she said with a pleading tone and expression.

Again, Wonshik swallowed all his protest and gave her a smile instead.

“I’ll be going home too now. I’m tired. Maybe it’s good that she called this dinner off earlier,” she said as she texted their family driver to pick her up at the restaurant’s lobby.

“Anyway, Wonshik… You still haven’t met that wretched witch’s son again, right?” she asked just before she entered the car.

Wonshik smiled sweetly fake at her and said, “No. I haven’t seen him since you fetched me that day.”

“Good. Keep it that way. I don’t want him to poison your mind ever again,” she said.

He waved and smiled at her as the car drove away, before his expression turned to be a pure hatred.

“Him? Poisoning my mind? No, Mom. It’s you who is toxic to me. Taekwoon- _hyung_ did nothing wrong,” he murmured.

* * *

If Wonshik thought that he could rile Taekwoon up by turning his phone off when Taekwoon really wanted to call him, he was absolutely correct. Taekwoon was really furious when his third attempt to call his so-called brother ended up in a voicemail.

“That little fucker…” he murmured angrily as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

After a stressful day at work, Taekwoon was hoping that maybe, _maybe_ hearing Wonshik’s voice would help to lift his mood up. But that prick didn’t even turn his phone on, and Taekwoon’s already thin patience was running even thinner.

One side of him thought that Wonshik was probably too busy at work, doing whatever a model-actor like him did, but the other side of him couldn’t accept just how Wonshik treated him. They had just reconciled, for heaven’s sake. Taekwoon even said ridiculous things like _‘I would die without you’._ But after that, Wonshik simply left him hanging. _Again_.

After his fifth try ended up in voicemail again, Taekwoon just had enough.

There was a small part of him that thought to just return to Wonshik’s apartment, but larger part of him decided against it. In the end he returned to his own apartment, throwing himself to the bed as he fished out his phone again.

Still no call or message from Wonshik.

He was already opening the call list, tempted to call Wonshik once again, but he didn’t. If Wonshik decided to be missing without a word for the whole day as the payback for what Taekwoon did the other day, so be it. He was too annoyed to care.

But Taekwoon was too riled up to rest, and honestly he was a bit horny as well. Even just for a bit, he wanted to have sex. He knew Wonshik wouldn’t deny him, but he was totally out of question at the moment. He scrolled down his call list to Hongbin’s name and pondered a little about his offer. Still, he wasn’t too sure yet about trying it out with him, especially with Hakyeon being a part of the equation as well.

Sighing, he ended up texting some random guy in his ‘casual fuck’ list. Thankfully he was available, and they met at the usual motel within half an hour later. The whole time Taekwoon let the guy fucked him, he was staring at his phone at the end table, hoping that it would light up with a message or call from Wonshik.

But even after both of them were finished and Taekwoon left the motel while blocking the guy’s number since he felt too agitated about the whole thing, there was still no contact from Wonshik.

“Just fucking disappear forever if you’re not going to be by my side always, asshole,” murmured Taekwoon.


	7. Chapter 7

Over time, Taekwoon finally figured out his dynamic with Wonshik.

One, Wonshik wasn’t always available. If he wasn’t too busy with his endless schedule, he was having a ‘me time’ whatsoever that made him unreachable for days, even weeks. Two, if Wonshik decidedly had some free time, he would look for Taekwoon at the cafe near his office, and he would annoy Taekwoon with texts and calls until Taekwoon agreed to meet him there. Three, Wonshik’s form of apology for leaving him hanging _and then_ dragging him to his apartment without any plan was to let Taekwoon use his apartment and his stuffs freely.

And four, Wonshik clearly hated the fact that Taekwoon still had the numbers of his fuck buddies in his phone, how they still texted him sometimes to ask if he wanted to fuck around a bit, but he would hide his dislike with a saccharine smile and a very thorough sex afterwards.

So far, though, Wonshik still didn’t know about Hongbin and Hakyeon’s offer for Taekwoon. They still texted him sometimes, asking whether Taekwoon had made his decision or not, but their language wasn’t as crude as Taekwoon’s other fuck buddies so Wonshik didn’t suspect a thing. Taekwoon only said that they were a photographer and makeup artist who offered him to do a photoshoot which Taekwoon declined because he didn’t actually like being photographed.

Wonshik bought that so easily.

After all, the article Taekwoon wrote about Hongbin and Hakyeon got postponed for the time being. The main cause was because the issue with Wonshik’s interview piece got so famous they ended up forcing Taekwoon to write another one on him. The condition was worsened because Chief Editor Park- _nim_ found out that Taekwoon was technically Wonshik’s stepbrother. She wanted Taekwoon to reveal as much as he could on Wonshik’s past before he became a celebrity, despite Taekwoon trying so hard to explain that they only spent a few years together before Wonshik then disappeared into thin air and suddenly reappeared.

Wonshik wasn’t helping at all when he dropped by their office, telling the Chief Editor that he didn’t mind talking about his past as long as it was Taekwoon who wrote the article. He said something along the line of _‘Taekwoon-hyung also deserves to know what happened during my six years of disappearance’_ , and just like that another article was written. The issue was also sold out at lightning speed that the plan to release a Ravi Special Edition was made.

Taekwoon really felt that all his effort and hardships to write the Hongbin-Hakyeon article had gone to drain so spectacularly and he had no one to blame but Wonshik.

And so, he played ‘let’s annoy Wonshik’ game and it felt good to see him getting frustrated over the things Taekwoon did—leaving him hanging, still texting with his fuck buddies, and even went as far as taking their call when Wonshik was in the middle of fucking him.

It was probably unfair, since Taekwoon could play Wonshik so easily in his hands, but sometimes Taekwoon couldn’t even care. He had six years worth of grudge. He felt allowed to make Wonshik miserable.

But as they went on with Taekwoon’s little game, the balance finally started to shift away.

It took a while, but Wonshik finally found out that Taekwoon riled him up mostly for the rough sex he gave afterwards. So he started to not fully give in to the temptation. He’d provoke Taekwoon back, made him turned on so much he offered himself to Wonshik unabashedly. But when that happened, Wonshik only smirked and went away, saying things like he needed to go to the set as early as 3AM so he dragged Taekwoon out from the bed and shoved him out of his door with a wide smile and a ‘good night’.

The first time it happened, it was 1AM and Taekwoon had angrily banged on Wonshik’s door since the door was still locked even after he had typed in the correct passcode. Wonshik wasn’t answering, but the next door neighbor yelled at him and called him crazy, threatening to call the apartment’s security, and it made Taekwoon felt humiliated enough to stop everything and returned to his own apartment.

Things worsened when Wonshik’s newest romance drama was aired. It was filmed after Wonshik knew Taekwoon was playing games with him, so it had become a part of their game too.

After forced to watch the first episode at the office, Taekwoon refused to watch the rest of it. He hated to admit it, but he also didn’t like how Wonshik directed his loving gaze towards someone that wasn’t Taekwoon. Whether it’s all just an act or not, he didn’t like it at all. He wanted those eyes to look at him and only him.

It was such a childish and selfish desire, but that’s what he wanted.

But as he continued with their little game without admitting his real feelings towards Wonshik, he wondered whether all the jealousy and push-and-pull they had really worth everything that happened afterwards.

* * *

There were familiar and unfamiliar faces in the meeting room when Wonshik arrived with his manager. He recognized the Chief Editor of _Gesture_ magazine, but not the guy who was with her. There were also two more men in that room, one felt oddly familiar, while the other was a makeup artist he knew by the name ‘N’. Their company’s hairstylist and fashion coordinator were also there, as well as the CEO.

Honestly, Wonshik wasn’t catching about what Daetuk said about that morning’s meeting, but from the ensemble of people he already could guess what it was. He took the last seat next to CEO Kang- _nim_ and gave a little nod to everyone in that room.

“Now that everyone is here, let’s begin our discussion,” announced Kang- _nim_ with a dagger sharp glance towards Wonshik for almost being late. Wonshik pretended not to see it, and instead just took the printed outline in front of him.

The meeting’s goal was basically to discuss about Wonshik’s special feature in _Gesture_ magazine. They’re planning for a conceptual photoshoot that captured Wonshik’s luxurious image as a celebrity, and the mysterious yet soft side as a common person. In the previous meeting, Wonshik was the one who spouted out the random fact about how the wine god Dionysus and the death god Hades were seen as two sides of the same deity in some Ancient Greek interpretation. Since lately the Ancient Greek deities were being popular again, they liked the basic idea Wonshik gave, and they worked out the outline from there.

Two kinds of photoshoots were planned; one in ‘The Great Gatsby’ kind of luxurious party, and one in dark underworldly kind of shot. Both should be able to capture the essence of Wonshik’s physical appeal, and the Chief Editor suggested a photographer who could do just that. When they contacted him for the project, though, he agreed under the condition that N was the one to do the makeup for the photoshoot. It was such an odd condition, and they weren’t so sure about getting N’s agreement about it, but they tried anyway. Surprisingly enough, just by mentioning the photographer’s name, that legendary makeup artist N agreed to the project instantly.

So there they all were, discussing again about the details of the shoot. Surprisingly enough, they wrapped up the ‘Hades’ concept first, since everyone could quickly agree on the details. They were taking some ideas from the musical ‘Elisabeth’, from the character of ‘Der Tod’ and his gaudy yet dark clothing. N had drawn a portfolio for the general idea of Wonshik’s makeup, and Wonshik had to admit that he liked how the feather-like smudged eyeliner looked in that portfolio. The fashion coordinator designed a black shirt with partial sheer part that showed off his chest, covered with thorn-like sequins. She also designed a sheer long coat to go with it, as well as black thorn crown to emphasize that he was a king.

From the set team, they showed a moodboard of a pure white set that contrast well with Wonshik’s all-black wardrobe. The cold blue light was planned to be used as the opposite of the golden yellow light planned to be used for the Dionysus side. There was also a set planned to be used for both Hades and Dionysus side, a feast table that would represent both the luxury and the loneliness within the personification of ‘Ravi’. For the Hades side, the table would be filled with silver dining wares, but no food would be presented on it. Instead, Wonshik would be holding a single pomegranate fruit as he sat on the empty feast. But for the Dionysus side, it would be filled with food and drinks on golden dining wares. But under Wonshik’s suggestion, he would still be holding the same pomegranate from the Hades shoot.

They then moved on to the Dionysus concept. The set was made to be black this time, and they planned to rent a black sports car to add up the luxurious vibe. His clothes were all white with golden accents, styled like an European royalty. His makeup was natural, emphasizing more on making him looked effortlessly regal. But they were still debating about his silver hair.

“Don’t you think red will be nice? Dionysus is a wine god after all. Red like the pomegranate, red like the wine, red like blood, and red like the color of love. It will be good,” suggested Wonshik as he scrolled past some hair color swatch provided on the hairstylist’s pad.

“No, it won’t go well with your current image,” rejected Kang- _nim_.

“I’ll dye it black after the shoot, if that’s what you’re concerned about,” bargained Wonshik.

“Why don’t have it black, then? It’s contrasting well with the silver hair for the Hades side, and it looks good with white suit too,” said the fashion coordinator.

“No, the color will be too muted then, while we want the Dionysus side to be more colorful. I support the red one,” said the photographer. He seemed to be fully concentrating on the project, and for some reasons Wonshik didn’t really like the way that photographer stared at him. What was his name, again? Wonshik had already forgotten.

“I think red will go really well with the set and the wardrobe. And just like what Ravi- _ssi_ said, we can change it to black if anything goes wrong,” agreed the hair stylist.

In the end, they were all agreed to color Wonshik’s hair red.

After several more discussion about the set and the styling, the photographer raised a very important question, “Who is the one in charge to write the article?”

“That will be me, Lee Junha. I’ll do my best to deliver the article,” answered the unfamiliar guy next to the Chief Editor. The photographer raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I thought Writer Jung Taekwoon will be the one doing it. You know, since he wrote both articles about Ravi- _ssi_ before,” he commented.

“That is my request, Hongbin- _ssi_. He stirred enough trouble for our Ravi, so I requested for a different person to write the editorial this time,” said Kang- _nim_. The photographer named Hongbin didn’t seem to agree with Kang- _nim_ , but he turned towards Wonshik instead.

“What do you think, Ravi- _ssi_? Do you trust a complete stranger to write the interpretation of your personality, or someone who could capture the real you in form of writing?” asked Hongbin.

All eyes were on Wonshik now, and he honestly didn’t like it. But Hongbin’s words felt like a challenge, and he felt like to rebel every time he had the chance to.

So he just gave them all his best business smile and suggested, “Why don’t we let Writer Lee and Writer Jung to compete?”

* * *

The Chief Editor’s tone was serious and urgent when she called Taekwoon to come to _GROOVL1N_ office immediately. He didn’t know what happened, what kind of disaster was currently happening, but he knew well that it’s probably Wonshik again. Lately, all his stresses came from Wonshik, so it’s doubtful if there was anyone else who could ruin his otherwise boring day.

As he opened the door to the meeting room, he noticed how all eyes were on him. The presence of Wonshik and his Chief Editor were expected, but he was surprised to see Hongbin and Hakyeon there as well. The current situation certainly was alarming.

“Taekwoon, sit down and listen to us for a bit,” called Park- _nim_ as she pointed at an empty seat right next to her. Taekwoon nodded in reply and quickly sat down, glancing nervously around him. He had a rough idea about their magazine wanting to have a special edition for Wonshik, but he didn’t know any details yet. After all, the project was only discussed among the people who were involved in it, while Taekwoon wasn’t a part of it.

Until that moment, though.

“So it’s like this; you and Junha will be competing to write an editorial piece for this special edition. Junha already has the brief from the meetings so far, and you will be given the same brief after this meeting. Both of you must be present during the photoshoot, and you’re allowed to question Ravi- _ssi_ as much and as deep as it’s needed, and you can use the answer from the other’s questions, but you’re not allowed to exchange notes. Now CEO Kang- _nim_ will give you a short explanation about the concept of this shot,” explained Park- _nim_.

“E-excuse me, please hold on a little. Isn’t it already decided that Junha will be the one writing it? Why suddenly it becomes a competition? And why only Junha and I?” asked Taekwoon immediately.

“I’m the one who suggested to them to use you who has written two articles on him rather than a completely new person,” said Hongbin straightforwardly.

“And I’m the one who suggested the competition, just to make it fair,” added Wonshik.

Taekwoon couldn’t stop himself from glaring at Wonshik. With what’s going on between them, the competition was hardly even fair. If anything, Wonshik would definitely choose his writing over Junha’s, no matter how shitty Taekwoon wrote it. And it wouldn’t be fair for Junha, who was basically his senior for editorial and interview pieces.

“You don’t have to worry about the result being unfair. We’ll read the piece you write without knowing who wrote which one. The judges will be Ravi- _ssi_ himself, CEO Kang- _nim_ , Photographer Hongbin, _GROOVL1N_ PR Choi- _nim_ , and myself. Just do your best and we’ll judge it for you,” said Park- _nim_ , clearly emphasizing that Taekwoon mustn’t take the opportunity for granted.

In the end, Taekwoon could only let himself being dragged into this little competition he didn’t want to take part in.


	8. Chapter 8

The people from _Gesture_ magazine had left earlier, while both Hakyeon and Hongbin stayed to discuss further about the shoot’s concept with _GROOVL1N_ staffs. Wonshik also stayed, of course, since he had nowhere to go and because he’s the centerpiece of the whole discussion anyway.

But before the second round of discussion started, they were having a small break first, and Wonshik immediately went to Hakyeon for a little talk.

“So, that photographer… That’s the boyfriend you mentioned before?” asked Wonshik as he glanced at Hongbin, who went away with the hairstylist and fashion coordinator.

“Yes, that’s him. What do you think? He’s handsome, right?” replied Hakyeon cheerfully. Wonshik made a face at that.

“He looks like someone who’s supposed to stand in front of the camera rather than behind it. Though, I’m still more handsome than him,” said Wonshik. Hakyeon chuckled at that.

“And, let me guess, he’s not your type either?” asked Hakyeon.

“I’ve told you, _Hyung_ ; I’m single but I’m not available. I’m flattered that both of you are interested in me, but my interest aren’t the same,” replied Wonshik. There was seriousness hidden behind his playful smile, and it’s not that hard to see it.

“Shame. I want to know how good your body feels like, and I think Hongbin’s complexion will look amazing pressed between us,” said Hakyeon. Wonshik scoffed at that.

“Pervert,” he commented. Hakyeon only chuckled at that.

“But you really are something, aren’t you? Appearing to be a glutton who will eat just about anything, but truthfully you’re a terribly picky eater. Seriously, in this time and age, who doesn’t go around and explore all the possibilities? You really are pretentious,” commented Hakyeon.

“It’s called ‘loyalty’, _Hyung_ , and it’s a good thing,” replied Wonshik with an eyeroll.

“I’m loyal to Hongbin, though,” said Hakyeon with a shrug. Wonshik could only shake his head at that.

* * *

There was a lot to study about for the upcoming writing, and Taekwoon had already given up. He had known for a very long time that Wonshik had fascination over ancient Greeks and Romans and all those poetic stuff. But thanks to that, he had to read so many things about Hades and Dionysus and the lores about them being two sides of the same deity and all. His head felt like it’s about to burst.

His headache was added with the fact that Hakyeon and Hongbin were there in the project. He still could avoid them somewhat during the meeting, but he didn’t know what would happen during the photoshoot. He didn’t want to know either.

As he rolled on his bed with his jumbled thoughts, his phone rang and he mindlessly picked it up without looking at the caller’s ID.

“Hello?”

“Taekwoon, how are you?” greeted a very familiar voice. Taekwoon immediately sat straight up, smiling at the voice.

“Mom! What a surprise! Ah, I’m doing good. How about you, Mom?” replied Taekwoon enthusiastically.

“I’m doing good as well. I’m currently in Myeongdong for a little research. Are you currently free? Have you eaten yet?” she asked. Taekwoon was mildly surprised to hear that she’s all the way there instead of being in their house in Busan, but he guessed it was for her restaurant business. She did say something about expanding the market a little bit.

“Hmm, I haven’t eaten any dinner yet, and my work can be postponed,” said Taekwoon.

“Let’s have dinner together, then. I’ll send you the location,” she said. After bidding goodbye, they ended the call. Taekwoon immediately stashed his laptop away and got ready, making sure that he looked well-groomed enough to not make his mother concerned.

After checking his phone again for the location, he departed.

* * *

Taekwoon’s mother picked the restaurant Taekwoon frequented to for their dinner, so he gladly helped her to choose from the menu. It had been months since the last time Taekwoon went home, so they talked a lot to catch up. Still, there were a lot of things Taekwoon didn’t tell her, like what exactly he was doing recently and how his private life was in general. He did ask a lot about her restaurant, though, and he’s glad to hear that it was running smoothly.

The restaurant was originally made not long after she and Wonshik’s father got married. She loved to cook, and he supported her dream to open her own restaurant. Ever since his stepfather’s death, she had been struggling, especially since Taekwoon was still studying in university and Wonshik was about to enter one as well. Fortunately, or not, Wonshik’s birth mother suddenly showed up to bring him back with her. Taekwoon’s mother no longer had to think about paying Wonshik’s university tuition, and Wonshik’s birth mother also generously paid the rest of his high school tuition. Thanks to that, she could focus more on her business.

Her business flourished, but it made her so busy she didn’t have enough attention towards Taekwoon’s personal struggle. That made him hated the restaurant, the place that suffocated him with bittersweet memories, so he ran away. Instead of helping with the restaurant after he graduated from university, Taekwoon applied for a job in the capital. He told his mother that he was chasing for his dream to be a writer, but in reality he was just escaping from his past.

Ironically, his escape was one of the main factors that pushed her business even further. With no one she should think about, she could focus solely on the restaurant. When Taekwoon was still a freelance writer too, he was requested to write about her restaurant several times. That’s how he knew that she was doing well.

It was saddening to know that his mother was doing well because he wasn’t there, but he thought that he should be happy for her too.

As they enjoyed their dinner, Taekwoon’s phone buzzed with a new incoming message. He checked it quickly, and found Wonshik asking him whether he had already eaten or not.

 _‘I’m currently eating at Blue Blossom’_ , he quickly replied. He pocketed his phone immediately after replying, and didn’t check it again since he thought that Wonshik wouldn’t reply him after finding out that he’s already eating.

So when he heard Wonshik’s voice calling his name in that restaurant, he was really surprised. But the first reaction didn’t come from him. It was from his mother instead.

“Won… shik?” she called with a shocked expression on her face. It was like she was seeing a ghost, someone who shouldn’t be there anymore.

The expression on Wonshik’s face mirrored her as he realized who was the woman sitting with Taekwoon in that table.

“Ah, Mo—I mean, Jung Taemi- _nim_ , hello,” greeted Wonshik formally with a slight bow. It was Taekwoon’s turn then to be confused. Why would Wonshik be so formal towards his mother? Granted, they were no longer a family since Wonshik moved out, but there was a point when Wonshik was her beloved second son.

Although, seeing how the air around those two got really tense at the moment, Taekwoon guessed that something happened between them… Something that Taekwoon didn’t know yet.

“Hello, Wonshik. It’s been a long time. Have you eaten yet?” she greeted back. Her lips were curling up, but it was clear that she was hiding something as well.

“Unfortunately, I’m on a diet. Although I haven’t eaten yet, I’m not allowed to,” replied Wonshik. He then glanced to Taekwoon and added, “I’m… sorry for interrupting your dinner. I just want to say ‘hi’ to Taekwoon- _hyung_. Please, enjoy your meal. I’ll get going now.”

Taekwoon wanted to ask him what’s wrong and why he was in a hurry like that, but his mother beat him to it, “You must be very busy then. Okay, take care. Don’t forget to get some rest.”

To be completely honest, Taekwoon wasn’t expecting his mother to say goodbye so easily to Wonshik like that. He thought she’d ask him to stay a bit even just to talk, but apparently he was wrong. And Wonshik too, he didn’t even try to join them, and simply waved a goodbye.

Even if both of them didn’t say it, he was sure that something happened between them that he didn’t know about.

“Taekwoon,” called his mother, pulling his focus back to the current situation. “How long… since you and Wonshik meet again?”

“Ah… About half a year now, I guess? Why?” replied Taekwoon. His mother seemed like she wanted to say something, but not wanting it to offend him. So he just waited patiently until she managed to find the words she wanted to stay.

“Don’t you think it’s best to take some distance from him? I mean, isn’t he a celebrity now? You are just… a common person. It’s probably not good for you to get close with him anymore,” she said slowly.

Taekwoon scrunched his eyebrows at her words. Wasn’t she the one who told him to be nice to Wonshik so many years ago? When she and Wonshik’s dad got married, Taekwoon hated the younger brother he suddenly got. He was used to being the youngest and the most spoiled one in the house. But with the appearance of a younger brother, he was forced to be the mature and composed one for the sake of this younger brother. It was made worse by the fact that in reality, Wonshik was the more mature one since he was used to being the older brother before his parents divorced. He hated Wonshik so much back then, but his mother insisted that he should get along well with Wonshik.

So why was it so different then?

“Although father has died, and Wonshik and I don’t share any blood relation at all, the fact that we were once a family doesn’t change. Shouldn’t you be glad that we’ve reconciled and become close again?” asked Taekwoon. She smiled, uncomfortably, like she was hiding something.

“I’m just thinking what’s best for both of you. It’s good that you still consider him as your family, but… He has his own family now. We shouldn’t interfere anymore,” she said slowly.

“Mom… What do you mean?” asked Taekwoon. He couldn’t understand the situation at all. But she simply smiled and urged him to finish his food before it got too cold.

“How long are you staying here?” asked Taekwoon after they finished their dinner.

“Around a week. I’ll probably be busy starting from tomorrow, though, so we probably can’t meet. You’re doing good with your work, right?” she said. Taekwoon nodded, and she softly caressed his cheek.

“Take care of yourself. I’ll be going now,” she said again. Taekwoon gave her a long hug before letting her called a taxi and returned to her hotel. With a long sigh, Taekwoon fished out his phone just to check if he got any new message.

The last message he got was just Wonshik’s _‘Okay’_ in reply to his message earlier. Other than that, there was no message from Wonshik at all.

Just trying his luck, he called Wonshik’s number.

“Hello?”

Taekwoon let out a relieved sigh when he heard that husky voice.

“Mom already returns to her hotel. Where are you? Don’t you want to see me?” asked Taekwoon instead of greeting. There was a pause and he could hear Wonshik sighing.

“I’m at home, but tomorrow I have a photoshoot,” said Wonshik. It was as good as telling Taekwoon to go away, but he wasn’t having it. Wonshik had went all the way to meet him as he was eating earlier, although Wonshik himself was on a diet and wouldn’t be able to get a dinner even if Taekwoon’s mother wasn’t there. That said a lot about him wanting to meet Taekwoon.

“Can’t you be honest for once and just say that you want to see me?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik laughed from the other side of the phone, as if he thought that Taekwoon was teasing him. But somehow, his voice sounded strained.

“The Hades photoshoot is scheduled at 3 days from now. We can meet then,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon only hummed in response. It reminded him, he still had a lot to read about.

“Yeah, you’re right. See you in 3 days then,” replied Taekwoon. They didn’t say anything after that, just waiting for the other to say something. When nothing came up after a few seconds, they simply ended the call.

* * *

If Wonshik thought that Taekwoon would ever listen to him, he was wrong.

The clock was showing that it was still around 9PM when Taekwoon arrived unannounced at Wonshik’s apartment. The younger man turned away from the TV he was watching, looking surprised to see Taekwoon showing up like that. Still, he said nothing as he let Taekwoon grabbed some water and a pack of potato chip from his cabinet, then plopped to the couch next to Wonshik.

“Ugh, can’t you switch the channel? This drama sucks,” commented Taekwoon as he opened the potato chip. Wonshik scoffed at that as he returned his sight to the TV.

“Why? The main actor is awesomely good, though,” said Wonshik nonchalantly.

The said main actor, whose face filled the screen at the current scene, was no other than Wonshik himself. He looked sophisticated, as expected from his role as a mix-blood _chaebol_ , and his gaze was filled with practiced longing as he was staring at the off-screen main female character.

“The story is shallow and boring. I can write something better than this,” said Taekwoon before he began munching on the potato chips. Wonshik often wondered how could Taekwoon ate snack after eating a whole dinner and still didn’t get fat at all. He got cute chubby cheeks and soft tummy, but that’s all.

“Hmm, then would you try writing a story? Publish a book? I’ll promote it until it’s famous enough to be adapted into a TV series or a movie, and I’ll be the main actor,” said Wonshik with a teasing smile. Taekwoon flicked his forehead in return, making Wonshik yelped in surprise and pain.

“Don’t get too full of yourself. Brat,” said Taekwoon between his munches. Wonshik only giggled in reply.

In the end, they didn’t change the channel, watching the cheap romance drama both of them disliked so much. Glancing at Wonshik who was sitting beside him, Taekwoon vaguely thought that he preferred a simple and thug-like Wonshik at his side rather than the classy rich Wang-something-or-other dude he played as on screen.

But seeing how his agency shaped ‘Ravi’, Taekwoon wondered just how long until the polished lie would become the truth, causing ‘Wonshik’ to disappear forever.

He didn’t know whether he’d stay when that time came, either.


	9. Chapter 9

Taekwoon was forever thankful for the iced Americano a staff gave him, because he’s really just a blink away from sleeping. It was probably his first time ever being involved in a big photoshoot like that, although he’d only be watching from the side. Junha hadn’t arrived yet, and Taekwoon honestly felt embarrassed when he asked around to the set staffs just to find out that the ones required to arrive early at the studio were only the set staffs and the photographer.

Still, he thought that it gave him time to read the shoot’s brief again and got some words going in his head.

Although the shot was supposed to reflect Wonshik’s inner side as a non-celebrity, in the end most of his real self was trimmed off by Kang- _nim_. They wanted to market ‘Ravi’, not ‘Wonshik’. So all details about his liking to hip-hop and street style were cut off, leaving only the part where he said that he liked to maintain his muscles and made him show it because that thing sold better with his luxurious image. The part where he said he liked simple things were also cut off, but they kept the part where he said he did enjoy buying branded items. The only thing that was left untouched was his confession that he was actually shy and a loner.

Taekwoon took another sip of coffee as he tried to remember just how much of a ‘shy loner’ Wonshik was.

* * *

The first time Taekwoon heard about his mother dating again, he was on the 2nd year of high school. At that time, his mother and Wonshik’s father had been dating for almost half a year already, and he didn’t approve of their relationship. He didn’t understand her need to find a new husband after Taekwoon’s father died from an accident. He thought that they could live just okay from the insurance money, and all of his sisters were already working so they could help their mother to raise Taekwoon if it’s needed. His sisters disapproved her dating again too, so they moved out to live on their own. Meanwhile, Taekwoon had no other choice but to stay, to see his mother falling in love with a man who wasn’t his father.

It was made worse when later he found out that his mother’s boyfriend had a son of his own. Moreover, him being single wasn’t because his wife died but because they divorced. It felt like a red flag for Taekwoon, and he warned his mother about it. She wasn’t listening, as she seemed to be really in love with this man. And so, before he even met him and his son, he already hated them.

When they officially met in a family restaurant, Taekwoon was sending them death glares instead of ‘playing nice’ like his mother told him to.

Wonshik’s father, though, greeted him with a genuine smile. He was taken aback when it happened, since his own father didn’t smile that much either. He automatically dropped his glare, and awkwardly greeted him properly in return.

The son, though. He just stared at Taekwoon for a very long time before his father told him to greet his _hyung_ properly. Taekwoon was surprised to hear that, since he thought that the boy in front of him was older. He was even more surprised to know that the boy, Wonshik, was actually 3 years younger than him. Although, since there were some circumstances on Taekwoon’s birthday, their school year were only 2 years apart.

During the lunch, only their parents talked a lot. All Wonshik and Taekwoon did were throwing glances at each other, like they’re observing a wild animal or some sort. In the end, their parents simply thought that they’re still shy since it’s their first meeting, and proposed that they meet up more often in the future.

Just like that, Taekwoon’s weekends turned to be _‘meet my new-family-to-be’_. Everything was still pretty much okay, until one day Wonshik’s father had the brilliant idea to take them to the arcade. It was supposed to be just fun and games, but they didn’t know just how competitive Taekwoon could be.

As their parents thought that it’s a good idea to let Taekwoon and Wonshik played basketball shooting game, the situation was starting to get out of hand. Out of competitiveness, Taekwoon slapped the ‘versus mode’ button before Wonshik could even breathe out the first syllable of his question. Taekwoon only glanced at him with burning sight as the machine shouted out “Versus Mode!” to provoke him.

What Taekwoon didn’t expect was for Wonshik to be _very_ good at the game. Granted, Taekwoon usually played it with his sisters, and they were never really tried to win or anything since Taekwoon was their baby brother. But Wonshik was different. He didn’t show any mercy to Taekwoon, and solely focused on scoring as fast as possible.

That made Taekwoon’s blood boiled, and he began frantically throwing the balls without even minding whether it’s going to get in or not. If he couldn’t compete with the technique, he’d just make up to it with the frequency.

What he didn’t expect was, for one of the balls he threw so carelessly to bounce back and hit Wonshik square on his face. The boy even fell down from the force of it, causing their parents to quickly rush to him to check if he’s okay.

“I’m okay, I’m okay. Don’t worry,” said Wonshik as he stood up slowly. He didn’t seem okay, Taekwoon thought, not with the redness and slight swelling on his cheek. But his concern was thrown away when the end whistle blasted out from the basketball machine and it announced Taekwoon’s defeat loudly.

“Taekwoon, shouldn’t you say something to Wonshik?” warned his mother sternly.

Not only he lost in the game he thought he was good at, he was also scolded by his own mother in front of other people. At that moment, his annoyance got the better of him. So instead of apologizing like a normal person would, he threw angry glare and scowled at Wonshik.

“Not my fault that he’s stupid enough not to dodge the incoming ball,” spat Taekwoon. Feeling even more rebellious, Taekwoon simply turned away as his mother called his name scoldingly. He thought that his mother would probably drag him back and forced him to apologize properly to Wonshik anyway.

So when a ball hit the back of his head in full force until he almost tripped, he was very surprised. Turning around with anger in his face, he saw Wonshik pulling down his hands, obviously had just threw that ball to Taekwoon.

“We’re even now. No need to apologize if you don’t want to,” said Wonshik coldly. The way he stared at Taekwoon with those droopy eyes, it felt like a mocking.

What stopped Taekwoon from attacking Wonshik back was the sight of Wonshik’s father apologizing for his son’s rude behavior to his mother, while his mother apologized in Taekwoon’s behalf to Wonshik’s father.

That day he returned home with a long scolding from his mother, and the memory of Wonshik’s cold gaze piercing into the very core of his soul.

* * *

Soft tap on his shoulder woke Taekwoon up from his sleep. Apparently he dozed off as he sat down and read the brief, and he didn’t quite realize that. Blinking several times and looking around him to see who woke him up, he was met with a pair of steel grey eyes. But despite the cold colors, despite the sharp lines decorating them, those eyes looked much warmer than the ones he had just seen in his memory-like dream.

“Everyone’s looking for you. Come on, the shoot is starting,” said Wonshik as he stood up and offered his hand to Taekwoon. Taekwoon took it and stood up, yawning and stretching up his body like a cat, making Wonshik chuckled at his behavior.

“How do you find me?” asked Taekwoon as he bent down to take his dropped phone and whatever was left of his watery Americano.

“I have three years experience of finding you, _Hyung_. I always know where you’re hiding,” said Wonshik with a smile. Taekwoon only hummed in reply as he followed Wonshik to the set, seeing how everything had been done nicely. Junha had already arrived too, and he was actively talking to Hongbin. Taekwoon scrunched his eyebrows in dislike as he thought just how much he missed from that conversation. Although he didn’t want to compete with Junha, the bratty side of him still refused to lose in any sort of competition.

“By the way, what happened with your wardrobe? Aren’t you supposed to wear a shirt?” asked Taekwoon as he took a better look at Wonshik. He was only wearing the sheer coat that was supposed to be a complement only. The rest of his chest was exposed for the world to see, and Taekwoon was sure it got contoured too to make it look even more defined.

“They decided to do this first. If it’s too sexy, they’ll give me the shirt,” said Wonshik as he laughed nervously. He then glanced at Taekwoon as he positioned himself in front of what seemed to be a makeshift throne covered in white fur, then asked, “Is it too much? How do you think?”

“You’re asking someone who has seen you completely naked, Kim Wonshik- _ssi_ ,” said Taekwoon, deadpanned. Wonshik chuckled as he positioned himself on the throne, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

Taekwoon frowned at the posture and pushed Wonshik to lean back to the throne instead. Surprised by the sudden gesture, Wonshik let himself being guided by Taekwoon’s hand. When Taekwoon was satisfied by the way Wonshik sat, he moved Wonshik’s elbows to rest on the armrests instead of his own lap.

“There. You’re a king of the Underworld in this concept. A king doesn’t lean forward to look up at people; he leans back to look down at them,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik smiled at that, holding Taekwoon’s hand as he looked up to him.

“But will you let me look up to you, my Persephone?” he teased. Taekwoon willed himself not to blush, although his ears went red anyway.

“I’m not a girl,” said Taekwoon as he pulled away his hand. “And I don’t like the idea of being Persephone, kidnapped and forced to marry someone I don’t even know. Even if Hades is loyal to her, I don’t like it still.”

There was a flash of coldness, of sadness or some kind, that passed on Wonshik’s eyes. But it disappeared as fast as it came, expertly covered with a smile.

“Yeah, I’m just kidding,” said Wonshik as he leaned back again. “You should step out from the set. It seems that your friend has stopped annoying our handsome photographer so the shoot can finally start,” he added as he glanced to where Hongbin was standing. Taekwoon turned to see him already holding up his camera, probably wanting to adjust the settings and take some sample pictures.

Hurriedly, Taekwoon stepped aside and joined the other crews behind the camera.

“That posture is good. Thanks for directing it,” said Hongbin as he flashed a smile at Taekwoon, before returning his focus to Wonshik. It seemed that he saw what they did, and it made Taekwoon felt somewhat embarrassed.

“What do you think, Taekwoonie? Doesn’t he look _ravishing_?” asked Hakyeon as he chuckled at his own pun.

“Yeah, he looks… good. Your skill really is something,” replied Taekwoon as he observed how Wonshik started to pose for the camera, and how Hongbin gave him some directions of how to change the angles and what feel he wanted to get.

“His body really is nice, right? Just imagine being able to touch it freely, feeling it being held against your body…” commented Hakyeon softly, just loud enough for Taekwoon to hear. Taekwoon could feel his face heating up, since he _did_ know how it felt. He had touched those chests, those chocolate abs, and have them gliding against his own body. He knew how good it felt, how much it turned him on, especially with those sinful hip rolls that hit him _just right_.

He took a deep breath and willed himself to focus on the shoot. He could think freely about what they’d done in Wonshik’s apartment later on.

After the first round of shots was done, Wonshik got a quick change of clothes on set. It was the shirt he was supposed to wear, accompanied with a looser piece of sheer coat. He was directed to sit straighter this time, looking more royal than the shot before.

They took a lunch break afterwards, while reviewing the pictures taken so far. Wonshik had taken off his thorn crown and changed his top to a warm hooded jacket. They all stood in front of a huge screen while a staff operated the computer to show them the pictures from newest to oldest.

Just as expected from Hongbin, he knew the best angles to bring forward Wonshik's handsomeness. His fierce yet cold gaze made him look intimidating, silently telling everyone to go away from him. His firm posture screamed out that he owned the place, so everyone else shouldn't interrupt it.

But at the next set of the pictures, he looked more mysterious and otherworldly because of the lighting and relaxed posture. He looked like a lonesome god, waiting for someone to fill the emptiness.

As they kept on looking at the pictures while marking the ones they wanted to take, they finally reached the ones that were supposed to be the test pictures.

But in one of those, the longing and sadness in Wonshik's eyes that disappeared in a blink before were eternalized in the picture Hongbin took.

He was still holding the very tip of Taekwoon's fingers, leaning towards him and staring up like a mere mortal looking at his god.

"We'll take this one."

All eyes were on Chief Editor Park- _nim_. No one expected that it would be chosen, since it was clear that the picture was a test picture one.

"This is a test picture, though. And someone's hand got into the frame. Do you still want it?" asked Hongbin.

"Yes, we'll take this one. Crop it to focus more on his face, but don't crop that whosoever hand. This is an excellent shot," she said.

Hongbin took a quick glance at Taekwoon before marking that picture. It was a knowing look; a simple statement that let Taekwoon knew that Hongbin _knew_.

Feeling like he was caught red-handed doing some public indecency, Taekwoon looked away from Hongbin and the screen that still displayed Wonshik's face… just to be met with Wonshik's gaze on him. But then the younger simply turned away while munching on his sandwich, walking towards the clutter of seats since they're done with the first selection.

Taekwoon wanted to follow him, but then he saw Junha was already approaching Wonshik to talk. For some reason, he didn't want to listen to what Junha asked Wonshik, and how Wonshik answered him.

In the end, Taekwoon simply went to the food buffet for lunch. He took a big portion and got a seat at the dining table, then pulled out his tablet to type in some important points to be expanded later on. He was expecting that he'd be left alone or just with some random staffs, but a familiar face joined him at the table instead.

"This seat isn't taken, right?" asked Hongbin as he pulled apart his chopsticks. Taekwoon glanced up from his tablet before returning to it again.

"You're already sitting there, though," replied Taekwoon.

There was silence as Hongbin mixed his noodles with the sauce, but when he's done, he immediately asked, "What is your relationship with Ravi, actually?"

Taekwoon widened his eyes at the question. In all honesty, he didn't know. They used to be brothers, and then they're not. He doubted that they're ever a lovers, but they're more emotionally attached than just a fuck buddies. But if there's anything Taekwoon was sure about, it's the fact that they're each other's firsts.

First love. First kiss. First sex. First breakup.

“I heard what he said. About the Persephone,” added Hongbin before he began slurping on his noodles. Taekwoon scoffed and shook his head.

“Then you must’ve heard about what I told him about that,” said Taekwoon coldly.

“Mm. But some lores said that Persephone willingly followed Hades and ate the pomegranate, because she knew that no one could touch her if she became the Queen of the Underworld, and that the so-called fearsome king is a loyal and soft-hearted god,” said Hongbin. He stared at Taekwoon with that piercing gaze again, the one that seemed to be reaching for Taekwoon’s innermost thoughts.

“Which version of Persephone are you, Taekwoon- _ssi_?” asked Hongbin.

Taekwoon couldn’t find any words to answer that. The forbidden kiss that started it all, and the blossoming feelings he kept even after so many years had passed, it pointed out to the same answer.

Still, it made his blood boiled instead.

“I’m not a girl, and I’m not Persephone,” said Taekwoon coldly as he slammed his hand to the table. Feeling that he had lost his appetite, he stood up and was about to take his tray away when Hongbin also stood up and grabbed his wrist to prevent him from going.

“Wait. I’m sorry. I’ve crossed the line. I’m really sorry, Taekwoon- _ssi_ ,” said Hongbin. Taekwoon was glaring at him, and Hongbin looked back at him without any fear. He looked honestly sorry for what he said, and his apologetic expression still looked adorable even in the angry Taekwoon’s eyes.

“Kiss me,” said Taekwoon while still glaring at Hongbin. The photographer looked confused with his words, so he elaborated it, “If you’re really sorry and want me to forgive you, apologize with a kiss.”

It was very bratty of him, and he could see Hongbin thought of it too as he sighed and gave him a half-smile. But Hongbin didn’t comment on it, didn’t make fun of him, but instead nodded in agreement.

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” said Hongbin.

Taekwoon let Hongbin touched his face, grazing his thumb against the beauty mark under his right eye before leaning closer and let their lips met in a chaste kiss. While it didn’t exactly satisfy him as an apology, it did give him some mood boost.

“Am I forgiven?” asked Hongbin. Taekwoon only scrunched his face in reply.

“Don’t ever compare me to Persephone again,” threatened Taekwoon. Hongbin nodded solemnly at that, and Taekwoon returned to his seat to continue his meal.

When a staff called them back to continue with the shoot, the previous set had been pushed aside and replaced with the empty feast table. Wonshik already had his makeup retouched, and a change of wardrobe that consisted of a glittery black sheer shirt and a heavy grey robe that had flame-like pattern on the bottom part. The redness of the pomegranate he held in his hand really contrasted the cold color scheme on him and the set.

Just like the previous sessions, Hongbin gave some direction to Wonshik about what kind of pose and expression he was looking for in the current shot, and Wonshik quickly nodded at it although he seemed to be avoiding eye contact with the photographer. But as soon as he was given the cue to start, he stared right through the lens without any hesitation.

For the first few shots, Taekwoon was still looking at the set while wondering whether Wonshik was always that intense or not. But then later he realized that the result of the shots was previewed live on the big screen, so he opted to have a look on that instead.

On that big screen, Taekwoon could see more clearly the burning emotions written all over Wonshik’s face. He could feel the loneliness, the burning desire to have his emptiness filled.

But then the screen flashed to the newly taken picture, and for the first time in that session, Wonshik looked away from the lens. He was looking at a space outside the set, and the look reflected in those steel-like eyes was completely different from the previous picture.

It was a look of utter betrayal.

The screen flashed again and yet another picture of Wonshik looking away from the lens, from the space he stared at before, was shown. And in that picture, his expression had turned into something akin to heartbreak and resignation.

When Wonshik returned his gaze to the lens, Taekwoon felt like his chest was pierced by ice cold needles.

The look Wonshik had on his face was exactly the one he showed when they bid their goodbyes six years ago.


	10. Chapter 10

“Please let me stay until graduation,” begged Wonshik as he bowed as deeply as he could to the two women he called his mother. “Please. Just until graduation. I need to get good grades in CSAT to get into a good University in Seoul, and I can’t do it if I have to move school so suddenly like this. But I swear, after that, I’ll do as both of you said.”

Even when he couldn’t look at them, he could feel their piercing gaze on him. He knew that he probably asked for too much, and half expecting that they’d say that it wouldn’t do. Still, he begged inside his heart for the universe or whatever forces was out there to help him.

“Hmm, he has a point. What do you think?” asked his birth mother.

“Fair enough. Just until graduation. And don’t even think to purposely fail your CSAT,” said his stepmother.

It was difficult not to cry in relief as he heard their answer, so he let his tears flowed freely.

“Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Mother,” he sobbed.

The two women discussed the arrangement of Wonshik’s moving as they waited for him to stop crying. It felt like they’re trading him off as some life stock rather than a human being, and it made him feel sad. But oddly enough, he felt glad… that it’s not Taekwoon who had to go through it, and that he was given some time to spend with him.

Three months would probably pass really fast compared to the three years they’d spent together, but he’d take it anyway.

When they’re done with their talk, they parted ways. Wonshik returned home with his stepmother, and the atmosphere felt really heavy.

“Wonshik… Now that it has come to this, don’t call me ‘mother’ anymore when Taekwoon isn’t around. We are not even related by blood,” she said coldly. Wonshik could only nod at that, knowing that he no longer had the right to do so.

“I understand, Jung- _nim_ ,” said Wonshik weakly.

She was right, he thought. She wasn’t his mother, the same way Taekwoon wasn’t his brother.

Still, a part of him still hoped that they stayed as family in some ways. Despite how they didn’t share any blood relation, despite how he and Taekwoon had clearly crossed the line of how brothers were supposed to be, he wanted to stay as their family.

He knew he brought it to himself when he let himself fell for the grouchy yet adorable boy, the one too used to be the baby brother and yet still tried his best to be the elder brother that Wonshik could depend on, the one who was strong enough to beat people down to pulp but also whined all the time about not being able to open a jar of strawberry jam.

They stopped by for some grocery shopping to make it less suspicious for Taekwoon who stayed at home doing his homework. When they got back, Taekwoon seemed to be sulking for not being brought along since he actually enjoyed grocery shopping.

“You’ll only whine about how heavy the groceries are as we carry them home, _Hyung_ ,” teased Wonshik as he stored some sauces into the fridge. He then fetched a bottled coffee Taekwoon loved so much and handed it to him with a warm smile. “We don’t forget to get your favorites, so don’t worry and just finish your homework.”

“Said someone who’s supposed to be cramming for CSAT,” grumbled Taekwoon as he snatched the bottle from Wonshik’s hand.

“Taekwoon has a point. You should study hard for CSAT, Wonshik, so you can graduate and get into a good University,” said their mother. It sounded like a normal gentle reminder, but for Wonshik it sounded like a threat.

“Don’t worry. I’ll study hard,” said Wonshik solemnly as he looked away from both of them.

“Study hard…so that you can leave as soon as you graduate?”

Wonshik felt that the air around him changed, that it suffocated him as the scenery blurred away. He could feel Taekwoon’s presence behind him, just him alone, and for some reason he didn’t dare to turn around.

“It’s never my intention to leave,” said Wonshik softly. “Taekwoon, I never want to—”

“Don’t sweat it; you may leave without a worry. I’ll take care of him.”

The familiar deep voice made Wonshik turned around, finding that good-looking photographer standing by Taekwoon’s side, his hands resting possessively on Taekwoon’s shoulder. Hongbin’s gaze was deep as he stared at Wonshik, all-knowing and dangerous.

“He’s right, Wonshik. I have him now. I don’t need you anymore. No, in fact, I never need such pathetic man like you,” said Taekwoon, his smile mocking and poisonous.

“ _Hyung_ —”

“Don’t call me that,” scolded Taekwoon. His piercing gaze was ice cold, a perfect copy of his mother’s expression when she warned him the last time. “We are not even related by blood,” he added, voice overlapping with his mother’s.

“Hear? He’s mine now,” said Hongbin with a mocking grin. He spun Taekwoon to face him, grabbing his chin possessively. “All mine.”

Their lips met, and Wonshik felt like screaming. But no sound came out; just a rush of pain ripping his heart apart as the world went black.

* * *

Wonshik was crying when he woke up to his alarm beeping angrily at 4 in the morning. He groaned as he forced himself to get up and turn off the alarm, all while wiping off the tears on his face. He was used to falling asleep crying, but not to waking up crying. The dream felt so real, as well as the pain in his chest.

But then again, most of it were real. The memory of his separation with Taekwoon, and the fact that he saw Taekwoon kissing that photographer Hongbin. _Twice_.

He felt like to cry again. He really should’ve known that he brought it to himself, again and again. He thought that if he chose to follow his mother and Jiwon rather than staying with his father out of pity from having his father left all alone, he could’ve avoided the whole thing—falling in love with his stepbrother, crossing the line with him, getting caught, separated, and somehow managed to meet again.

Still, what’s the use of their reunion if in the end he was already reduced to some guy Taekwoon could use just to satisfy his sexual needs? He probably got it from other guys too, that Hongbin included.

Wonshik bit his lip as he remembered the exchange he had with Hongbin and Hakyeon the other day, after Taekwoon and Junha went home. He warned the two of them to stay away from Taekwoon, but Hongbin only scoffed at him.

_“He’s the one who comes to me. What should I do? Turn him away?”_

It required his whole willpower for Wonshik not to ruin that beautiful face. Although he was beyond furious, Wonshik was still a professional who knew that they still needed Hongbin in his prime condition to finish the rest of the photoshoot. In the end he only glared at them, silently giving them a warning, before leaving the place with his manager.

His mood had been sour for the rest of the day.

Running his fingers to his freshly dyed red hair, Wonshik wondered whether he could last that day’s shoot. He just hoped that he could control his emotions better for the day. Afterwards, he’d just go on for a solo trip somewhere tropical to boost his mood.

After giving himself a nod on the quick plan, he moved to get ready for the shoot.

* * *

Taekwoon was talking to Hongbin and Hakyeon when Wonshik arrived, and he was thankful that at least he still had his shades and mask on. He knew he was scowling at them, and that would be bad if anyone saw it.

“Wow, red does look good on you,” complimented the fashion stylist with a wide smile. Wonshik removed his mask and shades to properly smile back at her, channeling out his gentleman charm.

“Is it? I’m glad to hear that. I’ll probably have to change it to black soon after this, though,” said Wonshik.

“Nooo, don’t change it! Not everyone can look good with red hair, but I think you really nailed it. Looks really good on you,” she said again. Wonshik smiled at the comment, thanking her as they went to the changing room.

“Your suits is inside. It should be easy enough to put on, but just call me if you need anything,” she said as they arrived at the room. Wonshik nodded and thanked her, then entered the room to change.

He emerged from the changing room a few moments later, going straight to the makeup station. There were some more compliments offered to him and he thanked it all with a smile. He even smiled at Hakyeon, who made a cheerful comment about how hot he looked in that red hair, as if Wonshik’s threat from the day before was nonexistent. Remembering it again made Wonshik wanted to trash the place away, but he willed himself to stay calm and professional. He would have all the time to go ape shit at Hakyeon and Hongbin later on, after they’re done with the shoot and the magazine was published.

Staring into the mirror when he’s done with the hair and makeup, he honestly couldn’t recognize himself anymore. After a very long time having his hair dyed grey, it was odd to see himself in other color. The dark brown eyeliner sharpened his usually droopy eyes, and his eyebrows were drawn so that they didn’t look so thin anymore. His beauty marks were all covered by foundation and concealers, leaving a smooth skin on the surface. And unlike how he usually let his hair down on normal days, his hair was pulled up and behind, neatly styled to show off his flawless face.

The one staring back at him from the mirror was no Kim Wonshik, but Ravi.

“How do you think?” asked Hakyeon with a satisfied smile.

“Honestly? Like a prince,” replied Wonshik with a raised eyebrow, tilting his face from side to side to see which angle would look best on him.

“Ooh, will Prince Ravi allow me into his harem?” whispered Hakyeon close. Wonshik turned his face to the side, just enough to look like he was going to kiss Hakyeon on the lips.

But he stopped at his ear and whispered just loud enough for Hakyeon and only Hakyeon to hear, “Never.”

Wonshik quickly turned away and stood up, straightening up his coat as he did so. He took a glance at the pouting Hakyeon, obviously looking upset after being played like that, and he couldn’t help but smirk.

“As you said before, I’m a terribly picky eater, N- _ssi_. You already know my exact taste, so please just stop your attempts. I’m not interested,” said Wonshik with a practiced smile.

“Even if your pick doesn’t pick you back?” teased Hakyeon. The question left a bitter taste and Wonshik’s smile faltered a bit, but he quickly composed himself and smiled even more poisonously.

“Even if there’s no one else in the entire world who desires me, I still won’t pick the two of you. Or even just one of you,” replied Wonshik. “Now if you excuse me, I have a photoshoot to do. Enjoy the view while you still can, N- _ssi_.”

* * *

Taekwoon was glad that this time he managed to arrive pretty much at the right time. He wasn’t too early, so the incident like he fell asleep while waiting for everyone to come didn’t happen. Yet, he still came earlier than Junha, and got the chance to talk to Hongbin about the photoshoot.

“Isn’t this a special Ravi edition, though? Why are you asking me?” asked Hongbin back when Taekwoon approached him about the photoshoot. Taekwoon shrugged at that.

“I want to hear your opinion as the photographer, I guess. You’re the one who managed to capture those pictures after all,” said Taekwoon. Hongbin raised his eyebrows as he fiddled with his camera.

“Honestly? I can feel that Ravi- _ssi_ is still trying to hide his true self yesterday, despite the theme of the shoot being his ‘true self’. It’s like he knew precisely what people are expecting from him—not from the Kim Wonshik you know personally, but as Ravi of _GROOVL1N_. The ‘true self’ he was projecting yesterday was still one of the masks he uses,” explained Hongbin. He then turned his sight to Taekwoon, making the writer stared back at him in confusion.

“Your presence, though. Those test photos, and some of the ones taken after the lunch break… They captured a sliver of his ‘true self’ that seeped out through the cracks of his mask,” added Hongbin. Taekwoon scoffed at that. True self? Crack on his mask? It sounded like a joke.

“I don’t see what my presence has to do with whatever it is you said,” quipped Taekwoon.

“You’re the one who make those cracks on his mask. Whatever the so-called ‘insignificant’ thing happening between you two, it clearly makes Wonshik feel safe enough to reveal himself to you. You can deny it as much as you like, but what I see from my lens is like that. You are his ultimate weakness, whether any of you want it or not,” said Hongbin. Taekwoon only rolled his eyes and shook his head at that.

Just when Taekwoon was about to argue more, Junha arrived, and he bluntly went to Hongbin to ask what he’s expecting from the upcoming shoot. It made Taekwoon felt irritated, so he simply walked away to wait for the shoot to start as he continued his draft.

So far, what he had was jumbled and scattered all over the place. He just dumped in everything he thought to be interesting and decided to edit everything later, but then his writing had become too messy to clean up.

It then hit him that he hadn’t talked much to Wonshik about the shoot at all. He saw Junha actively chatting with him after the shoot, but for some reason he seemed to avoid Taekwoon. Even after he’s done talking with Junha, he simply went back with his manager since he had to have his hair done. As for Taekwoon, he was too hungry to even think about bothering Wonshik in his apartment, so he simply went to his favorite food stall and returned to his own apartment.

Thinking that he should do extensive interview with Wonshik later to make up for the one on the previous day, Taekwoon began to look around for a familiar silver hair.

“The shoot is about to start; everyone please clear the set,” announce one of the staffs. Taekwoon was startled at the sudden loud voice, but he was also confused since he hadn’t seen anyone with silver hair coming into the set.

But when Taekwoon had his eyes on the set, he finally remembered why he didn’t find it. He forgot that Wonshik had his hair dyed deep red for the current theme, and it made him looked really different than before. The way he made red hair looked regal instead of rebellious would always be a mystery for Taekwoon.

Just like the day before, Hongbin explained to him about what kind of image he was looking for in that shot. As the camera started to work and the screen started flashing out the preview images, Taekwoon could see just how natural and effortless Wonshik pulled his looks. It’s easy to believe that he’s a royal prince, coming into live from inside a fairy tale book.

Yet, the more Taekwoon saw it, the more he recognized the kind of smile Wonshik wore in that shoot. It was the one he used in his dramas, the one laced with so much sugar and honey and everything nice.

It was the smile ‘Ravi’ gave, not Wonshik.

“It’s scary how he looks much more in his element today, than in yesterday’s shoot,” commented Junha, who finally seemed to think that it’s a good idea to talk to Taekwoon about the shoot.

“He’s a natural actor, I guess,” said Taekwoon with a shrug.

“Still… Think about it; yesterday’s shoot was about him showing his true self, while today’s supposed to be about his side as a celebrity. And yet, it appears like yesterday’s is the mask and today’s is the true self. Isn’t it scary?” commented Junha.

Taekwoon couldn’t find a word to reply. He thought again about the drama he watched together with Wonshik, and how he noticed how different the ‘Ravi’ on screen compared to the ‘Wonshik’ sitting by his side.

As he stared at the newly taken picture, where Wonshik was smiling gently as he offered a glass of wine to the camera, Taekwoon once again questioned about how long until ‘Ravi’ consumed ‘Wonshik’ entirely.


	11. Chapter 11

The morning after photoshoot was always tiring for Wonshik. He was thankful that at the very least, it went smoothly with only little to no hitch. But then again, although the shoot was quite smooth, whatever happened afterwards actually wasn’t.

During the shoot, there was a bit of commotion when Taekwoon refused to lend his hand, but it was resolved quickly with Wonshik asking Hakyeon to do it in Taekwoon’s stead. He regretted it a little when he saw just how gleeful Hakyeon was to take that offer, but at least Park- _nim_ was satisfied with the shot, even more when Hongbin mentioned that he could replace Hakyeon’s hand with Taekwoon’s he had from the shot before to make both pictures more uniform.

It should have ended nicely like that, but unfortunately it didn’t. Although it was Taekwoon who refused to be photographed, he was also the one acting all pouty and annoyed with the fact that Wonshik could easily replace him with Hakyeon. And he acted like that for the rest of the day, even when they went out for a meal to celebrate a photoshoot well done.

That meal was how things went wrong.

Due to the style of the seats, they were separated into several groups of 6. Daetuk quickly pulled Wonshik to sit with him since he still couldn’t trust Wonshik not to be completely wasted in celebratory meal like that. The two lovebirds, Hongbin and Hakyeon, wasted no time to sit with them simply because they wanted to. Looking at the current ensemble, Junha senselessly dragged Taekwoon with him to join their table.

At that time, even if Taekwoon was angry at him in a way or another, he still pushed Junha off so he could sit next to Wonshik, forcing the elder writer to sit across him right beside Hakyeon. Wonshik felt a bit smug about it, but he didn’t say anything about it—not yet, not with Junha and Daetuk sitting with them and could freely hear whatever Wonshik had to say to Taekwoon.

So, Wonshik planned to make Daetuk so wasted he passed out, and it seemed that Taekwoon also had the same plan for Junha. Hakyeon and Hongbin, of course, knew what they’re doing and played along with the plan. With Hongbin’s refreshing smile and Hakyeon’s persistence, they managed to make Daetuk and Junha passed out from drinking too much.

Though, in the process, Hakyeon got pretty wasted and started running his mouth without any filters. It’s a good thing that Daetuk and Junha were already out.

“Raaavv, you said you won’t pick me up even if the whole human race is wiped out, but you actually pick me, huh?” slurred Hakyeon as he giggled and clung to Hongbin, who continued to eat as if he didn’t have a grown-ass man hugging him like a koala.

“That’s just a photoshoot, and it’s just your hand. Don’t get your hopes too high,” replied Wonshik nonchalantly.

“You still pick me though,” said Hakyeon with a giggle, then he accentuated it with a sing-song of ‘pick me pick me pick me up’.

“Should you be discussing that with me when your boyfriend’s right beside you?” asked Wonshik rhetorically, and Hongbin snorted at that.

“You should be worrying about that when you asked him to model with you, especially when you know that his boyfriend is the one photographing you both, and your boyfriend watching both of you after refusing to be photographed with you,” said Hongbin. That had Taekwoon choked on his soju-beer mixture.

“Hongbin- _ssi_ , we’re not—”

“Taekwoon- _hyung_ and I aren’t dating, unlike you and Hakyeon,” said Wonshik lightly, perhaps too lightly, as he took a sip of his drink.

The words sounded so cold it made Taekwoon sobered up instantly.

“Oh,” said Hongbin while raising both of his eyebrows, “I thought you’re a couple or some sort, sorry.”

“Well then it doesn’t make sense!! If you’re fucking single, why do you _always_ refuse my invitation to fuck with me _and_ Hongbin? Buy one get one free. Super deal,” protested Hakyeon as he slammed the table repeatedly, making Hongbin quickly grabbed his wrist so he wouldn’t make more commotion.

“And I’ve told you, you’re not my type,” replied Wonshik annoyedly. He then turned his gaze to Hongbin, scowling deeply, “You’re good-looking, but you’re also not my type. So, shoo. Bring your pervert boyfriend with you.”

“I’m more interested in Taekwoon- _ssi_ , though,” said Hongbin with a half-smirk, showing one of his dimples, and Wonshik was really contemplating about punching him square in the face.

“Back off,” warned Wonshik with a burning glare.

“Oh, but you’re not dating him, so why do you care?” said Hongbin nonchalantly. He then turned his focus to Taekwoon and smiled. “You know where to find me and Hakyeon, don’t you, Taekwoon- _ssi_?”

Wonshik already curled his fist and gritted his teeth, but then Taekwoon softly placed a hand on that tense fist and Wonshik could feel most of his anger dissipating instantly.

“What Hongbin- _ssi_ said is right; you’re not my boyfriend, so why do you care?” said Taekwoon coldly.

The situation, and the question spoken so harshly like that, brought Wonshik back to his nightmare. He could feel the pain, the wound in his heart that ripped up wider and wider as the seconds passed.

In the end, he did what he could best; hiding his pain behind a sweet smile.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s not my business at all,” said Wonshik with a nod. He then looked down at his hand that was still curling under Taekwoon’s, and quickly pulled it away as he stood.

“Anyway I feel tired already, so I’ll be going now. I’ll call someone to pick up Daetuk- _hyung_ and the car; don’t worry. Thanks for your hard work,” said Wonshik quickly as he made an exit.

He didn’t look back even once, half-running outside and quickly caught a taxi to drive him home. On the way, he called another manager from his company to pick up his drunken manager, thanking him and promising him a meal as a token of gratitude.

Once he reached his apartment, he sank down to the floor with his back pressing against the door. He wasn’t even running with all his might there, only walking with a quick pace, but he felt like he had been running a marathon. He took deep breaths, trying hard to steady his own heart rate and breathing, although he had finally given up on holding his tears and let them flowed freely down his cheeks.

He sat there for a few minutes, until he could feel his legs again and finally took wobbly steps towards his own bed. Curling like a baby in the middle of his bed, he cried alone until sleepiness greeted him.

And there he was, in the morning after, with terrible headache both from crying too much and the alcohol, and the stiff body that felt like it’s made of lead. He laid still as he let the memories from last night flooded his mind, letting his tears to trickle down to his bed sheet again.

After his body didn’t feel too much like he had just been hit by a truck, he slowly got up and walked towards the kitchen. He opened one of the many drawers on the kitchen counter and swallowed some pills to help with the headache. He grimaced at the bitterness, and quickly opened his fridge to see whether he still had some hangover drink or not.

What he found was several bottles of it, and a plastic container filled with some kind of soup, with a note attached to the lid. Wonshik carefully took the container and one of the bottles, then placed the container on the kitchen counter as he slowly read the note.

_‘I don’t know when you’ll wake up, so I put this in the fridge. It’s hangover soup I got from my favorite stall. Just heat it up when you want to eat it._

_From Taekwoon’_

Wonshik scoffed at the message as he cracked open the cap of the hangover drink. He emptied it quickly, then he read again the note with a small smile playing on his lips.

Then, wordlessly, he crushed the note in his hand. He threw it out along with the empty bottle and the hangover soup Taekwoon left for him.

“We’re not brothers, and we’re not dating. So why the hell do you care?” he mumbled as he walked towards his unit’s door, fiddling with the touchpad beside the door to change the lock password.

As soon as he verified the new password, he felt like he was doing a very childish thing. But then again, for the time being, he thought that it was probably the best thing to do.

Walking tiredly towards the bathroom, he thought about turning off his phone and sleep the day out to make himself feel better.

* * *

The first thing Taekwoon noticed when he woke up was his digital clock showing that it’s already way past his usual waking up time. Groaning, he stretched himself on the bed before searching around for his phone. With a quick glance, he noticed that the message he was waiting for still hadn’t arrived. He got a message from Hongbin, asking about whether he had arrived safely at home or not, and he swiped the notification away. There was one from Junha too, thanking him for helping him return home, and Taekwoon swiped it away too.

He opened the chat application and tapped the conversation he had with Wonshik. The last string of messages were still the ones he sent, the ones voicing his concern and asking the younger to contact him once he woke up. But there was no response, and it seemed that Wonshik didn’t even read the messages.

Sighing, Taekwoon rolled on the bed and stared up at the ceiling. What happened during the dinner was quite messed up, he thought. He honestly felt childish for blurting out such words to Wonshik, although he also thought that it’s not entirely his fault. Wonshik was the first one to say that they’re not dating after all. He only followed up what the younger said.

Still, the hurt and heartbreak reflected in those eyes were so painful it broke his own heart as well.

And Wonshik, the ever so good with acting Wonsik, covered it up quickly like he thought that Taekwoon wouldn’t notice it—wouldn’t see through his well-made mask.

But as always, Taekwoon saw him well.

He already stood up, ready to chase Wonshik, when suddenly Junha groaned loudly and raised his head.

"Wha… what time is it?" asked Junha, his words slurring together as if it was just one really long word.

"Still 11PM," replied Hongbin nonchalantly. Junha scowled deeply at that, and then he tried to stand up from his seat.

"Gotta go home… Gotta write soon…" he mumbled as he staggered.

Feeling a bit guilty about that, Taekwoon ended up getting up and helped Junha to stand.

"I'll see you home. Come on, _Hyung_. Don't die here just yet," said Taekwoon as he pulled Junha and let the elder writer to lean to him.

"Well then, I'll get going now. Until next time," said Taekwoon with a nod. Hongbin waved at him with a small smile, while Hakyeon was grinning widely and bid his goodbye a little too loudly.

Taekwoon's initial plan was to leave Junha to the taxi driver so he could go to Wonshik's place faster. But Junha was too wasted and Taekwoon feared that he'd be robbed while still being intoxicated, so in the end he stayed all the way until they reached Junha's apartment. He managed to make Junha awake enough to input his access code, and he simply dropped him on the couch to pass out again.

“Taekwoon… Woonie, be good to your _hyung_ and let my article get published, mmkay?” mumbled Junha as he waved to Taekwoon.

“Why should I?” asked Taekwoon, partially annoyed. He wasn’t exactly planning to do his best on the article, but Junha’s request sparked his inner don’t-want-to-lose spirit a bit.

“This is supposed to be my job… my life… But Park- _nim_ favors your writing when it comes to Ravi- _ssi_ ,” replied Junha, his words slurring a bit. “I’m afraid. I fear that I’ll lose this job.”

“Then shouldn’t you write better than me?” retorted Taekwoon. Junha chuckled at that.

“I know I write better than you; I’m just less favored,” said Junha with a bitter giggle. Taekwoon waited for him to elaborate, but all he heard was just soft snore, signalling that Junha had gone to dreamland.

Sighing loudly, Taekwoon gave him a light kick before going out. He texted Junha as he walked out from the building, telling him to text him back once he woke up just to make sure that he’s not dead.

On his way back to his own apartment, he walked past the soup restaurant he frequented to. At first he simply walked away, but then he remembered Wonshik’s hasty exit and turned around to buy a portion of hangover soup. He stopped by a minimarket and got several bottles of hangover drinks too, then turned towards Wonshik’s apartment.

Honestly, Taekwoon expected that Wonshik would be sleeping already. It was late, Wonshik drank more than him, and the photoshoot lasted 2 days after all. He thought that he’d be more surprised if Wonshik was still awake.

As expected, Wonshik was already lying down on his bed when Taekwoon entered. Carefully, he put the drinks and soup into the fridge to be eaten later. He then approached the bed, planning to move Wonshik a little so he could lay down with him too, but then he heard the soft sniffle coming from his figure.

Then, slowly, he took a better look of the younger’s condition. He was still wearing the clothes he wore before, not even bothering to change into tee and shorts or strip down to his boxer like he usually preferred when the temperature was warm enough. He also seemed to be curling in fetal position, softly sniffling with tears still flowing on his cheeks.

Taekwoon knew that posture; he had seen it once before. It was the night after they stored the ashes of Wonshik’s dad to the columbarium. Wonshik hadn’t been crying in front of their family members and other visitors, doing his duty as his father’s firstborn son. He even let Taekwoon cried on his shoulder, and still not a drop of tears wet his cheeks. But that night, after he didn’t have to pretend to be strong in front of everyone, he let all those tears fell.

Wonshik’s current posture was a repeat of that night’s. But this time, Taekwoon knew that he was the cause of those tears, so he didn’t dare to repeat what he did back then. He didn’t wake Wonshik up and kissed him until he stopped crying. Instead, he left the place quietly, only leaving a note with the food he brought and several texts for Wonshik to call him after he woke up.

And so there he was, in his own bed alone instead of staying with Wonshik, waiting for his reply like an idiot.

Sighing loudly, Taekwoon forced himself to get up and had a shower. He had his breakfast while editing his article, and he was reminded of what Junha told him about giving up on it. Taekwoon rolled his eyes as he remembered it, then continued with his current work.

Around lunch time, Taekwoon checked again for any messages from Wonshik. There’s still none, and it started to make Taekwoon worry. After a little pondering, Taekwoon decided to call Wonshik instead. All three of his attempts ended up in voicemail, and Taekwoon started to feel irritated.

After his fifth call ended up in voicemail too, Taekwoon went to Wonshik’s apartment.

* * *

Taekwoon had been trying three more times while he was on the way to Wonshik’s apartment, and none gave him any result. He was feeling pissed when he arrived, pressing the numbers with more force than was necessary.

When the lock flashed red, Taekwoon scrunched his eyebrows. Although he was angry, he was sure that he typed in the right password. He tried once again, more carefully, and yet the light was still red.

Wonshik had changed his unit’s password, that’s for sure.

Taekwoon tried again to call Wonshik’s number, but no avail. He tried knocking too, but the younger was either out or ignoring him.

With one last mighty slam to the mockingly firm door, Taekwoon turned around and stomped back to the elevator. He was so mad he didn’t wait for the person inside to come out first, shoving his way in while the other person avoided him like he’s crazy.

Leaning back to the steel wall after pressing the button for the ground floor, Taekwoon sighed exasperatedly. Was Wonshik really mad for what happened the night before? He didn’t know, and he wouldn’t know if Wonshik kept ghosting on him like that.

“What the fuck do you really want, huh?” grumbled Taekwoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back after 1 month of no update at all ||||orz work hasn't been that kind lately...


	12. Chapter 12

There were some things that were inevitable in the world, and the circumstances forced Wonshik to see Taekwoon again in the meeting for his special edition magazine. He had been succeeding to avoid the elder for the past week—ignoring his calls and texts and the knocking on his door—but eventually all those efforts went to drain the moment he stepped into the magazine’s meeting room.

He could see resentment in Taekwoon’s eyes, but it oddly felt good. If he couldn’t be loved, then he preferred to be hated instead. Rather than being unsure about what they felt about each other, it’s better to be sure that they disliked one another.

Although, for Wonshik, it would be a lie if he said that he disliked Taekwoon.

“The reason why I’m requesting this meeting is because we have an announcement regarding the writer of your essay,” said Park- _nim_ straightforwardly after everyone had gathered, “Writer Jung has forfeited from the competition, so the essay we’re going to use is the one Writer Lee made. I have read the whole piece and I can assure you that it meets the standards of both _Gesture_ magazine and _GROOVL1N_.”

“I have no problem with that,” said Kang- _nim_ with an approving nod. Since the very beginning, he opposed the idea of having Taekwoon to write the essay anyway, so of course he was the first one to be happy over the fact that Taekwoon couldn’t complete his task.

“May I ask why Taekwoon- _ssi_ forfeits, though?” asked Hongbin. Kang- _nim_ was obviously giving him a stinking look, but he ignored it completely. Park- _nim_ raised her eyebrows at the question and tilted her head to Taekwoon, who understood that she wouldn’t be answering a question addressed to him.

“Writer’s block,” said Taekwoon flatly, “I can’t find a good flow and words to use, so I just give up.”

Wonshik internally snorted at that. He was sure that it’s a total bullshit, but he said nothing about it yet. Hongbin didn’t seem to buy the lie either, but Taekwoon’s glare seemed to shut him up pretty effectively, so he didn’t ask any further questions.

“Ravi- _ssi_? You’re the one who suggested for Writer Jung and Writer Lee to compete for the right to write your essay. Do you have any words about this?” asked Park- _nim_. Wonshik was quick to pick up the business smile he always wore and shook his head at her question.

“If Kang- _nim_ has no problem with it, then I have none too. It can’t be helped after all,” replied Wonshik.

Just like that, the matter on who wrote the essay was resolved. It was then Hongbin’s turn to present the pictures he had cleaned up and edited to be reviewed further. Taekwoon tried to excuse himself since he probably felt that he no longer had any business with the current team, but Park- _nim_ made him stay. She said something along the line of having more eyes to judge was better, and so he stayed.

Hongbin started with the picture Park- _nim_ requested to be the opening piece, and it was no other than the Hades version of Ravi looking up to Taekwoon with the look of total devotion, and it silenced the whole room. They were awed by the rare expression reflected in Wonshik’s eyes, and Hongbin’s skill to both capture and amplify it to the fullest.

It made Wonshik felt really sick, looking how openly he displayed himself in that picture.

“Sorry, can I use the toilet? No need to wait for me, though; I trust Kang- _nim_ ’s judgement completely,” asked Wonshik. Kang- _nim_ nodded at that, and Junha gave him the direction to the nearest toilet available. With a quick bow, he quickly exited the room.

Once he reached the toilet, he locked himself inside one of the stalls. He sat on the closed bowl and sighed tiredly. He shouldn’t have agreed to the idea in the first place, he thought. Or at the very least, he should have looked further to what kind of shoots Hongbin usually did. Hakyeon, that super chatty Hakyeon who could never shut up about his boyfriend, Wonshik thought that he should have listened more to his super long babble on Hongbin and his aesthetics. He never listened because he wasn’t interested, wasn’t going to give him any positive signals about the whole threesome thing he had been offering since day one. But it sort of backfired to him when Taekwoon came into the equation.

_Taekwoon._

Remembering him made Wonshik sighed again. The elder man was probably the very source of his current stress. No, he had been the main reason of his stress for the last eight years. But he knew he couldn’t blame it on Taekwoon. It was his own fault for falling into such a complicated situation.

There were some footsteps outside, and it pulled Wonshik away from his own thoughts. Thinking that he’d just pretend to have a stomach ache and excused himself home, he stood up and unlocked the bathroom stall—

—And met face to face with Taekwoon, who quickly pushed the shocked Wonshik back into the stall and locked it again.

“What is it that you actually want, Kim Wonshik?” asked Taekwoon without giving Wonshik any chance to speak first.

“What are you talking about?” asked Wonshik, completely lost about what Taekwoon was saying. Taekwoon clicked his tongue in irritation and rolled his eyes.

“You. You change your passcode, and then avoid me for the whole _week_. What’s your problem? Is it because I return the words you said to you? That we’re not even boyfriends? Are you mad at me?” replied Taekwoon.

There were a whole lot of things Wonshik could say in reply to Taekwoon’s question. He could choose just anything; from being a totally heartbroken truth to the calm and composed lie laced with pure sugar. But among those options, the one he picked was probably the most bitter and harsh one.

“Why do you care? We’re not boyfriends. We’re not even brothers anymore. We’re just… strangers. You’re a writer and I’m a model who happen to know each other in the past, and that’s it,” said Wonshik.

He felt oddly calm as he said those words, as if he didn’t stab his own heart and let it bleed out saying it. It felt bitter in his tongue, probably more bitter than the parting words he said six years ago.

The look on Taekwoon’s face, though; the look of shock and heartbreak he hadn’t seen in the longest time. His pretty pink lips were quivering, opening slightly as if he were about to say something. But those parted lips closed again, cutting off the unspoken words.

“I see,” whispered Taekwoon. His voice was trembling, and it looked like he was trying so hard to hold his tears. “So that’s what you want? Us being strangers? Alright, good, whatever. Let’s be strangers.”

 _‘Well we have become strangers since we parted ways six fucking years ago,’_ Wonshik thought. He wanted to say it out loud, but for some reason his lips were sealed. He just watched as Taekwoon glared at him with glossy eyes.

“Don’t fucking hope that you’ll see my face ever again,” hissed Taekwoon before he turned around, unlocking the bathroom stall and stomped away.

Exhaling the breathe he didn’t realize he had been holding, Wonshik felt like his head was spinning. He felt sick, really sick, and so he slumped to the stall’s wall as he struggled to fish out his phone.

Once his call was connected, he quickly said without even pausing to greet, “ _Hyung_ , I need a ride home. I feel really sick.”

He didn’t even wait for his manager’s response before cutting off the call, waiting while squatting inside that bathroom stall like some hangover drunkard. He counted the seconds until Daetuk came and helped him stood, carefully guiding him down to the parking lot and into the passenger seat before buckling himself to the driver’s and drove away.

“Were you drinking or something?” asked Daetuk as he glanced at Wonshik through the rearview mirror.

“No. Just a bit of a stomach ache. I think I drank expired milk this morning. I’ve thrown it all up earlier, though,” said Wonshik, lying so easily as he leaned back to the car’s seat.

“Please be more careful next time, Ravi- _ssi_ … Kang- _nim_ already looked mildly pissed when I asked for his permission to take you back home,” said Daetuk. Wonshik only hummed in reply, closing his eyes for a little nap.

“Do you need to go to hospital instead? To have yourself checked?” offered Daetuk. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head slightly.

“I’ll be fine after some rest. But if it gets worse, I’ll be sure to call you,” replied Wonshik.

Daetuk said something in return, probably his usual teasing of how Wonshik caused so much problem for him he needed a raise, but Wonshik wasn’t really listening.

* * *

Taekwoon didn’t return to the meeting room after he left in a rush following Wonshik’s exit. Hongbin was curious, but he still had to present his works and noted down any revisions they wanted him to do, so he stayed and did his job dutifully. At times like that, he wished Hakyeon was with him so he could ask him to follow them and listened to the juicy gossip afterwards, but his boyfriend was currently away for his own job in some fashion photoshoot hours and hours away from him.

His curiosity level only got higher when Wonshik’s manager exited the room too after whispering something to the CEO of _GROOVL1N_. He suspected that something was going on with Wonshik, or even with him _and_ Taekwoon, but he still couldn’t leave to check what it was actually.

If Hongbin was to be completely honest, he would say that the CEO guy had no taste and that other writer guy didn’t know what he’s talking about. He was probably biased, but that writer guy’s article was really bland. It’s a generic shit written just to please that CEO guy, not to expose Wonshik’s inner part like how Taekwoon did it with his previous articles. All they did was to shape up this ‘Ravi’ persona that the public knew rather than smashing it down.

But then again, that’s probably why Taekwoon was forced to step down from the competition. He really wasn’t buying it when Taekwoon said that he had a writer’s block earlier. _Someone_ was probably threatening him to stop or receive the consequences. Still, Hongbin’s gut feeling said that the person who did it wasn’t the Chief Editor. She seemed to have the same vision with Hongbin, the same desire to cut open a person’s thick mask and reveal what’s really inside.

After the long discussion and a whole lot of self-restraint not to pour water on that CEO guy every time he picked the boring pictures Hongbin liked the least, finally the meeting was over and everyone was dismissed. The Chief Editor was kind enough to tell Hongbin that any further tweaking would be done by the magazine’s design team if he allowed it. Some photographers would probably offer to do all the work by themselves but not with Hongbin. He preferred to get more sleep and more time to work on his personal project so he gave his permission without thinking too much.

He checked his phone as he got out, smiling a little at the pictures Hakyeon sent him. The models he was working with were beautiful, but they all looked so-so compared to the smiling Hakyeon beside them.

> **_Chadolbaegi ♡_ ** **_  
>  _ ** _Anyone you fancy from these?_

Hongbin chuckled at the message, knowing just what Hakyeon was implying. With a little head shake, Hongbin quickly typed his reply.

> _Hmm, the guy with royal milk tea skin that keeps on appearing in the pictures looks really fine, can I have his number?_

There was only a short pause until a reply popped up on the screen, and Hongbin couldn’t stop grinning as he read it.

> **_Chadolbaegi ♡_ ** **_  
>  _ ** _Sure thing! Lemme ask the number~_ _  
>  _ _Oh no wait that’s me! And you already have my number!_ _  
>  _ _Just give me a call when you’re ready for me, babe~_

He chuckled at the reply, and was about to type some snarky remark when he caught Taekwoon's figure from the corner of his eye. As if being pulled by invisible string, Hongbin turned his focus from the phone in his hand to the man sitting alone at the window table. Taekwoon seemed to be distressed somehow, and Hongbin could no longer hold his curiosity back.

So there he was, inside the café, sitting across Taekwoon with a cup of warm tea in hand.

For the first five minutes since Taekwoon allowed Hongbin to sit with him, the writer didn't say a word. He simply glared at his coffee, pouting as he fiddled with his own fingers.

"Do you want to talk at somewhere more private? At our apartment, maybe? Hakyeon is currently out for a job today, so it'll be just the two of us," offered Hongbin. Taekwoon chewed his lower lip before nodding slowly in reply. They quickly finished their drinks, and caught a taxi to bring them to Hakyeon and Hongbin's apartment.

The development Hongbin expected was for Taekwoon to cry as soon as they got in. Apparently his guess was only half correct, since Taekwoon was also kissing him feverishly as he let his tears flowed freely down his face.

It was clear as day that Taekwoon had a heated argument with Wonshik earlier, and that he wasn't exactly in his right mind as he pulled up Hongbin's shirt, but it was difficult for Hongbin to think straight at that moment. So rather than trying to think about the whole thing, Hongbin chose to just let Taekwoon to lead the situation.

If Taekwoon ended up regretting whatever they're about to do… Well, that's his problem, not Hongbin's.

* * *

Someone was ringing Wonshik's unit bell but Wonshik wasn't really in the mood to have any guests. Still, whoever this visitor was, they're very persistent and Wonshik just gave up trying to ignore it. From the security camera he installed on the door, he saw that his guest was none other than Cha Hakyeon.

With an almighty sigh, Wonshik pressed the intercom button to speak with Hakyeon.

"Whatever it is, I'm not interested," said Wonshik.

"Hey, don't be so mean like that! Let me stay with you for a bit. I can't go home right now, so please have some pity," said Hakyeon.

Wonshik frowned at the reply, and he was thinking hard about the possibility of Hakyeon lying to him. But Hakyeon's next words made him unlocked and opened his door inhumanely fast.

"I've been sexiled by my own boyfriend… and Taekwoon."


	13. Chapter 13

“You okay?” asked Hongbin as he handed a glass of water to Taekwoon. Taekwoon accepted it with a low thanks, eyes scanning the floor for the clothes he dropped somewhere. Hongbin seemed to notice what he was doing, opening his drawer and pulled out a white shirt and a pack of disposable underwear to be handed out to Taekwoon.

“Just wear this for the time being. I’ll wash your clothes real quick,” said Hongbin after Taekwoon stared confusedly at him and the shirt.

“No need, I’ll leave right away,” refused Taekwoon as he put down the almost empty glass on the night table.

“Are you really in the condition to walk? Don’t be ridiculous. Rest some more; I’ll wash your clothes,” said Hongbin as he placed the shirt and the underwear on the pillow beside Taekwoon, then went away to collect their discarded clothes.

Taekwoon sank back to the pillow, watching as Hongbin walked out to the washing room. Sighing in defeat, he picked up the shirt and underwear and put them on. He hated to admit that Hongbin was right, he was sore from the waist down, and it would be uncomfortable for him to return home in that condition. Still, it wasn’t his first time doing it so hard it made him grumbling constantly for days, so what Hongbin did was pretty much unnecessary.

“Are you always like this to your fuck buddies or what?” asked Taekwoon when Hongbin returned from the washing room.

“Depends, I guess? But you seem emotionally unstable, so I want you to stay a bit more. I’ve told Hakyeon to come back a bit later too, so don’t worry,” said Hongbin as he plopped down to bed next to Taekwoon. Taekwoon snorted at what he said.

“You sexiled your own boyfriend for… what, a one-night-stand?” teased Taekwoon. Hongbin only shrugged at that.

“He sexiled me several times too, so it’s pretty even,” said Hongbin nonchalantly. He then stared at Taekwoon and continued, “Also, you seem to have a lot to talk about, without any presence of other people. So while you’re here and the clothes are still in the washing machine, let’s talk.”

Taekwoon’s gaze grew cold and his lips were tightly shut, and it should be a clear indication for Hongbin that he didn’t want to talk. Still, the photographer pushed forward. “Does it have to do with Ravi- _ssi_? No, actually, I’m curious… What’s your relationship with him, exactly?”

Staring down at his lap, Taekwoon carefully thought about his answer. Should he revealed the truth, or should he let it concealed? Their relationship as step-brothers wasn’t exactly a scandal or anything anyway.

The fact that they slept with each other, though… That’s a completely different case.

Soft touch on his cheek pulled Taekwoon away from his own thoughts. Hongbin had scooted closer, and he was softly caressing Taekwoon’s cheek, giving him reassurance.

“You can tell me anything; I won’t judge. I mean, what I have with Hakyeon and numerous other third player is pretty fucked up already. What would be worse, right?” said Hongbin with a smirk.

That moment Taekwoon thought that, screw it, he’d just tell Hongbin the whole truth.

“Ravi—no, Wonshik is… He was my step-brother,” said Taekwoon, completely serious. Hongbin hummed in reply, his hand still softly caressing Taekwoon’s cheek.

“And… we’re also fucking each other.”

* * *

“What the hell?!” exclaimed Hakyeon as he heard the big reveal from Wonshik. He was trying to see if the red-haired man in front of him was lying, but the look in his eyes said that he was completely serious.

“Wow… and here I thought what I have with Hongbin is already complicated,” commented Hakyeon as he took a sip of his warm tea. “But seriously? You’re fucking your own step-brother? What’s your parents’ reaction?”

“What else do you think? His mother was furious. She told my mother to take me back… She can’t stay under the same roof with the devil who tempted her innocent son, or something. My mother also doesn’t want her only son to live under the same roof with the witch that stole her husband and the witch’s son who ruined me, sort of. So I returned to my mother’s family, and was forbidden to come in contact with Taekwoon- _hyung_. No, even now, I’m forbidden from doing it. I simply don’t listen to it anymore,” explained Wonshik as he leaned back to the couch. Why he was even talking about it all to Hakyeon, he still couldn’t fully understand it.

But the way Hakyeon was looking at him with sympathy, along with the soft stroke of his thumb against the back of Wonshik’s hand felt quite nice. It felt good to have someone to talk to about what he couldn’t tell anyone else.

“So… You two, you love each other romantically?” asked Hakyeon. Wonshik sighed loudly as he shrugged.

“It seems that the ‘romantic love’ is more one-sided, from me to him. Maybe he used to like me too, back when we still lived together, but I’m not sure about now. Now is… more like me chasing him around like some kind of sick stalker,” said Wonshik.

“Well, are you?” asked Hakyeon again.

“What?” asked Wonshik back with a deep frown.

“Stalking him? I mean, if you are, you’ll probably be at our apartment instead of brooding here like some sort of lovesick teenager,” replied Hakyeon nonchalantly. Wonshik scowled deeper at that.

“I’m not taking chances of seeing or hearing whatever it is that I don’t want to know, him having sex with your boyfriend or whatever,” grumbled Wonshik.

“Oh, but _real_ stalkers will do that. And probably will break down the door to ‘save’ Taekwoonie from the big bad wolf. But you don’t do that, so… You’re no stalker. Just a big baby with severe lovesickness,” teased Hakyeon. Wonshik clicked his tongue at that, pulling away his hand that Hakyeon had been caressing. Hakyeon chuckled at his reaction, delighted to see just how childish a jealous Wonshik was.

“Anyway, now that he already has a taste of my beloved Hongbin, why don’t you let me taste you as well? We’re not used to foursome but I can probably ask Hongbin to consider it,” offered Hakyeon nonchalantly, as if he was offering a piece of candy instead of some weird arrangement for sex. Wonshik scrunched his face in disgust as he heard it.

“No, thanks. I can live with the fact that Taekwoon- _hyung_ fucked other people, but I’m not touching anyone other than him. I’ve told you I’m a picky eater,” refused Wonshik firmly.

“But why!! Heavens, you’re so stubborn!” exclaimed Hakyeon exasperatedly. “He had slept with so many people, why do you have to keep yourself exclusively his?”

“Because I don’t care!” exclaimed Wonshik back. “I don’t care about how many people he had slept with. I don’t care that I’m not the only one for him. I just…” Wonshik exhaled, running his fingers through his fiery red hair. “I know I’m his first. And I want to be his last too. I don’t care about what happened in-between.”

“Then you shouldn’t care about who you slept with in-between too,” commented Hakyeon with a shrug. Wonshik rolled his eyes and sighed loudly.

“And I’ve told you, I don’t want to. I only want Taekwoon- _hyung_ ; end of discussion,” said Wonshik.

“How if he doesn’t want you to be his last?” asked Hakyeon. It could sound like a teasing, but his eyes were serious. Wonshik knew that he was, and he just quietly stared back at him as he thought about his answer.

“Then… what can I say? Nothing else I can do but to accept that answer,” replied Wonshik quietly. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears, making him looked vulnerable just like in that Hades photoshoot.

“You… really love him, huh?” asked Hakyeon, feeling pitiful towards Wonshik.

“Yeah…” replied Wonshik softly, “Yeah, I love him.”

* * *

How Hakyeon managed to convince Wonshik to drive him back to his and Hongbin’s apartment was a mystery. But Hakyeon guessed that it had something to do with him being a good listener to Wonshik’s woe, and how Wonshik was generally a good guy.

“Anyway… Hongbin is currently looking for a model for his upcoming showcase. And before you ask, yes he has me as his model, but he’s also looking for a few more for variation. Would you like to consider it?” asked Hakyeon.

“For professional jobs like that, you have to go through my agency. I doubt that they’ll agree, though,” replied Wonshik flatly.

“That’s why I’m offering this to you directly. If it’s impossible for ‘Ravi’ to accept it, how about ‘Kim Wonshik’? Is it possible?” asked Hakyeon again. Wonshik snorted and chuckled at that, shaking his head in disbelief.

“What the hell, _Hyung_ , both are me so you know the answer… But yeah, I’ll think about it. Just tell your boyfriend to make the proposal and whatnot, and I’ll review it,” said Wonshik.

They stopped in front of the apartment building, but Hakyeon didn’t immediately got off since the safety belt was somewhat stuck. With a low chuckle, Wonshik gave him a hand. He carefully angled the latch plate as he pressed the buckle’s button, then shook the latch a little as he pulled it off.

“Seems that I have to have it repaired or something; it’s stuck like that too often for my liking,” commented Wonshik.

“Thanks for letting me crash at your place, and for the ride too. Just call me whenever you want, okay? And do consider my offer before,” said Hakyeon as he opened the car’s door.

“Yeah, I’ll think about it. And thanks for listening to my story too. But please don’t spread it around, okay?” replied Wonshik. Hakyeon made a zipping gesture on his lips, before he broke into a wide grin.

“I hope we’ll see each other soon~ Bye bye~” said Hakyeon as he stepped out and gave a little wave after closing the door, watching as Wonshik drove away before turning around and walked towards the building’s entrance.

But when he saw how Taekwoon was standing in front of the entrance, eyes wide in shock like he had just seen a ghost, his grin faltered a little. He was torn between wanting to tell him that nothing happened between them, or to tease the writer a little bit.

In the end, he chose the latter.

“Why the shocked face? Surprised to see that your boyfriend chose to spend his time with me while you spent it with my boyfriend?” asked Hakyeon with a saccharine smile. He walked closer, then tilted his head a little as his grin grew wider, “But, oh, he’s not your boyfriend, isn’t he? So why do you care?”

The horror and disgust reflected in Taekwoon’s eyes were a delight to see. It’s rare for him to admit it, but he did feel a bit jealous that Hongbin told him to come home a bit later since he chose to spend some time with Taekwoon.

Still, at the end of the day, he knew that Hongbin would return to him, the way he always returned to Hongbin.

“You might have tasted Hongbin’s body, but know that his heart belongs to me, always,” whispered Hakyeon as he walked passed Taekwoon, not looking back anymore as he entered the building.

And when Hongbin opened the door for him, with his gentle smile and passionate kiss, Hakyeon knew that he was right.


	14. Chapter 14

Weeks went by and it felt like everything had come back to normal. Ever since that day, Wonshik hadn’t been in contact with Taekwoon at all. The editing was done, and the magazine was published. It became a big hit among his fans, and even dragged more people to be one. His popularity soared up, and he also got offers from various brands that previously didn’t even consider to contact him.

With his schedule getting more and more jam-packed, it distracted him enough from thinking about Taekwoon. From waking up to the time he fell asleep, all he was allowed to think was his job—

—Until a certain drama offer came.

“The role will be quite different from what you’re used to do. I think it’ll be a good experience for you,” said Kang- _nim_ as he handed the overview to Wonshik. “It’s not official yet, but you’ll be acting along with your favorite actress, Sun- _nim_.”

Wonshik raised his eyebrows as he took the overview. “Sun- _noona_? She has returned from Italy?” he asked.

“Yep, and she specifically requested you to be casted in this drama. I think she really fancies you,” said Kang- _nim_ with a suggestive grin. Wonshik chuckled as he shook his head. He knew Sunye; she’s not interested in such a young guy like him. Their relationship had always been strictly professional. If she specifically requested him, it simply meant that there would be some very intimate moments she couldn’t do with any other actors but him, since she knew for sure that he wouldn’t ever fall for her no matter how romantic their characters would be.

With that in mind, Wonshik opened the character introduction page. His character, Han Jaegyu, had been marked for him to read. But his eyes fell on the character written below it, the one whose role would most likely be given to a newcomer.

> **_Bom Haneul (age 17 and 21)_ ** _— cast will be auditioned later_
> 
> _Im Yeoreum’s younger step-brother. Fell in love with her, but couldn’t tell her. When their parents eventually divorced, Haneul moved to another city with his father and lost his contacts with Yeoreum. He’s running a coffee shop when he meets again with Yeoreum 3 years later. Han Jaegyu’s love rival. Protects his (former) step-sister from falling for a rude man like Jaegyu._

“Can I try auditioning for this ‘Bom Haneul’ role, though?” asked Wonshik with a hopeful look on his face.

Kang- _nim_ stared at him like he was completely mental.

“Why would you want a role of second grade character like that? The main character role has been reserved for you!” said Kang- _nim_.

“Why not? I mean, if you’re talking about a character that I don’t usually do, this ‘Bom Haneul’ is the one. Meanwhile this ‘Han Jaegyu’—” Wonshik paused to skim the description and continued, “This is just yet another rich _chaebol_ role; the only difference is that he’s kinda wild and rude while I usually played the calm and polite role. It’s still too bland.”

“Hey. Look at the mirror. Do you think people will believe that ‘Ravi’ can play the role of a simple coffee shop employee? I don’t think so,” snickered Kang- _nim_.

Wonshik fell silent. _Ravi_. The ‘Ravi’ of GROOVL1N was a sophisticated man, rich and elegant, a man of class. But that’s what Kang- _nim_ wanted everyone to believe. His real self, _Kim Wonshik_ , worked at the restaurant his late father and step-mother made. _Kim Wonshik_ worked at various part-time to collect some money so that he could buy a phone to replace the one taken away by his mother.

And _Kim Wonshik_ fell in love with his step-sibling, just like this ‘Bom Haneul’ character did.

“Yeah… You’re right. ‘Ravi’ won’t be able to play such a role,” said Wonshik. Kang- _nim_ seemed pleased with his answer, even more when Wonshik voiced his interest to go for the audition. With the audition script in hand, Wonshik excused himself from the office so that he could practice.

_“If it’s impossible for ‘Ravi’, how about ‘Kim Wonshik’? Is it possible?”_

Hakyeon’s words from that day felt like ringing in his ears as he silently read the parts meant for the character he wanted to audition as instead of the one he was expected to take.

Even if ‘Ravi’ couldn’t play as ‘Bom Haneul’, he knew that ‘Kim Wonshik’ could.

* * *

For something his manager described as ‘fake audition’, his team was doing their best to keep him appeared as effortlessly sophisticated as possible. Wonshik had his hair combed back like all the time he had to appear as this rich high-class man, and he was required to wear a plain shirt instead of the ones with patterns or such. He was already expecting a strong rejection when he asked whether he’s allowed to wear jeans this time or not, but thankfully they all agreed that he should look a bit casual somewhat so they gave him a pass to wear jeans.

When he arrived at the meeting room, he could see that they already shortlisted the actors to play the role of ‘Bom Haneul’. Granted, they all looked young and fresh, just like how it was expected of their role.

If Wonshik really was going to snatch that role from them, he really didn’t know who could take his place as ‘Han Jaegyu’. There was no sign that the character was up to be auditioned, and Wonshik doubted that any of those young actors could take that role just yet.

The meeting started after the main actress, Sunye, arrived with the producer. The producer explained a little about the story, introducing Sunye as the main actress, then asked the other cast members to introduce themselves.

“Ravi- _ssi_ , are you not going to introduce yourself and your role?” asked the producer when Wonshik didn’t take any initiative to introduce himself.

“Ah, but I’m here for the audition?” said Wonshik playfully but politely. The whole room chuckled and the producer shook her head a little.

“The role ‘Han Jaegyu’ is yours to take; there’s no need for any audition,” she said with a smile, knowing that Kang- _nim_ was probably messing with Wonshik again.

“I’m here to audition for the role of ‘Bom Haneul’, not ‘Han Jaegyu’,” replied Wonshik firmly.

There were whispers, some snorts, and disbelieved look among them.

Wonshik knew that they doubted him. The only thing he could do was, obviously, convincing them that he could take that role.

“If it’s allowed, please let me try the ‘saying goodbye to Yeoreum’ scene for the audition,” said Wonshik as he stood up from his seat and quickly moved to the front without even waiting for anyone’s reaction. He only stopped at Sunye’s seat and held out his hand to her.

“Sunye- _ssi_ , if you may,” asked Wonshik politely. Wonshik expected that he would be rejected, but Sunye took his hand without hesitation and followed him to the front.

“This better be good, kid,” she whispered as she walked passed him to stand face to face with him. Wonshik only flashed her a smile, before running his fingers through his styled hair and let all his bangs down.

After counting to three in his mind, he let himself to be brought back to his own moment of separation with Taekwoon.

Young, innocent smile spread across his face. That moment, he’s no longer the Ravi of _GROOVL1N_ everyone knew.

He was Kim Wonshik of _Kim’s Diner_ , from 7 years ago.

* * *

Just as expected, Wonshik got an earful from Kang- _nim_ for the stunt he did that morning. Still, it didn’t matter to him. It didn’t matter at all, because he really got the role of ‘Bom Haneul’ like he wanted. What surprised him, though, one of the actors auditioning for that role actually had the guts to try taking the ‘Han Jaegyu’ role.

The newcomer with the same surname with the character he got, Han Sanghyuk, really surprised everyone with his boldness. After watching Wonshik’s audition for Bom Haneul, Sanghyuk quickly stood up and claimed that he wanted to try the ‘quarrel between Haneul and Jaegyu’ scene, but with him as Jaegyu and Wonshik as Haneul. Despite his actual age, he managed to pull the rude _chaebol_ personality Jaegyu was portrayed as.

They’re probably lucky that the producer liked their chemistry, though. There would be tweaks for their ages—she decided to make Jaegyu younger than Haneul and Yeoreum, but still old enough to pass as Yeoreum’s future boyfriend—but the rest would be the same.

“I hope this can be the change we all enjoy. This is new, _really_ new, but I can see the huge potential and I’m willing to take risks,” she said with twinkling eyes after she announced the final lineup and possible tweaks to the entire cast members.

Wonshik couldn’t stop smiling. It felt good to finally be able to do what he wanted to do.

Suddenly remembering about Hakyeon’s offer about modelling for Hongbin, Wonshik fetched his phone and punched the numbers printed on the business card Hakyeon left with the proposal.

“Hello?”

“Hongbin- _ssi_ , this is Rav—no, this is _Kim Wonshik_. I’m taking the offer to be your model.”


	15. Chapter 15

Although the weather was warm and the sky was clear, it felt really gloomy for Taekwoon. It had been weeks since that incident at Hongbin and Hakyeon’s apartment, but he couldn’t erase the image his brain conjured upon hearing Hakyeon’s words. If anything, it only got worse as time passed.

Up until then, he had never thought of the possibility for Wonshik to play around with other people. Wonshik said it himself; he’s not the type to have sex with just anyone. He needed to have a deep connection with the other person first, and so far only Taekwoon was qualified for that.

But then again, they had been separated for long enough. During those years, he didn’t know just how deep Wonshik’s bond with Hakyeon was. One thing for sure, Hakyeon was the first person Wonshik went to when Taekwoon rejected him, seeing from that Dionysus photoshoot. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine Wonshik going to Hakyeon after Taekwoon repeatedly pushed him away.

Still, Taekwoon felt that it’s totally unfair. It’s not like what happened between them wasn’t mutual—Wonshik constantly pushing Taekwoon away and Taekwoon reacted by pushing him even further away. What they’d been doing felt like some fucked up push-and-pull game, only with both parties pushing each other without pulling even once.

In the midst of his brooding, his phone rang. Without even thinking or looking at the caller’s ID, Taekwoon answered it.

“Hello, Taekwoon- _ssi_? Are you currently free?” asked Hongbin quickly after Taekwoon’s greeting.

Taekwoon frowned as he pulled the phone away, finally checking the ID to make sure that his ears weren’t playing games on him, before answering, “What do you want?”

“You to be my model. See, I’m having a solo exhibition in 2 months, and I really need you as my model,” replied Hongbin without any sign of hesitation at all.

Taekwoon couldn’t tell if Hongbin was dumb or just dense. He’s sure that Hakyeon had said something to him about that day, or at least did something to show Hongbin that he’s jealous. But Hongbin sounded unaffected, from the way he talked so casually to Taekwoon like that.

“Don’t you have Hakyeon?” asked Taekwoon.

“He doesn’t fit the theme this time, so he’ll just help me around. Don’t worry; I’ve discussed this with him. He’s fine with it,” said Hongbin.

Taekwoon didn’t really buy it. He still remembered the things Hakyeon told him with that fake sweet smile. He probably knew how it would wound Taekwoon, despite Taekwoon and Wonshik’s earlier statement about them not being boyfriends or anything. He probably knew that _something_ was going on between Taekwoon and Wonshik, that’s why he said such thing to Taekwoon. That’s also probably why Hakyeon went to Wonshik when Hongbin told him not to go home yet, spending his time seducing and having his way with Wonshik, and even kissing in Wonshik’s car where everyone could see them—

“Taekwoon- _ssi_?” called Hongbin, making sure that the call hadn’t been cut. That snapped Taekwoon away from his train of thoughts.

“I don’t think I can do it,” said Taekwoon.

“Please? I’ve really talked to Hakyeon, and he really is okay about it. Also, I’m not saying that you’ll be doing it for free. I’ll pay you, equal to modelling fee of a professional model. I can send the proposal to you as reference,” coaxed Hongbin.

Taekwoon bit his lips. The talk about money was pretty tempting, but he’s not sure if dealing with Hakyeon’s jealousy really worth it.

“Taekwoon- _ssi_? Are you still there?” asked another voice that Taekwoon recognized as Hakyeon’s. He immediately froze, contemplating whether to hang up or not.

“Hongbin asked me to confirm it to you, and yes, I’m okay with him using you as his model. I’ll be doing the styling and makeup, as well as assisting the shoot. There’ll be nothing funny,” said Hakyeon calmly. Taekwoon chuckled at that, the image of him and Wonshik kissing passionately in the car conjured in his mind again.

“Ha… ’nothing funny’, but didn’t you fuck with Wonshik after you knew that I was fucking with your boyfriend? Even after you said that both of you are okay with threesome?” bit Taekwoon.

There was a brief silence, before Hakyeon replied softly, ”I didn’t fuck with Ravi, if that’s what you’re concerned about. I did try to coax him since, you know, you’re fucking with _my_ Hongbin. Why can’t I have a taste of _your_ Ravi, right?”

Taekwoon felt his blood boiling at just how easily Hakyeon talked about Wonshik like that.

“But you know what? He refused. That picky eater didn’t even let me have a kiss,” continued Hakyeon. Taekwoon snorted.

“Don’t lie; I saw you in his car—”

“Totally not kissing, you delusional boy. You can ask him if you don’t believe me,” cut Hakyeon quickly. “Anyway, check your mailbox. I’ve sent you the brief for the photoshoot, and our quotation for your fee. Please do consider it.”

Hakyeon didn’t give Taekwoon any chance to reply as he quickly ended the call, making Taekwoon cursed softly at him.

Soon enough, a mail notification popped up and Taekwoon quickly checked it. It was the project’s brief, just like what Hakyeon told him. Everything was done professionally, down to the cover letter that briefly explained about the project. Taekwoon was still irritated by the call, but he was curious enough to open the brief.

Just like Hakyeon and Hongbin said, there’s no funny business. According to the sample photos they attached, he just needed to look soft and cozy and pretty much ignoring the camera as he held flower bouquets. The wardrobe was tame too, just short pants and oversized shirt. The photos would be taken at Hakyeon’s apartment too, so it wouldn’t attract outsider’s attention.

When Taekwoon finally scrolled down to the quotation, his eyes widened at the number written there. As much as he liked his job, the pay was so-so, and the extra money Hongbin offered him was tempting enough.

By the end of his lunch break, Taekwoon had already sent a reply to Hongbin, agreeing to be his model.

* * *

“Are you okay with going completely nude?” asked Hongbin as he peeked at the list he had in his notepad.

“Hell, no. I’m okay with nude-colored boxer brief, but that’s the farthest I’ll go,” replied Wonshik quickly with a deep frown.

“Can I edit the underwear to make it as if you’re fully nude?” asked Hongbin again. Wonshik shrugged at that.

“As long as my crotch is actually covered during the shoot, go ahead,” said Wonshik.

“How if I edited another person’s nude crotch on your—”

“What the hell is wrong with you, man?” cut Wonshik quickly before Hongbin finished his question, and Hongbin took it as a ‘no’.

“I’m just asking. I assume you don’t want any butt shot too?” asked Hongbin again.

“No butt shot and no editing other person’s butt onto mine,” replied Wonshik. Hongbin quickly noted it all down.

“Okay, so I’ll do a quick review. You’re okay with real, fake, and dried flowers. You’re okay with light makeup and some body painting. You’re okay with nakedness, but no full nudity and no editing it out to make it look like you’re fully nude explicitly. Is that correct?” said Hongbin.

“Yes,” replied Wonshik shortly.

“Okay… Anything else you want to add?” asked Hongbin.

“The credits for the model… I don’t want you to write my name as ‘Ravi’. Use my real name, ‘Kim Wonshik’,” said Wonshik. Hongbin frowned as he heard that request, feeling intrigued.

“Why, though?” asked Hongbin.

“I’m agreeing to this job without telling my agency, so I don’t want this to be tied to my agency in any way. By crediting ‘Kim Wonshik’ instead of ‘Ravi’, I think it’ll lessen the ties with my agency,” explained Wonshik.

“Funny how you talked about yourself as if there were 2 different people with the exact same appearance and all,” commented Hongbin. Wonshik chuckled.

“Yeah, it’s kinda like that, maybe… Like Jekyll and Hyde,” replied Wonshik off-handedly.

“Or your concept of Dionysus and Hades,” said Hongbin. Wonshik’s expression went sour upon hearing and remembering that shoot again. When he received his copy of the magazine, he almost tore it to pieces and threw it away. He hated having his true emotions being openly displayed like that, but he also knew that it’s one of the rare times when he didn’t have to pretend.

It felt oddly liberating.

“Anyway, are we done with the discussion for now? I have to quickly go back to the set, so that my manager won’t get suspicious,” asked Wonshik.

“Yeah, we’re done for now. If there’s more to discuss, we can do it through chat,” replied Hongbin. Wonshik nodded, then quickly finished his coffee before standing from his seat.

“See you next week, Hongbin- _ssi_ ,” said Wonshik. Hongbin just waved to him in reply, and Wonshik quickly left.

Hongbin took his time finishing his drink and tidying up his stuff, all while planning the shoot and the exhibition’s layout in his mind. He smiled a little to himself as he imagined how Taekwoon would react to the whole thing.

Because, unlike Wonshik who got the complete overview of the project, Taekwoon didn’t know anything other than the part he had to model as.

“It will be perfect… One is painfully in love, while the other is completely oblivious…” mumbled Hongbin to himself.

* * *

That Monday was supposed to be Wonshik’s day off from the drama shooting since it’s Sanghyuk’s turn to be recorded, but Wonshik couldn’t have any rest at all. He dragged himself out of bed early in the morning and drove to _Saboten_ studio as scheduled. Hongbin was in the middle of setting up the studio when Wonshik stepped inside, while Hakyeon seemed to be tidying up his makeup station.

“You’re early,” commented Hongbin as he continued to adjust the softbox’s position.

“Fifteen minutes is not early,” replied Wonshik.

“Which is good, because I’ll need all the extra time for the makeup,” said Hakyeon with a wide smile.

Hongbin then told Wonshik where the changing room was so that he could take off his clothes and kept them there. He also told Wonshik that he left a white sheer robe that he could wear if he wanted to cover up a bit. Wonshik found the said robe hung in the room, a sheer white one that he swore he’d seen Hakyeon wore in many of the pictures he sent or shown to Wonshik. He didn’t think too much further about it and simply stripped down to his underwear and took the robe as suggested.

“The robe looks good on you. Keep it on for the shoot,” commented Hongbin as Wonshik stepped out from the dressing room.

“I’ve told you it’ll look good on him! Our skin tone is similar after all,” said Hakyeon, somewhat confirming Wonshik’s earlier suspicion about the robe being Hakyeon’s.

“I’ll just give you a light makeup. Your beauty marks are really pretty, so I won’t cover them at all,” said Hakyeon as he took a tube of tinted moisturizer from the table.

“Okay. But can you cover the scar on my elbow? I think it’s unpleasant to see,” said Wonshik. Hakyeon frowned at the statement, and Wonshik quickly lifted his right arm, pulling the sleeve up until it showed a dark jaggy patch on his skin right above his elbow.

“I can do that, but…” Hakyeon turned to Hongbin, who had heard their conversation and quickly approached them curiously. “What do you think?”

Hongbin touched the scar gently, examining it with a deep frown. “If I don’t want to cover this scar, would you allow it?” asked Hongbin.

“Well, it’s just… I’ve never really had a photoshoot with this scar showing? Every time I have a photoshoot that requires me to show my right elbow, the MUA always covered the scar. Even if they didn’t, the photo editor would. So I guess it’s unpleasant to see,” explained Wonshik.

“It probably is, but it’s also a part of who you really are,” commented Hongbin. He glanced up to Wonshik and asked to confirm, “So, do you want to cover it or not?”

There was a brief silence before Wonshik replied firmly, “No. Let it show. It’s part of my body after all.”

Both Hongbin and Hakyeon smiled in satisfaction.


	16. Chapter 16

Tuesday came and Wonshik really didn’t want to get up. The photoshoot he had with Hongbin didn’t last too long, but the mental exhaustion left him feeling lethargic after the shoot.

Groaning loudly as he forced himself to get up, Wonshik recalled the whole ordeal from the day before. Hongbin didn’t really give him any direction—he simply told Wonshik to pose with anything he’s most comfortable with. But after a while, Hongbin asked whether Wonshik could give him some expressions close to the ones in Hades photoshoot. Without Taekwoon being around, Wonshik knew that it would be difficult. But then he realized one thing that could help him brought up those expressions even if it could also break him into pieces.

Wonshik asked Hongbin to talk about what he did with Taekwoon that day, in the most detailed way he could.

Needless to say, it’s a huge success. Wonshik even cried ugly tears and he honestly wanted to vomit when he saw the previewed photo afterwards. It was him, _Wonshik_ , the side that he hid from the world for a very long time.

The memories made him wanted to cry and vomit again. Still, he knew that he had no time to waste before the shoot, so he just forced himself to quickly shower and get ready. By the time Daetuk rang his apartment’s door, he was ready to go.

“Are you resting well yesterday?” asked Daetuk.

“Nope. I was barely able to sleep,” replied Wonshik nonchalantly as he leaned back to the seat, getting comfortable enough for a short nap.

“Then please have some rest before we arrive. Today’s filming is going to last until night,” said Daetuk. Wonshik only hummed in reply as he allowed himself to rest.

* * *

Wonshik munched his dinner half-heartedly. While he hadn’t messed up his takes, it was hard to act all happy and cheerful when he’s actually still suffering from his photoshoot with Hongbin. Thankfully that Sanghyuk guy needed several takes for his part, so Wonshik could take it a bit easy that day.

“You look like you’re about to pass out any minute now,” commented Sunhye as she took a seat across Wonshik. It seemed that her takes with Sanghyuk had ended, leaving the young actor for his solo takes.

“Yeah… I couldn’t rest too well lately,” admitted Wonshik.

“Why, is it because the role is too difficult for you? It’s far too different from the ones you’ve done after all… But I can say you’re doing great so far, so no need to try too hard,” said Sunhye. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head.

“No, the role itself isn’t that difficult, just… I have some personal stuff happening,” said Wonshik.

“Your mother again?” asked Sunhye. Wonshik shook his head again.

“Something else. Although, mom did ask about you. Still not giving up on matching us, I suppose, despite that time you’ve blatantly told her that you’re not into younger guys,” replied Wonshik. Sunhye outright laughed at that, and it brought a little smile to Wonshik’s lips.

“Should we date for a while, then? It can shut your mother up for a bit, and it can be a good promotion for the series. When the airing and promotion period is over, we can break up,” offered Sunhye playfully. Wonshik snorted at that.

“If you date me, my mom’s gonna be even more annoying, constantly asking ‘when is the marriage?’ and stuff… Then she’ll skin me alive for breaking up with you,” said Wonshik. Sunhye laughed again at the comment.

The little talk with Sunhye made Wonshik felt relaxed enough to eat his dinner without feeling unwell. Once he tidied up his tray, he returned to the set for the last take he had to shoot that day.

“We’ll be taking your solo shot for the part where Haneul catches Yeoreum together with Jaegyu. There’s no dialogue in this part so use your best expression, okay? I’ll direct where you have to look and move; please listen carefully to the cues,” said the director.

“Understood,” replied Wonshik before he walked to the spot directed to him. He then waited for the cue as he took a deep breath, and followed the script once he was told to begin.

Wonshik walked with a giddy smile while looking down at the road, then raised his head to look up at the staff holding a pointer board at the cue. Then, his smile slowly faded to a melancholy, before he looked down again and rushed away from the scene—

“Cut!” called the director, making Wonshik halted on his track. He looked at the director confusedly, trying to figure out what he did wrong with the action. He did as it was written at the script, and it should be good enough.

“I can’t feel your sincerity in that. Please repeat. Remember, you’re catching the love of your life being all lovey-dovey with a man you dislike. It’s not just seeing your friend having a new best friend,” explained the director before Wonshik even asked what’s wrong. Wonshik only sighed in defeat as he bowed his head down.

“I’m sorry. I’ll do it better,” said Wonshik. He then returned to the starting position and repeated the scene, and he tried to express it a little more openly, but the director asked him to repeat the scene once again.

“What you gave just now is good enough, but I want _more_. I don’t want you to just act; I want you to really _feel_ it. Please try harder,” said the director. Once again, Wonshik could only apologize and return to his starting position.

 _To really feel it_. Wonshik felt like to laugh. He closed his eyes for a bit, bringing back the one memory he knew could bring him to express what he needed to express.

“Action!”

Wonshik walked with heads down, smiling giddily at himself. He then lift his head up, still smiling, but it faltered as he narrowed his eyes at the scene playing in front of him.

_"He kissed me first."_

Hongbin's voice echoed in his head as he recalled the scene of him and Taekwoon kissing; first in Hongbin's car, and then at the dining area during Hades photoshoot.

He looked down, squeezing his eyes shut with a massive frown, then looked up again. Although currently it was simply a memory replaying in his head, he knew that it really did happen.

Anger and sadness boiled inside him, mixing and bubbling wildly along with his own heartbeat. He took a step forward, wanting to rush to them and went ape shit, but then he decided against it.

With a loud and long exhale, Wonshik turned on his heel and walked away. He breathed through his mouth, looking up as he tried to blink away the tears threatening to spill.

Still, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop himself from crying. He panicked a little, knowing that the script didn't call for any tears. Yet, the director still hadn't cued the camera to stop rolling, or for Wonshik to stop doing whatever he was doing.

So he just did what he had done before, scoffing as he wiped away his tears, and then took one last glance to where the love of his life was standing.

His expression hardened, and he continued walking away from them, jaws clenched and tears dried out.

"Cut!"

Finally the director gave him the cue, and Wonshik quickly returned to ask whether he had to redo it or not.

What greeted him was round applause from the crews. Even Sunhye and Sanghyuk, who apparently watched the last retake, clapped their hands at him.

"That was amazing. I'm sure everyone will love this part. Great job, Ravi- _ssi_ ," praised the director.

"It's a bit different than how it was written in the script, though… Do we need to retake it?" asked Wonshik.

"No, it's okay. At emotional scenes like this, ad-libs are allowed, especially if it results in a great shot like just now," replied the director. Wonshik nodded and said a low thanks.

As he was dismissed, Wonshik quickly went to his manager. He felt oddly dizzy, and he wanted to ask Daetuk to drive him home right away. But as he walked towards the staff area, he felt his world spun and went dark.

* * *

The tiring procession was finally over. Everything felt surreal, from the time Wonshik received the call from their mother to pick Taekwoon up from his campus and quickly go to the hospital because their father got into an accident, to the time they gathered in the crematorium to burn his father's body.

Only when the ash jar was placed inside the columbarium, decorated with their family pictures, it finally hit Wonshik that their father— _his_ father—had already passed away.

The weight of reality fell upon him like an intense waterfall.

He still could hold his tears during their ride home. But after he's in the safety of his own bedroom, he could finally let it all go.

With silent tears blurred his vision, Wonshik dragged his feet to the bed, curling in the middle of it to give him a little sense of security. The father who raised and supported him was gone. He felt so terribly lost he didn't know whether he could continue living normally anymore.

He didn't know how long he had been crying, but it seemed to be long enough for someone to check on him. He tried to stop crying, to gather strength to get up and said that he's okay, but he just couldn't.

"Wonshik?" called Taekwoon softly.

Wonshik couldn't reply. He just kept on crying, breathing heavily through his mouth.

Then, he felt the bed dipped under Taekwoon's weight, and comforting fingers massaging his scalp. While he knew that Taekwoon was just trying to calm him down, his tears only streamed out more.

“It’s okay. You can cry as much as you want,” whispered Taekwoon. Wonshik squeezed his eyes shut and cried harder, whimpering against his bed. He didn’t notice that Taekwoon had moved until he felt the elder held him as close as he could in that position.

They stayed like that, with Wonshik crying his heart out and Taekwoon wordlessly caressing his back. The rain had started pouring outside too, mirroring Wonshik’s heart. But as the rain became heavier, Wonshik’s tears started drying out. His breathing had returned to normal too, and he could say that it’s all thanks to Taekwoon’s presence.

Slowly, Wonshik raised his head to look at Taekwoon. He wanted to thank him for staying there with him, to give him strength. But before he could even say a word, Taekwoon broke whatever he was about to do.

Wonshik’s eyes were wide as he felt a pair of soft lips pressing against his own. His brain was slow to catch up on what’s going on, but once he realized that Taekwoon was kissing him, full on the lips, he felt like his insides were melting in a good way.

The rational part of his brain screamed that it was wrong, that brothers shouldn’t act that way, but his irrational part just accepted that kiss like it was the most natural thing to do. When Taekwoon pulled from the lack of response, Wonshik surged forward, capturing those soft lips once again.

He had liked Taekwoon for a long time already. He only held back because he thought that he shouldn’t feel that way towards his own stepbrother, shouldn’t even feel that way towards any male at all, but he just couldn’t help it. But then Taekwoon had kissed him like that, not like brothers but like lovers, all the thoughts about how wrong it was had disappeared instantly.

As they parted once again, Wonshik could see Taekwoon’s expression; glad that they had the same feeling, but also guilty because they should be just brothers. Even if Wonshik’s father—who tied them together as family although him and Taekwoon weren’t related by blood—had just died, they should stay as brothers.

“Is it okay to like you this way?” whispered Taekwoon, so softly it almost missed Wonshik’s ears.

It felt both wrong and right at the same time, and Wonshik didn’t know what he should do. So just like how he always did when he didn’t know what to do, just like how he let his instincts to run towards Taekwoon and punched the guy who bullied him to the ground, he let himself gave Taekwoon a soft peck on the corner of his lips.

“I like you this way too, _Hyung_ ,” murmured Wonshik.

Full smile broke on both of their faces, and they shared one more chaste kiss before they fell asleep holding close to each other.


	17. Chapter 17

Even with the whole list about what he hated working at a gossip magazine, Taekwoon just couldn’t feel thankful enough that it allowed him to get an insider news much faster than others. That, coupled with the fact that Wonshik had privately informed his manager that they used to be stepbrothers, allowed Taekwoon to get inside Wonshik’s hospital room.

He had fainted after his drama filming. From his manager, Taekwoon learned that the doctor said that Wonshik was probably fatigued. His schedule from the past months was jam-packed and he hardly had any time to rest, so it’s not surprising that his body eventually gave up.

Taekwoon couldn’t help but feel sad seeing how tired Wonshik looked. Without any makeup on, it was clear that his eyebags had become even darker than the last time they met. But then again, when was the last time Taekwoon saw Wonshik without his makeup on? The last time they met in person felt like forever ago already, with them avoiding each other like the plague.

And yet, there he was, softly caressing Wonshik’s free hand like they didn’t have any fight at all. Taekwoon didn’t like to admit it, but he still cared deeply about Wonshik. No matter how many times they fought, no matter how deep they had hurt each other, he still cared.

The boy he both loved and hated was still the same Wonshik.

"I don't think he's going to wake up anytime soon," said Daetuk who had just entered the room. He handed a canned tea to Taekwoon, while opening his own canned coffee.

"Have you contacted his family yet?" asked Taekwoon. Daetuk shook his head.

"His sister is overseas, and his mother is currently visiting her. No other relatives that I know here. Except you, I guess," said Daetuk.

"No stepfather?" asked Taekwoon. Daetuk chuckled and shook his head.

"Man, when I heard you two hadn't come in contact for years, I didn't realize it's this severe… Anyway, ever since their parents divorced, his mother never remarries. She's rich and independent enough to raise her children _AND_ take care of her hotel business without having to marry anyone for support," explained Daetuk.

"Well then, she can marry whomever she loves," commented Taekwoon with a shrug. Daetuk chuckled again.

"Seeing from all the marriage arrangements Ravi has to go through, I don't believe that she's the type to marry out of love; no offense," replied Daetuk. Taekwoon frowned.

"Marriage arrangements?" asked Taekwoon.

"He didn't tell you that either? Oh wow, what kind of brothers you two are… Anyway, yeah, his mother arranged him to marry several times—daughters from famous and important people, and some of his co-actresses if they’re reputable enough. None has gone through, though. He's quite stubborn and wants to stay single as long as he can," said Daetuk. Taekwoon only hummed in reply, nodding a bit. He knew that Wonshik never really dated anyone, but he didn't know that his mother was matchmaking him.

"You're not going to write it all down for an article, are you?" asked Daetuk as he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Taekwoon. Taekwoon snickered and shook his head.

"I come here as his brother, not a journalist," replied Taekwoon. Daetuk nodded in understanding, although he still eyed him suspiciously.

* * *

Wonshik felt disoriented as he slowly opened his eyes. He blinked several times, trying to patch together his memories to figure out where he was. He remembered the filming, and how he went to find his manager afterwards. The rest felt dark and blurry, so he assumed that he probably fainted.

Slowly, he took a glance around to see just where he actually was. But just a look to the left was enough to inform that he was in a hospital, if the IV means anything.

A little bit further, he can see a person sleeping on the couch. It’s easy to figure out who that was, and Wonshik opened his mouth to wake him up, “ _Hyung_ …”

With that simple word, the man woke up and quickly looked at Wonshik like it’s in his instinct to do that.

“Oh, Ravi- _ssi_ , you’re finally up,” said Daetuk sleepily, before he yawned and rubbed his eyes a bit. He looked really tired and Wonshik felt that he couldn’t blame him at all.

“How long have I been sleeping?” asked Wonshik. Daetuk squinted at his watch as he counted in his head.

“Eh, almost 12 hours. Doctor said you’re fatigued. I’ve relayed the message to the PD- _nim_ and you’re given 3 days to rest. Though, on one of those days, you’re required to visit the hair salon to get your hair ready for the next shoot,” explained Daetuk.

“I see… I’ll properly apologize to all staff after I come back, then,” said Wonshik.

“Don’t you have someone you should apologize to in the first place?” asked Daetuk with raised eyebrows.

“Yeah… I’m sorry to burden you, _Hyung_ ,” said Wonshik sheepishly as he gave Daetuk a little nod. Daetuk blinked several times quickly as if he couldn’t believe his ears.

“I was referring to Kang- _nim_ , but okay. Good to know that you feel guilty towards me above all,” said Daetuk with a snicker. “Oh, by the way, that journalist brother of yours came to visit. I’ve warned him not to write anything, though. Hopefully he’s not that much of an asshole,” added Daetuk.

“What? Taekwoon- _hyung_ came?” asked Wonshik in disbelief.

“Yeah, around 3 hours ago, when you’re still knocked completely out,” replied Daetuk.

Wonshik felt like his head was spinning again. Out of all people, he didn’t expect Taekwoon to come. Sure, he had told Daetuk that Taekwoon used to be his stepbrother, but he never gave him Taekwoon’s contact. It meant that Taekwoon knew what happened to him and looked for him on his own.

But then again, Wonshik also remembered how Taekwoon worked in a gossip magazine. It’s not hard to imagine that his boss sent him to find out what’s happening to ‘Ravi’. Wonshik felt disheartened, but deep down he really hoped that Taekwoon came on his own volition rather than being sent by his boss.

“As your good manager, I haven’t told your mother too about your condition. As long as you rest well and return to the filming nicely, we all can cover this up for you,” said Daetuk again.

“Thanks a lot, _Hyung_. I really don’t know what to do without your help,” replied Wonshik with a smile.

“That’s my job after all. If you really feel thankful, you can treat me some meat after this,” said Daetuk teasingly. Wonshik nodded solemnly at that.

* * *

Taekwoon was in the middle of writing an article about birthstone when his doorbell rang. He frowned as he looked at the clock on his screen, but he still went to check his visitor anyway. Without unhooking the chain, he opened the door.

“Hello, _Hyung_ ,” greeted Wonshik with a thin smile.

Taekwoon’s eyes were wide. Out of all people, he didn’t expect that it was Wonshik ringing his doorbell at such a late hour. But there he was, in front of Taekwoon’s door, still looking as tired as he looked the last time Taekwoon saw him.

“May I come in?” asked Wonshik, pulling Taekwoon’s focus back to him.

“Yeah, hold on,” replied Taekwoon before he closed the door to unhook the chain, then opened it again wider for Wonshik to enter.

He told Wonshik to just sit at the dining table as he went to the kitchen for some glasses and bottled tea. Wonshik did as told, shedding his jacket and draped it on the back of the chair. As Taekwoon put the glasses and bottle down, he noticed how Wonshik’s hair had turned black and cut very short, like that one character from Ponyo movie.

“Are you going to the military soon?” asked Taekwoon as he opened the tea and pour it for both of them. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head.

“It’s for the drama. I need to look younger,” replied Wonshik. Taekwoon only hummed in reply as he raised his glass and took a sip.

They drank their tea slowly in silence, until Wonshik eventually broke it, “I heard from my manager that you visited yesterday.”

“Yeah, I did,” replied Taekwoon briefly.

“Is it because you still care about me, or is it for an article?” asked Wonshik. Taekwoon put down his glass and tilted his head a little.

“Would you hate me if I say that it’s for an article?” asked Taekwoon back. Wonshik snorted and threw his gaze away, shrugging. It’s clear that he was confused and yet hopeful about Taekwoon’s visit, and Taekwoon was currently too tired to lie.

“I care for you. We may be fighting, hate each other’s guts, or just anything; but I do care for you like how a real brother should,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik raised his gaze again to look at Taekwoon properly, and he also looked as tired as Taekwoon was.

“Just as brothers?” asked Wonshik again.

“At the very least, as brothers,” replied Taekwoon.

Silence fell between them again, and it’s Wonshik who broke it like before, “Then, as brothers… Can we talk? Now?”

Taekwoon glanced at his laptop, still open on his nightstand. He let out a deep sigh, then shook his head slowly. Wonshik looked clearly dejected, but Taekwoon wasn’t planning to let him down too much.

“It’s late already, and you— _we_ need some rest. Go home, have some rest, and I’ll come over tomorrow,” said Taekwoon calmly. Wonshik’s face lit up instantly, and Taekwoon couldn’t help but think that he finally looked like his age.

“Then… I’ll go home now. So you can rest,” said Wonshik. He finished the tea in his glass, then stood up and grabbed his jacket. Taekwoon walked him to the door as he held back the urge to ask Wonshik to stay for a night.

“Ah, yeah… The new passcode is our parents’ marriage date, month-day-year. Just in case you want to enter but I can’t answer the door yet,” said Wonshik as he put on his shoes.

“Okay. Text me when you’re ready to have a guest over,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled and shrugged.

“Just come anytime you want. Tomorrow is still my day off,” said Wonshik, and Taekwoon nodded in reply.

The two of them stood awkwardly at the entryway, once again plagued with silence. But this time, it’s Taekwoon who broke it first.

“See you tomorrow, then,” said Taekwoon as he stepped closer and reached out an arm.

Awkwardly, Wonshik opened his arms and held Taekwoon loosely, sighing softly as he patted Taekwoon’s back. “Yeah, see you tomorrow,” whispered Wonshik.

After a few seconds of staying in that position, Taekwoon said, “Um… actually I just want to open the door for you.”

Realizing his error, Wonshik quickly released Taekwoon and stepped aside. His face was flushed red when Taekwoon glanced at him, and Taekwoon couldn’t hold back his snort.

“Be careful on your way back,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik nodded in reply before turning and walked away. Taekwoon watched his back until Wonshik made a turn towards the elevator, then went back inside and closed his door.

Returning to his bed, Taekwoon didn’t find the mood to continue with his current task, so he simply turned off his laptop and stored it back into the drawer.

* * *

The way Taekwoon stood in front of Wonshik’s apartment door, it felt like they never had a big fight. It’s almost as if the whole thing was just a bad dream, but Taekwoon knew for sure that it wasn’t.

Taekwoon pressed the bell first and waited until the ringtone stopped. When Wonshik still didn’t open the door, he inputted the passcode Wonshik told him the day before and let himself in.

From the sound of the running water and the muffled hum, Taekwoon could conclude that Wonshik was probably showering. Knowing that Wonshik would tell him to make himself at home, Taekwoon simply went to the kitchen and helped himself with the fancy coffee maker Wonshik had, and rummaged his shelves for some cookies. He could only find granola bar, but he simply shrugged and took some anyway.

As Taekwoon took the coffee and granola bar to the living area, Wonshik emerged from the bathroom and immediately yelped when he saw Taekwoon. Taekwoon was surprised by the sudden loud voice, but luckily he was composed enough not to drop anything.

“Oh, it’s just you, _Hyung_ … Sorry, I was surprised,” said Wonshik as he placed his hand on his chest—his _bare_ chest, and Taekwoon just had to look away so that he wouldn’t stare too long at it.

“Don’t blame me; you said I can come anytime,” said Taekwoon as he walked to the couch. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head, walking towards the sleeping area to get his clothes from the wardrobe.

“No, I don’t blame you. I’ve told you I’m just surprised,” said Wonshik. He quickly put on some comfortable clothes and joined Taekwoon at the couch. He turned on the TV on some random home shopping channel and turned the volume down, using it just as background noise.

“So, what do you want to talk about?” asked Taekwoon as he opened a granola bar, munching it while waiting for Wonshik to speak.

“Well, first off… I want to apologize. I’ve been mean to you, and said things that I know might hurt you. I regret what I’ve done. I’m sorry,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon stopped munching on the bar, pushing it back into the wrapper and played with it in his hand as he listened and thought.

“I’ve done pretty much the same to you. I guess we’re even then,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik let out a long sigh, smiling a bit.

“Does it mean that you’ve forgiven me?” asked Wonshik slowly. Taekwoon shrugged as he put down the leftover granola to the coffee table.

“Only if you’ve forgiven me too,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik nodded as he crossed his arms.

“Fair enough. Anyway, I also think that… We started this reunion the wrong way. We should’ve started out as brothers first, like how we used to be,” said Wonshik. Then, softly, he added, “ _Hyung_ … I don’t want us to be strangers. At the very least, let me be your brother again.”

Wonshik looked straight to Taekwoon with something that looked like loneliness and misery, and Taekwoon wanted nothing else but to hold him in his arms. Scooting closer, Taekwoon circled his arms around Wonshik and held him as much as he could in their position. He felt how Wonshik unfolded his arms and held him loosely too, sighing softly to his shoulder.

They stayed like that for a while, until Wonshik nudged Taekwoon away and they let go of each other. Taekwoon glanced down to Wonshik’s lips, suddenly feeling like to kiss him, and he leaned closer again. But before their lips could touch, Wonshik put up his hand between them.

“What did I say about being brothers again?” whispered Wonshik. Taekwoon blinked slowly, then chuckled and leaned back.

“So… Just brothers?” asked Taekwoon.

“For now, just brothers,” replied Wonshik.


	18. Chapter 18

Wonshik came back to work with much lighter mind. He had finally talked properly with Taekwoon, and it felt like they’re finally catching up what they’d missed during their long years of separation. Wonshik still kept quiet about how both of their mothers knew about their relationship, but he did tell Taekwoon that his mother disliked both Taekwoon and his mother. Taekwoon seemed to understand, especially since he had seen how Wonshik’s mother reacted badly upon Wonshik’s decision to stay with the Jung family after his father’s death.

Still, Wonshik was a bit worried about the thing Taekwoon said. The last time Taekwoon met his mother, Taekwoon felt that she didn’t seem too happy to see Wonshik. Wonshik told him that she’s probably just feeling awkward meeting him so suddenly like that, and Taekwoon didn’t comment further. Whether Taekwoon bought that reasoning nor not, Wonshik didn’t know for sure. He just hoped that Taekwoon wouldn’t think too much on it and starting to ask his mother around.

“Wow, you actually look _much_ younger this way,” commented Sunhye as Wonshik stepped into the set. The makeup artist did try not to put too much makeup on him, and the stylists gave him a casual style to make him look like college student rather than a mature businessman for once.

“Well, _someone_ told me that I look like I’m about to go for military service with this cut,” said Wonshik with a chuckle.

“Oh, are you? You’re around that age after all,” asked Sunhye.

“No, no. I’ve already served back when I was in college. My haircut was actually shorter than this,” replied Wonshik as he gestured just about how long his hair was at that time. Sunhye laughed at the mental image of nearly-bald Wonshik, while Wonshik smiled wider at her.

The shoot went smoothly, and the staff commented that it’s because Wonshik and Sunhye were pretty much veteran on dramas already. By evening, they wrapped up the filming for that day, and called Sanghyuk over to announce the drama’s upcoming press conference.

“Whoa, _Hyung_!! You actually look younger than me like this!” commented Sanghyuk after he saw Wonshik’s new appearance.

“Should I start calling you ‘ _hyung_ ’ and talk formally to you now?” teased Wonshik. Sanghyuk quickly shook his head.

“Ack, no, please don’t. I’m too used to be the youngest practically everywhere; don’t take that away from me,” replied Sanghyuk with a wince.

After some more light chit-chat, the meeting finally started. There were only a few days left of the filming, if everything went smoothly. They already had half of the whole series done and ready to be aired, so it’s safe enough to begin airing and had a press conference about it. The drama would be the first time Wonshik landed on a ‘commoner’ character after his long list of conglomerates and young master roles, so he was notified about the number of questions that would be bombarding him. For Sanghyuk, too, it was the first time he landed on a young master _and_ main love interest role, so he was notified as well.

Since the producer wanted to keep their roles as a secret until the very last second, Wonshik and Sanghyuk were instructed to just style themselves according to what’s expected of them—Wonshik with his usual posh style, and Sanghyuk with his youthful style. The producer was very sure that the reporters would completely lose it when they showed the trailer to the public for the first time. She hoped that it would push the rate up marginally too.

They ran some possible questions that would be directed to them and prepared the answers to them, correcting and polishing their words as good as possible. When they finally wrapped up the meeting, it was already late, and everyone quickly dismissed themselves since they still had more work to do on the next day.

“By the way, Ravi- _hyung_ , do you happen to know a good photographer? I think I’ll need to update my photo portfolio after this drama airs, but my agency doesn’t seem to have good connection to photographers that are good on capturing matured looks,” asked Sanghyuk as they were preparing to return home.

“I don’t really know about it either… Usually I let my agency handles it all,” replied Wonshik. But after a quick thought, he added, “Still, I happen to personally know a photographer that can capture the side of you that no one else has ever seen before. I’ll send you his studio address and phone number; you can contact him yourself.”

“You make it sound like I’m about to sign a contract with the devil or something…” commented Sanghyuk softly. Wonshik bursted a laugh hearing that.

“Kind of, I guess. But I guarantee his work’s quality. I can confidently say that he’s the one responsible for doubling my popularity,” said Wonshik as he took out his phone and sent the contact information to Sanghyuk. Sanghyuk’s phone beeped right away, and he quickly checked it to see just who Wonshik was talking about.

Upon seeing the name written in the text sent to him, Sanghyuk widened his eyes.

“Wait, isn’t this—”

“The photographer responsible for my ‘Hades’ and ‘Dionysus’ photoshoot. With some talk, I believe you can make his makeup artist partner to work with you as well,” said Wonshik with a wide, meaningful smile.

* * *

“Are you coming to the press conference?” asked Wonshik as he settled on one of the long benches, waiting for his turn. He used his little resting time to call Taekwoon, since he knew that the invitations had been sent.

“No. They sent our online team, Hyeju and Ilran. We need to get the first news out as soon as possible after all,” replied Taekwoon.

“Hmm, but you’ll watch the presscon on TV, right?” asked Wonshik again.

“Just tell me that you want me to watch it, brat,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled in reply, seeing Taekwoon’s pout clearly in his mind.

“Yeah, I want you to watch it. This one’s a big shot for me,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon hummed, probably shrugging too.

“Park- _nim_ will probably force us all to watch it, so okay. I’ll definitely watch the presscon, trailer, and first episode,” said Taekwoon.

“Good. I have to go back to work, so bye, I guess? Good luck with your article,” said Wonshik.

“You too; good luck with the filming,” replied Taekwoon. With that, Wonshik cut the call and went looking for his manager to keep his phone.

But before he could find Daetuk, his phone rang again in the tone he set specifically for one person. With a wide grin, Wonshik quickly answered the call.

“Jiwon!! Hey, how are you? How’s Paris?” greeted Wonshik enthusiastically.

“Hello, _Oppa_! I’m fine! Paris is so-so, I guess. I miss home,” replied Jiwon. She sounded cheerful, and that’s enough to make Wonshik felt a lot at ease.

“Well, you just have to bear with it, I guess. Your study is going well too, right? My sister is so smart; I’m sure you’re doing amazing,” said Wonshik, praising her unabashedly to the point Jiwon giggled from the other end of the call.

“You’re too much. But yes, my study is going very well. I have to work hard for my dearest brother who has paid for my tuition after all,” replied Jiwon. Wonshik frowned at the statement. Him paying for Jiwon’s tuition? He had never heard of it. As far as he knew, it’s their mother who paid it.

“Me? Isn’t mother paying for that?” asked Wonshik, making sure.

“No, mother said she took it from your account,” replied Jiwon. She gasped and added carefully, “Can it be that she took it without your consent? _Oppa_ , have you never checked your own balance?”

Wonshik ran his fingers among his hair, feeling a bit dizzy over the reveal. Sure, he had several accounts to make sure that he wouldn’t spend all of his paycheck in one go, and that he had entrusted one of those to his mother. But he didn’t really expect that she’d really dig into his money without asking him in advance. Besides, didn’t their mother have plenty enough money to pay for Jiwon’s tuition? It’s her idea to send Jiwon studying in Paris after all.

“ _Oppa_ , are you still there?” asked Jiwon.

“Yeah, still here. The connection was a bit bad, maybe,” said Wonshik, lying a little.

“Anyway, I’ll be coming home for a while next week. Seeing how mother missed me so much she visited me here, I think you must be missing me even more. It’s okay with you, right?” said Jiwon.

“You’re just in time; my drama filming will be wrapped up by next week so I can accompany you anywhere while you’re here,” said Wonshik.

“Great! I’ll see you next week then~ Don’t work too hard,” said Jiwon. With a short goodbye, Wonshik ended the call and sighed.

He’s happy that he could meet Jiwon again, but he wasn’t really thrilled to meet their mother. Still, that’s the price he’d gladly pay to be able to meet with his beloved sister again.

* * *

It felt rather awkward to have Hakyeon greeting him cheerfully after how the last time they met. The awkwardness was plaguing Taekwoon even more as he let Hakyeon did his makeup. Sure, it’s not the first time he let Hakyeon used his face as a canvas during their college years, but back then Hakyeon wasn’t dating Hongbin and Taekwoon had never slept with Hongbin.

“This should do it,” said Hakyeon with a wide smile. He looked really satisfied with himself.

As Taekwoon checked his appearance in the mirror, he thought that Hakyeon really was good. It didn’t look like he was having any makeup on, but his features were obviously corrected and highlighted.

“With that face, you surely can seduce anyone you want,” commented Hakyeon lightly. Taekwoon couldn’t help but get a twinge in his chest after hearing that. He took a quick glance and saw how Hongbin seemed to get a phone call and stepped out from the studio a little, and he used the chance to talk to Hakyeon.

“Hakyeon, look… I’m sorry for sleeping with your boyfriend,” said Taekwoon. Hakyeon snorted and chuckled at that.

“What? You think that I’m still mad about it? I’ve got over it. I admit that I got jealous and went overboard on you too. I should apologize too, I think,” said Hakyeon.

“I just… want to get it off my chest. And I’ve heard from Won—Ravi, that there really is nothing happened between you two that day,” said Taekwoon. Hakyeon smiled a little and quickly dragged a stool to sit beside Taekwoon, seemingly wanting to talk a bit more with him.

“Nothing sexual happens, but I did try to seduce him. _Heavens_ , he’s really stubborn. Anyway, he talked a lot about you. He really cares about you, you know?” said Hakyeon. Taekwoon chuckled at that.

“With that body, that face, and that popularity, can you believe how stubborn he is about being single?” asked Taekwoon with a smirk. Hakyeon narrowed his eyes at Taekwoon.

“He diiiiid say that you two are fucking, though. So, how does it work? Monogamous sex buddy? I mean, both of you mentioned about not dating each other,” asked Hakyeon. Taekwoon felt like to drag both hands across his own face, and he would probably do it if he didn’t remember that he’s having some makeup on.

“Sort of like that, I guess… But for now, we’re just friends,” said Taekwoon. Hakyeon gave him a sympathetic look and soft pats on the shoulder.

“Sounds rough. But I firmly believe that you can seduce him again if you want to,” said Hakyeon with a wink. Taekwoon wanted to retort, saying that it didn’t work that way anymore with them, but the studio door was opened and Hongbin wasn’t alone.

“Guys, I hope you won’t mind if we have a guest? This is Sanghyuk; he wants to see our photoshoot process a bit,” said Hongbin as he pointed to the tall man beside him. The man looked very young, and yet he managed to make Hongbin looked small beside him although Hongbin wasn’t small at all.

“Hello, I’m Han Sanghyuk from BIPS Entertainment. Sorry for the intrusion,” greeted the man with a deep bow.

“Hi there! I’m N, co-owner of this studio and makeup artist,” greeted Hakyeon with a business smile he saved for new people he had just met. Taekwoon watched how Sanghyuk’s eyes widened upon hearing the name.

“N- _ssi_? N- _ssi_ as in the legendary makeup artist N- _ssi_?” asked Sanghyuk in disbelief. Hakyeon’s smile got wider, and Taekwoon swore he was puffing his chest up over Sanghyuk’s surprise.

“Yes, that will be me,” said Hakyeon. Sanghyuk looked flustered, and Taekwoon saw how Hongbin seemed to be having a hard time containing his snort. They shared a look, and Hongbin just raised his eyebrows with a smug smirk.

“We’re just about to start the shoot. I’ll mostly go nonverbal once I get to work, but I’m sure N can fill in the silence,” said Hongbin as he quickly went towards the side of the studio where he had everything set up. Taekwoon followed him without being asked, wanting the shoot to be done really soon.

Since the weather had gone bad for the past few days, Hongbin decided that they’d just move the photoshoot to the studio. He felt that it’s easier to move some of Hakyeon’s plant collection than trying to install lighting inside Hakyeon’s ‘greenhouse’. Still, since moving too many plants was a hassle too, they ended up only with a few selected ones. Personally, Taekwoon felt that the current set was cozier than being in Hakyeon’s greenhouse. The wooden steps used to fill in the space, and the golden retro chair, all felt more in element with Taekwoon.

Hongbin handed Taekwoon a bouquet of white flowers and gave him a little direction. Basically Hongbin asked Taekwoon to do whatever pose he was comfortable with while holding that bouquet and basically ignoring the camera. He specifically asked Taekwoon to act like he was just hanging out alone, just daydreaming, and completely ignore the camera. He didn’t know whether he could pull it off or not, but for the time being he thought he’d just try.

For the first ten minutes, Taekwoon could pretend like he really was alone in that room, just relaxing and playing with the bouquet in his hand. But as the time passed, he could no longer feel relaxed with _someone_ staring at him.

“Um… Sanghyuk- _ssi_? Can I ask you not to stare at me?” asked Taekwoon with a frown. Hongbin quickly stopped and turned towards their guest, and it obviously made Sanghyuk flustered.

“Ah, sorry. I just… what agency are you from?” asked Sanghyuk.

“None. I’m not a professional model, and I’m not interested to be one,” replied Taekwoon coldly.

“I see… That’s too bad. I think you have the potential—well maybe not in my agency, but I’m currently working with Ravi- _hyung_ so maybe he can recommend you to _GROOVL1N_ ,” babbled Sanghyuk. Taekwoon snorted when he heard those names.

“No need, seriously. And, no, thank you, I don’t even want to _think_ about getting into _GROOVL1N_ ,” replied Taekwoon flatly.

“Huh, why?” asked Sanghyuk quickly.

“Working in the same company as my brother’s is just totally no good,” replied Taekwoon. Sanghyuk widened his eyes in surprise.

“You have a brother in _GROOVL1N_?” asked Sanghyuk. Taekwoon let out a long sigh.

“Do we need to take a break?” asked Hongbin, still squatting down. For a moment, Taekwoon really forgot that he’s still there.

“No need. Let’s get this done soon,” replied Taekwoon. He then glared at Sanghyuk and said, “You. Shut up. And stop staring at me.”

Sanghyuk slowly nodded at that, and Taekwoon quickly tried to focus back on his shoot. Still, he could feel Sanghyuk’s eyes on him, and he was about to blow off again if Hakyeon didn’t tell Sanghyuk to just have a chat outside. With those two out of the room, Taekwoon felt that he was much more relaxed.

After a while, Hongbin announced that Taekwoon could take a break while he’s reviewing the pictures. He also went out to call Hakyeon and Sanghyuk, inviting them to take a look at the preview pictures.

As they looked at the pictures on the studio’s TV linked to Hongbin’s laptop, Taekwoon couldn’t help but think that the pictures were really well-taken. He hated to admit it, but the pictures Hongbin took really made him felt like he was an actual professional model.

“Hmm… I think I’ll change the props’ arrangement a bit and take some more pictures. Is that okay with you?” asked Hongbin.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” replied Taekwoon.

“Have you decided on using our service or not?” asked Hakyeon. Sanghyuk nodded firmly.

“Can I schedule an appointment?” asked Sanghyuk, looking at Hakyeon and Hongbin. Hongbin simply cocked his head towards Hakyeon, and Hakyeon nodded at that.

“I’ll arrange that for you. Let’s go outside to discuss it,” said Hakyeon as he led Sanghyuk outside again.

Hongbin rearrange the props like he said he would, with some help from Taekwoon. They were moving in silence, but then Hongbin just couldn’t help his curiosity any longer.

“Do you really not like Ravi- _ssi_ back?” asked Hongbin. The question was so sudden and it caught Taekwoon off-guard. He looked at Hongbin with widened eyes, confused about where that question came from.

“Why you asked that so suddenly?” asked Taekwoon back.

“Just curious. He looks like he’s devoted to you,” said Hongbin. Taekwoon sighed and shrugged.

“Well, do you not love Hakyeon the way he said he loves you? I mean, you can stay devoted to him while still screwing around with others, right?” asked Taekwoon.

“What we have is different from what you and Ravi- _ssi_ has. Hakyeon and I made an agreement to have our relationship like this. From what I’ve learned, you and Ravi- _ssi_ has no such agreement,” said Hongbin. Taekwoon snorted and shook his head.

“Well we’ve just recently agreed to stay as brothers and just brothers,” replied Taekwoon.

“You both agree with that?” asked Hongbin again.

“It has nothing to do with you. We only fucked once and suddenly you got possessive?” replied Taekwoon.

“I’m not. Like I said, I’m just curious,” said Hongbin.

“Well, Mr. Curious, it’s none of your business. And if you’re done with the rearranging, let’s just get started,” said Taekwoon. Hongbin shrugged and gave Taekwoon some direction for the pose before taking a few steps back.

“One last question… How if he just wants to remain as brothers and nothing else with you?” asked Hongbin.

Taekwoon turned towards him despite Hongbin’s request on ignoring the camera, then said with a solemn smile, “Then I’m glad that at least we’re not mere strangers.”

A click, a flash, and that brief expression was captured.


	19. Chapter 19

No matter how many times Wonshik had gone through it, press conference would always be nerve-wrecking for him. Sunye looked calm enough, although Wonshik caught her tensing up every once in a while. Wonshik himself couldn’t stop playing with his sleeve’s button, picking on it until one of the stylists approached him to check if there’s anything wrong with it.

“The clothing is fine. I’m just nervous,” said Wonshik as the stylist checked on the button.

“You’ll be fine, Ravi- _ssi_ ,” she said offhandedly before she went away to check on others. Wonshik only sighed at that, looking around to find his manager so at least he could talk down his nerves a bit.

But before he could find Daetuk anywhere, he found Sanghyuk sitting alone in one of the couches. His gaze seemed to be fixated on the floor, and Wonshik guessed that he’s probably just as nervous as he was. Without thinking too much, Wonshik decided to just join him on the couch and maybe talked a little.

“Nervous?” asked Wonshik as he took a seat. Sanghyuk looked at him with a startled expression, before it melted into a sheepish smile.

“Yeah. This is the first time I played the main male character after all. I’m nervous about what people will say about it, especially since you played the rival character,” said Sanghyuk.

“Well… people usually hate a new thing they don’t know, especially if it’s the opposite from what they usually have. Like, if you’re used to use a minty mouthwash, it’ll feel weird to drink mint tea or eat mint ice cream, since you’re used to associate the minty flavor to the mouthwash. But once they get used to it, that thing can turn into something they like a lot,” said Wonshik. Sanghyuk smiled at the words, feeling a lot less nervous.

“Thanks, _Hyung_. As expected from a veteran,” said Sanghyuk. Wonshik chuckled loudly at that.

“Come on, I’m only 2 years older than you! I’m not a veteran yet,” said Wonshik. Sanghyuk grinned widely at Wonshik’s reaction, clearly feeling satisfied after teasing him.

A staff entered the waiting room and announced that the event would be starting soon. They all got ready, giving each other some words of encouragement, then lined up to wait until their names were called out.

* * *

Just as expected, Park- _nim_ really gathered everyone to watch the presscon in the office’s recreation room. Some uninterested staff had already gone home, but most stayed behind since they got really intrigued.

“Anyone get any leaks about the drama?” asked Park- _nim_. Everyone shook their heads—the whole drama was kept secret _very_ tightly. So far, all they knew was the production crews, and the fact that Sunye and Ravi were a part of the cast.

“Taekwoon, anything from Ravi?” whispered Park- _nim_ , since she had found out that the two were somewhat related.

“We don’t talk about work outside work,” whispered Taekwoon back. _Besides, it’s not like we were in good terms with each other when the filming happened_ , added Taekwoon internally.

“Come on; I gave you the hospital information when he passed out during the filming. Is there really _nothing_ you can tell me about the drama?” asked Park- _nim_.

“All I know is that Ravi has his hair dyed black and cut short like he’s about to enlist,” replied Taekwoon. Park- _nim_ raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“Enlistment, huh…? Well he’s around that age already…” she commented.

The event finally started, and as usual they introduced the producer, director, and writer first. All of them were well-known to make new trends in drama, so everyone was looking forward to what they’d bring to the screen this time.

Next in line, they introduced the main character, Sunye. As usual, she looked elegantly beautiful. Taekwoon already noted down to search some broken white brocade dress like she wore, since he knew that it would surely become trend after the presscon.

After she took her place, Wonshik and a newcomer actor entered the stage at the same time, introduced as the love interest and love rival. It was rather unusual to introduce two casts at the same time, but Taekwoon’s focus was more to the newcomer.

“I know that guy. He went to _Saboten_ last weekend,” said Taekwoon when Sanghyuk’s face filled the screen.

“ _Saboten_? Isn’t that Hongbin and N’s studio? What was he doing there?” asked Park- _nim_.

“He wants to use their service, _duh_. I didn’t see his manager, though, so it can be a personal photoshoot,” replied Taekwoon flatly. Park- _nim_ narrowed her eyes upon hearing that answer.

“And what were _you_ doing there, Writer Jung?” she asked. Taekwoon cursed himself internally for running his mouth, but what had been spilled couldn’t be taken back.

“It’s mostly secret, but Hongbin is about to have an exhibition and I’m in charge of something there. So if you, by any means, haven’t thrown out the exclusive interview I wrote about Hongbin and N, I think it’s best to release it in the next issue,” replied Taekwoon.

“Well, although you get nothing on Ravi’s drama, I’ll give you some plus point for telling me about Hongbin’s upcoming exhibition. Tell me the details tomorrow, first thing in the morning,” said Park- _nim_ quickly, since she saw how the main drama crews had finished talking about the overall of the story.

“Rather than introducing the casts and roles, we’d like to present you the trailer instead. Please enjoy,” said the producer with a wide smile. Everyone only had a few seconds to be confused, before the trailer was played.

Sunye appeared first, introduced as ‘Im Yeoreum’. The short scenes were showing that she’s working as a Graphic Designer, seemingly working as freelancer who later got a project from a big company. She looked excited to land on such an important job, and determined to do her best.

But in the next cut, her design proposal was thrown to the floor, and she hurriedly collected it. A foot with shiny dress shoes stepped on one of the sheets, and she looked up slowly. As the camera panned up, everyone was expecting to see Wonshik’s face at the end of it.

So when Sanghyuk’s face filled the screen instead, along with his character introduction as ‘Han Jaegyu’, everyone was flabbergasted. Jaws were dropping to the floor, and murmurs of ‘what’ and ‘how’ were heard throughout the room.

Their surprise didn’t end there. The trailer continued with Yeoreum walking around to cheer herself up after Jaegyu’s harsh rejection. She found a little cafe, and entered it with a sure step.

When the cafe’s door swung open, a red-haired man turned around from behind the counter, and once again caused everyone to exclaim loudly. Standing behind the counter with black hoodie and apron, introduced as ‘Bom Haneul’, was Wonshik.

“You said his hair is black!” protested Park- _nim_ to Taekwoon immediately.

“You saw it yourself in the presscon; it’s black! I don’t know why it’s still red here! There must be an explanation somewhere,” retorted Taekwoon.

As if on cue, there were cuts of black-haired Wonshik that looked far younger than he usually was. It seemed to be flashbacks, showing a little about how Haneul and Yeoreum had known each other since their younger days. Then, like the usual love triangle drama, there were cuts showing Jaegyu and Yeoreum’s love-hate dynamics, and how Jaegyu and Haneul disliked each other, complete with some captions that showed how Yeoreum would have to choose one of them in the end.

The trailer ended with the title of the drama, ‘LaLa Love’, and the time of the first episode’s airing.

When the camera went back to the event’s venue, the casts and crews looked really satisfied on what they saw. Surely everyone present in that presscon was surprised to finally see the roles Sanghyuk and Wonshik played as, since it was far too different than what they first thought. It was far easier to guess that Wonshik would be playing as the rich main love interest, and Sanghyuk as the mediocre love rival. Yet, the trailer showed that they’re promising enough to play as the roles that were opposite from what people expected.

“I can see many surprised faces here in this room. Then, shall we open the Q&A session?” said the MC.

The whole hall was in an uproar.

* * *

The light was on when Wonshik returned to his apartment, and it wasn’t too hard to understand why. He hadn’t even finished pulling off his shoes when Taekwoon approached him, looking somewhat offended for something Wonshik didn’t know yet.

“What the hell are you thinking about?” asked Taekwoon directly.

“About what, exactly?” asked Wonshik back as he walked towards the bathroom to throw his socks into the laundry bin.

“The role you took in that drama. What the hell are you thinking when you accepted that role?” asked Taekwoon.

“I didn’t accept that; I auditioned for that role. I was supposed to be Jaegyu at first, but I just don’t want to,” replied Wonshik as he emerged from the bathroom, going to the kitchen this time to wash his hands and get some drinks from his fridge.

“ _That’s_ even more of a question. Why did you audition for that role?” pressed Taekwoon even further.

“Is this Writer Jung speaking, or just Taekwoon- _hyung_?” asked Wonshik as he sat down on the couch. Taekwoon immediately sat beside him and glared at him.

“Just answer the damn question!” demanded Taekwoon. Wonshik sighed and rolled his neck.

“Just because. I’m fed up with all the same role I have to take every single time I’m casted in a drama. It’s no fun at all,” replied Wonshik nonchalantly.

“But does it really have to be this role? A character who is far too similar to ‘Kim Wonshik’?” asked Taekwoon.

Slowly, Wonshik turned to face Taekwoon. He could see the concern in his feline-like eyes, and Wonshik knew that Taekwoon was less concerned about his role as a commoner. His main concern was, probably, the fact that Wonshik played a role where he fell in love with his own step-sibling. If people found out that his acting was real, that he did it based on his actual experience, then they would probably start digging on his past and found Taekwoon. Even worse, they could even find out about their forbidden relationship, destroying both of them completely.

“Are you afraid that people will find out about us?” asked Wonshik.

“No. I’m afraid that ‘Ravi’ will become your real self, while ‘Kim Wonshik’ regressed into some fictional character that only exists in a drama,” replied Taekwoon.

Wonshik widened his eyes in disbelief. He had never thought about that. For him, he just wanted to break free from the stereotype branded on him. He just wanted to be himself, somewhere, somehow. The thought about how his lies would become truth while his truth would become lies, it never occurred to him.

“It’s… I never thought of it like that,” said Wonshik slowly, “I just want to be myself—to be Kim Wonshik, not Ravi. That drama, that role, gave me that chance. That’s why I took it.”

“Aren’t you just… going to lose yourself even further? Rejecting who you really are? Just like how you can’t see your own pictures in those ‘Hades’ photoshoot?” asked Taekwoon.

Wonshik sighed and folded his arms, sinking further into the couch. Taekwoon was right; he would probably just hate himself even more. The only thing that prevented him from bailing out on his role as ‘Bom Haneul’ was the fact that he hadn’t seen the whole thing by himself. He left most of the reviews to the filming crews, especially when the situations were too similar to what actually happened to him.

“Wonshik…” called Taekwoon softly, concernedly. He hesitated a little, but he slowly reached out to stroke Wonshik’s head. Wonshik looked like he could cry anytime, and it really made Taekwoon wanted to hold him close.

“ _Hyung_ , can you spend a night here? I don’t want to be alone for now,” asked Wonshik quietly. Taekwoon smiled a little, still stroking Wonshik’s head softly.

“Do you really think I’ll leave you alone when you look like this? Of course I’ll stay,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik smiled a little in gratitude, sighing softly.

That night, Taekwoon let Wonshik held him close as they slept together, with Wonshik burying his face on Taekwoon’s chest like a lonely child.


	20. Chapter 20

Jiwon’s return to Korea was something Wonshik looked forward a lot. He had made sure that his schedules were clear when she got home, so he could pick her up at the airport. It truly was a delight to be able to meet her again after being restricted to video calls only for the past year. She looked cheerful and positively glowing, eating _very_ well when Wonshik brought her to eat all Korean food she couldn’t eat while she was overseas.

But of course, his happy days was interrupted when their mother once again brought up the topic of matchmaking.

“I have reserved a private room already. She’s studying Pharmacology too, just like Jiwon. You’ll like her,” said their mother lightly over breakfast.

The coffee he had for breakfast suddenly felt more bitter. He’s in a situation where he couldn’t dodge, couldn’t say that his schedule was jam-packed because he had emptied it especially for Jiwon.

“Does it mean that I’ll have to stay home today?” asked Jiwon, sounding a bit disappointed that she couldn’t spend it outside with Wonshik. Their mother smiled widely and shook her head.

“Of course not! You’re coming with us. It’ll be good for you to get a new friend while you’re here in Korea,” she said.

“It’s not like I don’t have any friends here, though… But okay, adding a new acquaintance doesn't sound like a bad idea,” replied Jiwon with a smile.

Wonshik could only sip his coffee, knowing that the last nail of his coffin had been hammered down.

* * *

Compared to all other matchmaking dinner Wonshik had gone through, this one was something he couldn’t predict at all. With Jiwon and their mother staying at the table instead of leaving him and the new candidate, Wonshik couldn’t use his usual trick. He could only act politely like how their mother wanted it to be, all while hoping that this Hyewon girl would just leave.

Still, either fortunate or not, she seemed to hit it off with Jiwon. They talked a lot about their studies, comparing the subjects taught in Korea and France, and even discussing a topic on the newly found medicine or something that both Wonshik and their mother couldn’t follow up with.

“Children these days are so smart, don’t you think so, Wonshik? Look at them talking in a completely different level than us,” commented their mother, with a smile that was too sweet and filled with hidden poison. It clearly made both young women look flustered, and it ticked off Wonshik a lot.

“That’s fine, Mom. I think it’s great that both of them can discuss the things they’re passionate about with each other. Besides, Jiwon doesn’t have anyone she can talk to about all those stuffs at home. Let her have fun with her new friend,” replied Wonshik with a gentle smile. For once, all he said came from the bottom of his heart. He really was glad that Jiwon could have a friend to talk about all those stuffs.

“That was kind of you. Still, it seems that we’ve been inconsiderate. We apologize for that,” replied Hyewon politely.

“So, Hyewon… Apart from your study, is there anything else you like? Music, perhaps? Or maybe drama?” asked their mother with a smile, clearly trying to steer the conversation towards anything that Wonshik could lead.

“Speaking of which, _Oppa_ , you mentioned about how you’ve just finished filming a drama recently. Has it been aired?” asked Jiwon, following up smoothly.

“Yeah, it’s been aired since last week, scheduled every Wednesday and Thursday at 11PM on MBN. The title is ‘LaLa Love’,” replied Wonshik.

“You must be the main lead, right?” commented their mother, but Wonshik quickly shook his head.

“Not this time. I’m the love interest’s rival,” replied Wonshik with a satisfied smile, making their mother stared at him in disbelief.

“I’ve heard about your role there, since many of my friends are your fans and they’re watching the drama. At first they’re mad that you don’t become the usual dream-like young master in that drama, but lately they seem to accept your role already. They even make jokes about where to find a cute cafe with such a handsome barista around here,” commented Hyewon.

Wonshik was about to ask whether she watched the drama or not, when he heard a loud snort from his mother.

“A barista? Our Wonshik? Seriously? You barely ever do anything by yourself, and suddenly you become a barista?” she said loudly with a mocking tone.

“It’s just a role, Mom. Besides, it’s not like I don’t have any real experience in food service industry,” replied Wonshik. He tried to look calm, but inside he had started to feel really fed up with his mother. She’s the one who arranged the dinner and nagged him every day to have a nice conversation with the person she introduced, and yet she’s also the one ruining the current situation.

“You’ve worked in food service industry before?” asked Hyewon. She seemed to be trying to lighten up the mood without knowing that the topic about Wonshik’s life while he was staying with his father was a big taboo. Wonshik could just brush it off and talk about something else, but his mood had turned sour and he decided to ignore any negative vibe his mother was giving.

“Yes. My late father ran a restaurant—”

“ _I’ve told you to never talk about that wretched place!!_ ” shrieked his mother as she stood, slamming both hands to the table. The dishes and cutlery clanked with each other, and the sudden loud sound startled the two young women.

There was raging flame in her eyes as she glared at Wonshik; the same raging flame that burned that day when she came to pick him up from the funeral hall. At that time, what fueled it was Wonshik’s firm rejection to return with her. It was the decision he made with full knowledge that his birth mother was already running a successful business that didn’t necessarily needed his help, while Taekwoon and his mother still needed him. He knew that when Taekwoon’s mother decided to remarry with his father, her family casted her away. They needed him more than his own birth mother.

That time, after Wonshik gave his answer, his mother threw an angry fit, cursing at Taekwoon and Taekwoon’s mother, to the point that other visitors had to help them dragging her out of the funeral hall.

Even after so many years had passed, her fury still hadn’t died yet.

“Mom, please sit down. You scare Hyewon- _ssi_ ,” said Wonshik calmly. She scoffed as she folded her arms, looking like seconds away from completely losing it.

“Is this part of your little plan? Huh? Angering me in front of the candidate I brought to you to ruin everything? Just how ungrateful can you be?” asked his mother angrily.

“Mom, enough,” warned Wonshik.

“I raised you! I raised you with my own two hands! But you chose to go with that cheating bastard, and stayed with that wicked witch after he died!” she continued angrily.

“Mom, stop it! That’s too much!” protested Jiwon as she stood up as well. Their mother glared at her, looking like a wild beast being awakened from her sleep.

“Too much? _Too much_?! _What do you know about my hardship, you spoiled brat—!_ ”

“That’s enough!” scolded Wonshik as he stood up. “We have a guest. Behave yourse—”

Wonshik didn’t have the chance to finish his sentence, since his mother forcefully slapped him. Both Hyewon and Jiwon gasped at it, not expecting that she would go that far.

“You ungrateful, insolent—”

“Jiwon, please takeHyewon- _ssi_ home. Hyewon- _ssi_ , we’re sorry that you have to see this,” said Wonshik quickly in-between his mother’s curses to him. Hyewon seemed to be too shocked for anything, so she just nodded and let Jiwon led her out.

Returning his focus to the still cursing mother, Wonshik vaguely thought about just how things had changed since the first time he returned to her. At that time, he was scared. He was still very young and powerless, and her words about how she would hurt the Jung family if Wonshik behaved badly scared him a lot. The threat sounded very real to him and he tried his best to please her so that she wouldn’t do anything to them.

But after so many years, after Wonshik learned more about the world and the truth around him, her curses and threats sounded like some pathetic barks. He was no longer a boy who could only cry helplessly as his mother took his phone, erased all of his online accounts, and destroyed the phone itself right in front of his eyes as a warning to never come in contact with the Jung family anymore.

“Mom, stop. If you continue yelling like that, they may call the police and things can get downhill from there. There will be reporters once they know that I get involved. If there are reporters, then there will be bad rumors spreading around. You don’t want that, do you?” said Wonshik as he held her shoulders firmly, stopping her from yelling some more.

“Then so be it. Finally you’ll remember how to behave to your mother,” she hissed. Wonshik sighed and shook his head tiredly.

“Are you sure that you’re ready to go down with me? Mom, I’m used to negative rumors spreading about me, but what about you? What about the hotel?” asked Wonshik.

At the mention about the hotel, she widened her eyes. She finally realized that risking her own reputation meant that she’s risking her business’ reputation, and she couldn’t do that. With a scrunched face and suppressed anger, she slapped Wonshik’s hand away from her shoulder. Although she still looked visibly angry, at least Wonshik knew that she wouldn’t start yelling again.

Just a moment later, the private room’s door was knocked and a firm voice was heard, “Is everything alright, dear customers?”

It seemed that his mother’s yell was heard until the corridor, or perhaps the security saw how they seemed to be fighting in the CCTV. Either way, Wonshik was glad that he managed to stop his mother’s yell just in time.

“Everything is fine, thank you,” replied Wonshik. He then turned to his mother, feeling partially thankful that her makeup and hairdo were still intact even after all the flailing and everything. “We’re just about to go. You can clean the room.”

Wonshik waited until his mother picked up her purse from the chair and escorted her out. Both of them managed to give a professional smile to the server as they walked past him, acting as if the whole mess inside the private room never happened.

She made Wonshik paid for the dinner, and refused to let Wonshik return with her once he got a taxi for them.

“I’ll only get a headache if I see your face more than this. Go somewhere else tonight; I don’t want to see you at home,” she said coldly before she slammed the taxi door closed.

With a long sigh, he watched as the taxi went away. He didn’t mind spending more than one night away with his mother—it’s far better for his sanity to stay away from her as often as possible. Still, that night he didn’t feel like going back to his own apartment, so he pondered about calling one of his friends or even his manager to crash at their place.

He hadn’t finished pondering when he received a message from Jiwon, saying that she had escorted Hyewon home safely, and that Hyewon asked her to stay since she was concerned about Jiwon if she returned home to their angry mother. Jiwon asked him what to do, and Wonshik agreed to let Jiwon stay at Hyewon’s place. He gave Jiwon his apartment’s address and passcode, in case she wanted to stay out of their house until it’s time for her to return to France. She thanked him for that, and told him to stay safe.

As he closed the chat, he saw his previous chat with Taekwoon. He felt a sudden urge to meet him, so he pressed the call button and waited.

“Hello?” answered Taekwoon.

“Hey, _Hyung_ … Can I crash at your place tonight?”


	21. Chapter 21

The moment Taekwoon opened the door for Wonshik, he felt a little nostalgic. Back when they still lived together, there were times when Wonshik came home late because he had supplementary classes. He had his own spare key, so Taekwoon didn’t have to greet him at the door every time, but he just did.

“Sorry for intruding,” said Wonshik as he entered, breaking Taekwoon’s memory. He was no longer the brother who lived under the same roof, but just a guest visiting his house.

“Make yourself at home. It’s a bit messy, though,” said Taekwoon as he led Wonshik to the dining area. He let Wonshik sit as he took some bottled tea from the fridge and two glasses for them.

Wonshik hadn’t said anything about why he wanted to crash at Taekwoon’s place, and Taekwoon hadn’t asked about it too. From a short observation, though, it seemed that it’s the matchmaking problem again. Still, he couldn’t be too sure since Wonshik also mentioned that his beloved sister Jiwon was coming home that week. Him dressing up nicely like that could be because he was taking Jiwon on a date around the city rather than a matchmaking meeting.

“Are you not going to ask why I’m here?” asked Wonshik with a small, tired smile.

“If you’re not comfortable to tell me, I won’t ask,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik’s lips twitched up a bit more, before he gave a long sigh.

“I was at a matchmaking dinner, along with my mom and Jiwon. The current match happens to be a Pharmacy student like Jiwon, so the two of them were having a good time with each other. It was fun. For the first time ever, the matchmaking dinner was fun instead of suffocating,” said Wonshik. He was smiling to himself as he recalled the good memories, and Taekwoon could feel a pang of jealousy in his heart.

“But of course, my mom just had to ruin the mood. I sort of made it worse too, and everything just—” Wonshik made a gesture akin to throwing something to the ground, complete with the sound effect, “—went into the drain like that. Mom cursed at me, Jiwon left with that woman, and I got banished from home.”

Wonshik sighed again and ran his fingers through his perfectly styled hair. “So much about wanting to give Jiwon some good time while she’s here with me…” murmured Wonshik.

“You really love Jiwon, don’t you? I mean, even back then, all you talk about is Jiwon. If dad and you didn’t tell us from the beginning that you have a little sister, I’d think that she’s your girlfriend or something,” commented Taekwoon. Wonshik grinned and chuckled at that.

“What, _Hyung_ , are you jealous? Do you want me to talk about you all the time the way I talk about Jiwon?” asked Wonshik teasingly. Taekwoon reached over to give him a light slap, which Wonshik dodged with a giggle.

“No, I’m just… I don’t know, intrigued? I mean, I’ve seen her in pictures and stories, but I’ve never really met her. Technically, she’s my sister too, isn’t she?” replied Taekwoon.

“Your sisters are technically my sisters too, then, but I’ve never seen them either,” commented Wonshik.

“And I’ve never talked about them anyway. What, do you suddenly want to gather our families together or something? Your mother’s gonna get aneurysm from that,” replied Taekwoon.

“Yeah, you’re kind of right… Besides, don’t your sisters sort of cutting ties with you and your mother because she married dad? I don’t think they’ll ever want to meet with me at all,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon could only shrug in reply.

“Speaking of which, did Jiwon want to see me anyway? I’m the son of the witch that took her dad away, ain’t I?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik also shrugged.

“All I know is that Jiwon isn’t as hostile as mom. If you want to meet her, I can ask whether she wants to meet you too or not,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon was seriously thinking about it, scrunching his eyebrows as he weighed the pros and cons.

“You don’t have to answer that now, or anytime soon. No need to think too hard about it,” commented Wonshik with a little smile. Taekwoon made a face, but then he realized the biggest problem with Wonshik’s idea.

“Won’t your mother hate it? You said she hates me and mom… Won’t she be angry if I were to meet your sister?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik outright laughed at that question.

“Technically, I’m not even allowed to meet you, _Hyung_. But who cares? As long as she doesn’t know, anything is okay,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon thought that Wonshik had a point. She already hated him to begin with, so adding more things that she hated wouldn’t be too significant.

“Anyway, can I use the bathroom? And while we’re at it, can you return at least my hoodie?” asked Wonshik.

“Yeah, go ahead. The bathroom is at the front, right beside the entrance. I’ll go grab your hoodie,” replied Taekwoon. Wonshik thanked him and went to the bathroom, while Taekwoon went to his room to take Wonshik’s hoodie from his wardrobe.

As Taekwoon took it out, he also saw several other clothes he borrowed from Wonshik but never returned. He thought that he’d return those as well, so he went back to the dining area to look for any decent shopping bag that he hadn’t thrown out yet.

“ _Hyung_ , do you have a plastic bag too?” asked Wonshik who had just emerged from the bathroom. Taekwoon was about to ask why he would need it when he turned towards the bathroom, but the sight made him drop the shopping bag he had in hand instead.

Wonshik was standing in front of the bathroom only in his expensive boxer brief, with wet hair and face, and clothes bundled up in his hands. It seemed that he borrowed Taekwoon’s bathroom to wash his hair and face, but since he didn’t borrow or bring any towel he simply let the water roll down on his skin.

“Yeah, um… Your hoodie and other clothes I borrowed are on the bed, in my room. Let me just get the bags,” replied Taekwoon as he pointed to his room and quickly took back the bag he dropped, then turned to get another one for Wonshik’s dirty clothes.

“Thanks a lot. Anyway, I hope you don’t mind that I use some of your shampoo and face wash,” said Wonshik.

“It’s okay,” replied Taekwoon quickly without even looking back at Wonshik.

As he listened to Wonshik’s footsteps, he tried to calm his racing heart. It was dangerous. He knew that Wonshik had a habit of only wearing underwear at home, and he had seen him like that numerous times as brothers. Still, it didn’t change the fact that Taekwoon had seen Wonshik’s naked body numerous times as his sex partner. Although Wonshik said that he wanted them to become brothers again, although Taekwoon had agreed to that, it also didn’t change the fact that Taekwoon still desired that body.

It was wrong and twisted, but a part of Taekwoon still hoped that one day Wonshik would agree to have sex with him again. It’s been too long since the last time they were intimate like that, and although he could just call someone else to sleep with him, the sensation would still be different from sleeping with Wonshik.

Taekwoon had promised to be just brothers with Wonshik, and yet Wonshik was testing his already thin patience.

With two bags in hand, Taekwoon stood and was about to step into his room to hand them to Wonshik, but Wonshik had emerged from the room with the clean clothes in his hand, wearing only the hoodie and underwear like he didn’t know just how cute yet sexy he looked in those.

“Here,” said Taekwoon as he handed the bags, trying so hard to calm down. Wonshik smiled widely at him as he took the bags.

“Thanks,” he said. He quickly shoved the clean clothes into one bag, then went to the couch to retrieve his dirty clothes and shoved it into the other bag. He then looked up to Taekwoon and said, “If you don’t mind, I want to sleep now, so I can go early tomorrow.”

“Don’t tell me that you’re planning to sleep on the couch like that,” said Taekwoon with a judging look.

“Well, where else should I sleep? You don’t have a spare room or bed after all,” replied Wonshik with a chuckle.

“My bed can fit 2 people, although it can be a bit tight,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik’s smile faded.

“I don’t know… I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said Wonshik softly.

“It’s okay. Remember that time when you let me sneak into your bed because I was too scared of the thunderstorm? Just consider this as a payback from that time,” said Taekwoon. He stood firm in front of Wonshik, wordlessly threatening him to get in bed with him or he’d annoy Wonshik all night long.

With a long sigh, Wonshik stood up from the couch. Taekwoon smiled smugly at that, and he led Wonshik into his bedroom as he turned off the lights.

Despite his earlier hesitation about sleeping on the same bed with Taekwoon, Wonshik managed to sleep just fine as soon as his head hit the pillow. Taekwoon felt that he was really cute like that. After turning off the room’s light, he slipped into the bed and cheekily scooted close to Wonshik.

* * *

It was a bit too warm for Wonshik when he opened his eyes that morning. He didn’t immediately remember that he stayed at Taekwoon’s place that night, so he just groggily tried to recognize where he was exactly. But as soon as he sat up and heard Taekwoon’s soft grunt, he remembered everything.

At times like that, he was thankful for his ability to sleep quickly just anywhere. If he were to stay awake in such close proximity with Taekwoon, no one knew what he would attempt to do.

With that in mind, he quietly slid off from the bed, planning to just drink some water, put on his trousers, then call a taxi to return to his own apartment. But all he managed was to take several steps away from the bed, before the bed rustled and Taekwoon sat up with a big yawn.

“Good—good morning,” greeted Taekwoon with another big yawn.

“Morning. I’m going to go back now,” said Wonshik, thinking that at least he should inform Taekwoon rather than just leaving if he’s awake like that.

“Have some breakfast first. I also want to go out so let’s go together,” said Taekwoon as he rolled away from the bed.

Gone had Wonshik’s plan to go quietly. He ended up helping Taekwoon to prepare some sandwiches and coffee for breakfast, and washing the dishes as Taekwoon took a shower. Taekwoon did offer him to borrow a towel and take a shower too, but Wonshik refused and said that he’d take a proper shower in his own apartment.

“I’ve just remembered that I have mouthwash. Even if you don’t want to shower, at the very least gargle and freshen your breath,” said Taekwoon as he stepped out from the bathroom. Wonshik took that offer, while Taekwoon hung his towel to dry and took his phone and wallet.

After checking again that they didn’t leave anything important behind, they got out together. They didn’t talk much; only Taekwoon asking how Wonshik planned to go to his apartment and Wonshik asking where Taekwoon was heading. Taekwoon said that he’s just going to restock his towel paper, so any convenience store would be fine with him. Wonshik also said that he’s just going to take a taxi so he’d just go to the main street.

In the end, Wonshik walked with Taekwoon until the convenience store near the main street, and then called a taxi.

“Hey… Tell your sister that I’m willing to meet her as long as she’s willing to meet me,” said Taekwoon before he got into the store. Wonshik smiled and nodded.

“Okay, I’ll tell her that. Thanks, _Hyung_ ,” said Wonshik. Taekwoon only nodded in return.

* * *

Taekwoon did say that he didn’t mind meeting with Jiwon if she’s willing to meet him, but he didn’t expect it to be so soon. He had just told Wonshik about it in the morning, and yet he was there with Wonshik in the afternoon, waiting for Jiwon in a fancy tea shop she picked for them to meet. She even went as far as reserving a private room for them to talk, and it’s making Taekwoon nervous.

“Don’t worry. Jiwon is a good kid; she won’t do anything mean to you,” reassured Wonshik.

“Still, I’m afraid that she’ll bully me for being close with you,” murmured Taekwoon. Wonshik smiled and squeezed Taekwoon’s hand gently.

“That’s why I’m here. I won’t let you be bullied, even by my own sister,” said Wonshik.

The touch, the smile, and the words made Taekwoon felt like burning inside. He knew that he shouldn’t feel that way, but Wonshik really made him want so many things. But his thoughts came to full stop as the room’s door slid open.

“Hello, thank you for coming. Sorry that I’m a bit late,” greeted Jiwon as she entered the room. She looked gorgeous and fashionable, and her droopy eyes were the same as Wonshik.

“It’s okay, we’ve just arrived too,” greeted Wonshik back with a warm smile. Jiwon smiled back at him, then glanced at Taekwoon. Suddenly, Taekwoon felt self-conscious.

“Hello, you must be Jung Taekwoon. I’m Kang Jiwon,” said Jiwon with a smile, as she held out her hand. Taekwoon shook her hand awkwardly as he tried to smile in return, but his lips felt far too stiff. She didn’t seem to mind, though, and simply took a seat across him and Wonshik.

“First thing first… Do you mind if I call you _oppa_ too? I mean, technically you’re also my stepbrother, but I won’t do it if you mind,” asked Jiwon. Taekwoon was seriously taken aback by how calm and matured she was at handling their situation. With how Wonshik’s mother behaved at their father’s funeral, he was expecting that she’d be more hostile.

“Y-yeah, go ahead,” replied Taekwoon. Jiwon chuckled at just how tense Taekwoon looked.

“You don’t have to be too stiff with me. I’m much younger than you after all. Also, I know that mom is hostile at you because she’s jealous and short-tempered. Fortunately, my personality is closer to dad than her,” said Jiwon with a gentle smile.

“I’ve told you, _Hyung_ , Jiwon is a good kid,” said Wonshik proudly. Taekwoon felt even more awkward at that.

“Still… I can’t help but think that you’ll be mad at me somehow, since Wonshik chose to stay with me and my mom after your father passed away,” said Taekwoon truthfully.

“ _Our_ father. Although it’s just for a short time, and although his blood doesn’t flow in your veins, you’re still one of his children too,” corrected Jiwon.

“And honestly, I was mad too at first. Maybe you don’t know, but even after our parents divorced and dad married your mother, Wonshik- _oppa_ stayed in touch with me. I knew well that my brother wouldn't abandon me. But at dad’s funeral, I witnessed myself how Wonshik- _oppa_ firmly refused to return with mom and me. Mom’s words at that time also affected my thoughts… _‘How could you betray your own flesh and blood?’_ she said that time, and I felt that too,” explained Jiwon.

“Thinking back, it’s probably just one of the childish moments I had. Wonshik- _oppa_ still stayed in touch even when I no longer replied to his messages due to my anger. Through his messages, I slowly began to understand his side of the story, not just mom’s. Eventually, I feel my own anger dissipated. Mom’s anger also sounded childish to me, although I can’t do anything to object to her,” said Jiwon.

“Well, I’ve talked too much… But the point is, I don’t hate you anymore. It’s still a long way until I can like you the way I like Wonshik- _oppa_ , but I can accept you as my brother,” said Jiwon with a smile, concluding everything she wanted to say.

“Th-thank you, I guess… for not hating me. And, I don’t think that you have to bring yourself to like me. This is good enough, I guess,” replied Taekwoon, still feeling somewhat awkward although in most parts he already felt relieved.

“That won’t do. Wonshik- _oppa_ likes you a lot, and I like Wonshik- _oppa_ , so I want to like you too. Although mom is probably against it, I want us to be family. I’m sure dad would want that too,” said Jiwon.

“Would you accept Jiwon as your sister too, _Hyung_?” asked Wonshik. Taekwoon looked at Wonshik, then to Jiwon who was smiling at him.

With a long sigh and a small smile, he said, “Please treat me well, Jiwon.”


	22. Chapter 22

Time passed and it’s suddenly time for Jiwon to return to France. She ended up not taking Wonshik’s offer to stay in his apartment, since their mother was too busy managing the hotel to actually meet her anyway. Wonshik still took her around too, sometimes with Taekwoon tagging along whenever both parties agreed, but sometimes she went on her own too. Surprisingly, Jiwon really got along well with Hyewon, and she was also present to send Jiwon off at the airport.

“Just to make it clear, I’m not interested in you. I’m here for Jiwon,” said Hyewon firmly after Jiwon went inside.

“Likewise, then,” replied Wonshik with a satisfied grin.

Wonshik ended up exchanging his number with Hyewon, since both felt that they could be friends after all. There’s one thing that had been bugging Wonshik’s mind, but he couldn’t find the right way to ask Hyewon about it since he was still not completely sure after all.

In the end, the way Jiwon smiled so brightly at Hyewon, and how Hyewon returned it with the same brightness, was enough confirmation for Wonshik.

* * *

Despite him saying that he’d watch all episodes of _LaLa Love_ , in the end Wonshik was too immersed in his work schedule to actually do it. Before he realized it, suddenly the drama would soon reach its last episode. He didn’t think much about it, thinking that it would just pass quietly like his other dramas, but apparently he was mistaken.

“There will be some sort of closing party for _LaLa Love_ , since its popularity is huge enough to make people demand for more content,” explained the producer.

Wonshik stared blankly at her, brain failing to process what was happening.

From people’s reaction during the presscon, he could roughly see just how high the interest level was. But he was expecting for it to decrease overtime and pretty much hit the bottom near the end. It had always been like that with the dramas he played. Apparently, _LaLa Love_ isn’t one of those.

They’re told that they’d be releasing the clips from behind the scenes, and all casts were asked to review which clips were okay to be used since it’d show their behaviour off-camera. The review was done immediately, and Wonshik pretty much okay-ed most of his clips.

“I’m _really_ hoping that we can use this clip, but we won’t if you don’t want to,” said one of the staff as he played the next clip. It was from the shoot when he fainted afterwards, shot from the staff’s point of view.

“It’s okay, but please cut it until I get off the set. I suppose you don’t have a clip of me fainting, right?” replied Wonshik.

“Actually… we have. But we’ll cut it off just like you asked,” said the staff.

After reviewing a few more clips, his part was done. He and Daetuk were then briefed about the closing party and stuff, relieved to see that his schedule was empty on the appointed day.

“As for the extra guests, to whom do you want to send your invitation, Ravi- _ssi_?” asked the staff.

“How many people can I invite?” asked Wonshik back.

“Hmm, it actually depends on how many others want to invite… but you can at least bring one. You can give me the name list, and I’ll see what we can do,” replied the staff. Wonshik pondered for a while, then he immediately decided on his guest list.

“First priority is Writer Jung Taekwoon from _Gesture_ magazine. Then, if you have 2 more slots, Photographer Lee Hongbin and Makeup Artist N from _Saboten_ studio—it’s important to invite them as a set, so if you can only free 1 more spot, no need to invite either of them. That’s all for me,” said Wonshik.

The staff blinked slowly at Wonshik’s words. It seemed that he’s expecting Wonshik to bring his fellow labelmates, like Ken or Mina, but he’s actually not close to them so he felt it would be awkward to just invite them like that. Besides, at such a party, it would probably feel more like an insult for them to be invited.

“Ah… Okay, so… Writer Jung Taekwoon from _Gesture_ , then Photographer Lee Hongbin and Makeup Artist N from _Saboten_ , is that correct? Anyone else?” asked the staff after typing it down quickly on the phone.

“No, that will be all,” replied Wonshik with a smile.

“Then, after we finalize the guest list, we’ll contact you,” said the staff.

After a bit more briefing here and there, they were dismissed. Wonshik planned to go straight home to rest since he still had a schedule for the next day, but Sanghyuk quickly called him before he exited the meeting place.

“ _Hyung_ , I heard you’re trying to invite Hongbin- _ssi_ and N- _ssi_ too? What a coincidence! I’m trying to invite them too,” said Sanghyuk cheerfully.

“Oh, you’ve finally acquainted with them?” asked Wonshik.

“Yeah! They’re an odd couple and N- _ssi_ is excessively touchy, but they’re cool. Thanks for recommending them to me the other day,” replied Sanghyuk.

“You’re welcome. I hope they’re not doing anything weird to you, though…” said Wonshik.

“Well, I don’t know how weird is weird, but I know for sure that they’re nice,” said Sanghyuk. Wonshik could only smile solemnly at that. He mentally told himself to have a word with Hakyeon, telling him not to touch the poor guy.

“Anyway, I should go home now. Morning schedule tomorrow. Let’s meet again at the party,” said Wonshik. Sanghyuk bid him a goodbye, then Wonshik quickly went away with his manager.

* * *

In the midst of the boring job of writing trashy articles about random stuff, a message arrived that made Taekwoon brighten up instantly. His mother was around again, and she invited Taekwoon for dinner. Without thinking too much, Taekwoon quickly agreed.

But then, he remembered about the awkward meeting between her and Wonshik before, and how she seemed to tell Taekwoon to avoid Wonshik. After some more thoughts, Taekwoon planned to make them meet, so he asked her whether he could bring a friend along or not. From the way she agreed, it sounded like she had no suspicions whatsoever, and Taekwoon felt relieved.

After he confirmed the time and place, Taekwoon quickly called Wonshik. He chewed his lower lip as he prayed that Wonshik was free enough to both pick up his call and have dinner with him and his mother.

“What happens?” asked Wonshik in place of greeting.

“Hey, um, I just want to ask… Are you free tonight? I’m going out to try a restaurant for my article and I wonder if you can come along…” asked Taekwoon.

“Tonight? Okay. Just send me the address. I can come with casual clothes, right?” replied Wonshik quickly.

“Yeah, casual is fine. I’ll send you the address, just come around 7,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik also didn’t sound suspicious, and Taekwoon could only hope that Wonshik would come a bit late.

Taekwoon could faintly hear Wonshik’s manager in the background, calling for Wonshik to quickly return to the photoshoot, and Wonshik told him that he had to go. With a short goodbye, they cut the call.

Sighing, Taekwoon hoped that everything would go well that night.

* * *

Wonshik somehow managed to arrive earlier than Taekwoon asked him to, and he wondered whether Taekwoon had made a reservation beforehand or not. Yet, rather than asking Taekwoon about that, he asked the frontdesk instead.

“Any reservation under ‘Jung Taekwoon’?” asked Wonshik. The staff checked something on his desk, then called another staff member to escort Wonshik to the reserved table.

“Would you like to order now?” asked the staff after handing the menu book.

“Later. I’m still waiting for my friend,” replied Wonshik. The staff then went away after telling him to just use the call button if he’s ready to order.

With the menu book open on table and his smartphone in hand, Wonshik started to browse about people’s recommended items from the menu. He was thinking about making orders first so Taekwoon could immediately eat when he arrived, but then someone called out his name.

“Kim Wonshik?” called a familiar voice. Wonshik turned towards that voice, and he froze at what he saw.

“Jung Taemi- _ssi_?” called Wonshik back slowly. She seemed to be equally surprised, but both quickly realized that Taekwoon must’ve invited them both without telling them that the other was invited.

“That child… I guess I’ll tolerate it this time,” said Taemi begrudgingly as she took a seat. “Do you still meet him until now? Even when your mother and I have worked so hard to separate you two?”

“I’ve kept my promise for 6 years, and I didn’t even plan for us to meet again. Don’t blame it all on me,” said Wonshik.

“And I thought I’ve specifically asked you to never meet my son ever again. Not just for 6 years, not just for 60 years, but forever. And so what if you met him by chance? You can always stop seeing him afterwards. Don’t play tricks on me, young man,” replied Taemi angrily.

“If you don’t want us to meet ever again, tell that to Taekwoon- _hyung_ too. Tell him about how disgusted you are at us, just like how you told me that day,” said Wonshik coldly. Taemi looked obviously offended, and it’s clear for Wonshik that she didn’t want to upset her only son. She just wanted Taekwoon to return to be her ‘pure’ son. That made Wonshik scoffed.

“Even if I stay away, do you really think that Taekwoon- _hyung_ will stop seeing me? Or if he can’t meet me, he won’t meet other guys? Do you really know your own son?” asked Wonshik jeeringly. Taemi opened and closed her mouth in rage, wanted to retort but couldn’t find a word to say.

“It’s okay if you want to continue blaming me for tainting your son… But there are things I want to set straight. I didn’t start this. It was Taekwoon- _hyung_ who kissed me first, on the night we stored father’s ashes in the columbarium. And it was also Taekwoon- _hyung_ who brought me to the motel and did his ways with me,” said Wonshik.

The look of horror in Taemi’s eyes was expected, but Wonshik didn’t expect the hard slap that came with it.

“How dare you—”

“Mom, what are you doing?!” shouted Taekwoon. Both Taemi and Wonshik turned towards him, and Taekwoon looked really shocked and confused about what had just happened.

“Taekwoon, this is not like what it seems…” said Taemi nervously, but Taekwoon shot her a disbelieved look.

“I’m leaving,” said Wonshik coldly as he stood up. Taekwoon quickly grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving.

“Why, why are you leaving? What is happening?” asked Taekwoon. Wonshik gave out a tired sigh and he glanced at Taemi before returning his focus to Taekwoon.

“She knows,” whispered Wonshik. Taekwoon flinched, staring at Taemi with wide eyes. “I guess this is a goodbye for us.”

“What?” asked Taekwoon as he turned towards Wonshik. “G-goodbye? What are you talking about?”

“You’re not going to choose me over your own mother, aren’t you?” replied Wonshik with a bitter smile.

Taekwoon hated to admit it, but Wonshik was right. Even Wonshik who was on bad terms with his own mother couldn’t really cut his ties with her. It would be difficult to ask Taekwoon to choose Wonshik over his own mother.

Still, it didn’t mean that he wanted it to end between him and Wonshik, whatever it was they had.

“ _Hyung_ … The promise I made years ago, about returning to you, I’ve fulfilled it. Now it’s time for us to part ways again, but this time I can’t make any promises,” said Wonshik. His voice was oddly calm, like he was reading a bedtime story for a child. Yet it sounded cold, freezing cold in Taekwoon’s ears.

Wonsik peeled Taekwoon’s hand from his arm and gave it one last squeeze, “Take care.”

Taekwoon was ready to chase Wonshik, but Taemi held him back.

“If he wants to leave, let him leave. Don’t go after him,” said Taemi firmly.

“Mom… Since when did you know?” asked Taekwoon slowly, voice shaking. He didn’t know which feeling was stronger in his heart: the fear of his mother’s rejection, or the fear of losing Wonshik again.

“Just sit down. I’ll tell you everything, but please don’t go after him,” said Taemi.

Then, it just clicked in Taekwoon’s mind. The way she looked stiff the last time she and Wonshik met, the way she always told Taekwoon that she didn’t know Wonshik’s new contacts, and how she could easily let Wonshik returned to his birth mother’s family despite all her persistence to keep Wonshik with them after their father’s death… If she knew about what happened between Wonshik and Taekwoon since that long, everything would make perfect sense.

“The reason why Wonshik left us after his SAT exam… It’s because you already knew, right?” asked Taekwoon softly, his voice trembling.

“As your mother, I only want the best for you, Taekwoon…” said Taemi.

Taekwoon let out a long exhale.

“Tell me everything, then. But not here,” said Taekwoon. He called the server to order some food for takeout, then waited in silence as they waited for it to be prepared. Once it arrived, he paid for the food and the tea they had while waiting, then he called a taxi to take them to his apartment.

Taekwoon let Taemi sit at the dining area as he took out the food to be served, as well as preparing some water for them. After Taekwoon joined her at the dining table, she began to spill everything she knew from her point of view.

* * *

Wonshik was the last person Hakyeon expected when he heard the bell of his apartment unit being rang at that hour without any prior notice. But from the way Wonshik’s face scrunched, how red his eyes were, and how damp his cheeks were, Hakyeon knew that Wonshik wasn’t there for the thing others usually wanted from him and Hongbin.

“Hongbin, can you help me brew some tea? Chamomile will be good, with some honey too,” asked Hakyeon as he ushered Wonshik in.

“Chamomile tea? Who is it?” asked Hongbin, questioning just who their uninvited guest was since it’s unusual for Hakyeon to ask for a calming tea to serve at that hour. But once he saw Wonshik and the state he was in, he simply nodded and headed to the kitchen.

“Sorry for disturbing you at this hour, I just… I don’t know where else to go,” whispered Wonshik. He sounded really broken, and Hakyeon felt really pitiful towards him.

“It’s okay. We’re used to having late night guests,” said Hakyeon reassuringly as he brought Wonshik to sit at the couch. Wonshik sighed out a thanks, all while looking like he’s holding back a lot.

“You can talk if you want to, or not talk if you don’t want to,” said Hakyeon as he took Wonshik’s hand and patted him softly. To his surprise, Wonshik who usually rejected his touch gently squeezed his hand instead.

“ _Hyung_ , I… I don’t want to be alone tonight. Would you let me stay?” asked Wonshik softly.

Hakyeon smiled fondly at him, and gently led Wonshik to lean his head to his shoulder. Wonshik didn’t resist, and simply leaned closer to Hakyeon for comfort.

“We’ll let you stay as long as you want. Just take your time,” said Hakyeon.

Wonshik could only sniffle in reply.


	23. Chapter 23

It was a lot to take.

Taemi had finally spilled everything, and _finally_ Taekwoon understood the reason why Wonshik was taken away from him and why Wonshik’s mother seemed hostile towards him. Taemi saw them on one of the exam nights, when Taekwoon asked for Wonshik’s company since he was too stressed to study alone. She saw how Taekwoon made Wonshik sit on his desk, kissing him and going down on him, and she got utterly shocked.

Still, at that time she tried to pretend that it’s all just a bad dream. She was in denial, trying to save whatever was left of her little family. Wonshik and Taekwoon didn’t seem to change too, still constantly bickered over missing snacks or misplaced shirts, and what happened that night felt more and more like a mere hallucination in Taemi’s mind.

The huge slap of reality came a little later on, after Taekwoon received his report card for that semester. Taemi remembered celebrating Taekwoon’s good grades together at home in the afternoon, and how Taekwoon asked her to celebrate it outside too but she declined. In the end, Taekwoon only took Wonshik with him, and both promised to return before midnight. She wasn’t suspecting anything, not even when Wonshik came home carrying Taekwoon on his back. They said that Taekwoon slipped and fell on their way back, and Taemi easily believed in them.

Out of good intention, Taemi took initiative to tidy up Taekwoon’s dirty clothes as he took an early rest. When she searched through his jacket’s pockets to make sure that it’s all empty before throwing them into the washing machine, he found some stuff she didn’t expect to find—a receipt from a love motel, and an opened box of condoms.

Her mind was running wild with all sorts of possibilities, but it was cut off abruptly when Wonshik entered the laundry room to drop off his dirty clothes. Both of them were startled because they didn’t expect the other to be there, but before Wonshik could laugh off his surprise, his eyes caught the stuff in Taemi’s hands and he turned pale instantly.

It was the only confirmation she needed to understand the whole situation. What she saw that night wasn’t just a bad dream, and Taekwoon probably didn’t fall on their way back. She was enraged, but she was calm enough to shove those items to Wonshik’s hand. She glared at him and slowly said, “I will pretend that I didn’t see this. Now, get rid of it, and don’t tell Taekwoon that I know.”

Wonshik was too scared to do anything, so he simply nodded. He shakily dropped his clothes at the laundry basket and returned to his room, while Taemi thought about what she should do next.

The worst thing that could happen had happened. But instead of thinking that it’s a mutual feeling between Taekwoon and Wonshik, Taemi believed that Wonshik was the one who turned Taekwoon that way. Knowing about what’s happening between his son and stepson, she could no longer stand living under the same roof with Wonshik. She then made a bold move, calling Wonshik’s birth mother to take him back, and she even went as far as telling her about what Wonshik and Taekwoon did.

She admitted that she didn’t know what happened after Wonshik’s mother brought him back, but Taekwoon knew since Wonshik had told him. He simply couldn’t guess that it’s because Wonshik’s mother knew what happened, not just because she hated the Jung family for taking half of her family away.

“I know you must be angry for what happened, but please know that I did it for your sake. What you and Wonshik had… it’s not normal,” said Taemi. Taekwoon could hear the desperation in her voice, but he honestly couldn’t feel sympathetic towards her. He felt a bit guilty, but even that got washed away quickly.

“I’m really sorry to disappoint you, Mom, but… Just like you couldn’t help it when you fell for someone else’s husband, I can’t help it too when I have these feelings towards my own stepbrother. I know it’s not normal, but you can’t blame it on him. I started it. I kissed him first, unlike how a normal brother would,” said Taekwoon.

“Still, even before that, it’s not normal… How can you… you… How can you have such feelings towards a man?” asked Taemi. Taekwoon laughed dryly as he swiped his bangs back.

“I don’t know, Mom. How can _you_ have such feelings towards a man?” asked Taekwoon back. Taemi was taken aback by Taekwoon’s reply, and she didn’t say anything although she clearly still disagreed with Taekwoon’s view.

“I’m sorry, Mom, but I must ask you to leave. I know I should’ve felt guilty towards you for being like this, but… honestly I’m also disappointed in you, for hiding all this from me,” said Taekwoon as he stood up from his seat. She followed him wordlessly to the door, letting herself to be shooed out from her son’s home.

“My opinion that you should stay away from him is still the same. And although this sounds insincere, I really just want the best for you, Taekwoon,” said Taemi before she left. Taekwoon didn’t say anything to her, and simply closed the door.

Taekwoon slid down to the floor after he heard his mother’s footsteps fading away to the distance. After hearing all that information, he just wanted to run to Wonshik and hold him tight, apologizing for all the troubles he had caused. But Wonshik’s message at the restaurant was pretty clear; as long as Taemi didn’t accept them, Taekwoon would have to choose to side with either his own mother or Wonshik. But then again, he didn’t even know whether Wonshik would be able to cut off his relationship with his own mother or not.

Some people might be able to simply sever even the blood ties, but it’s not always that easy for everyone. It’s even worse in Wonshik’s case, since he’s a celebrity. Things like having a secret relationship with his stepbrother would definitely ruin his whole career.

“Should this really end in such a premature goodbye like this?” murmured Taekwoon.

* * *

Either it’s his professionalism kicking or simply because he thought of work as a form of escape, Wonshik managed to go through his schedules smoothly even after the breakdown. Hakyeon and Hongbin really didn’t ask anything from him that night or in the morning after. They simply let him cry, drink some tea, and sleep between the two of them without anything funny happening. They even offered him some breakfast, which he refused in favor of returning quickly to his apartment so that his manager wouldn’t sense anything wrong when he picked Wonshik up for his schedule in the late morning.

And somehow Wonshik managed to survive, autopiloting with his ‘Ravi’ persona and took down one commercial shoot after another. To others, he looked fine, and Wonshik vaguely wondered if he could really just continue living like that.

But reality came crashing in the form of an invitation reminder. Wonshik was texted about how his invitation for Taekwoon to attend _LaLa Love_ ending party was accepted. His thumb was already on the keyboard, ready to reply that he wanted to cancel that invitation, but he hesitated.

Even if they sent the invitation, there’s a chance for Taekwoon to turn it down. In the end, Wonshik only texted back to thank the staff, and let them send the invitation to Taekwoon’s address.

For the time being, he was betting on the probability of Taekwoon not taking that invitation. But if his prediction was wrong and Taekwoon ended up accepting it… He thought that he’d just face it later on.

* * *

The dreaded party night finally came. Wonshik tried not to think too much about it and hoped for the best. Besides, if Taekwoon really came, most likely Wonshik would be too preoccupied with other matters to actually focus on him.

The party itself consisted of some opening words from the producer, a little behind the scene screening, and mostly mingling while having dinner. The crews had invited several journalists to cover their event too, so Wonshik thought that he’d probably just entertain those journalists and enjoy the food.

When the event was officially opened by the MC, Wonshik took a quick scan of the room. He didn’t see Taekwoon, so he guessed that he wouldn’t be coming after all. Earlier, Sanghyuk also told him dejectedly that both Hongbin and Hakyeon had turned down his invitation since they’re having another business to do. Judging from how Ken happily announced his empty schedule for the next day when Wonshik bumped into him at the company, he guessed that ‘the business’ they meant was Ken.

After a short greeting from the producer, the screening began. They carefully picked the best ones for that day, and all of it looked nice. The moment when Wonshik had to improvise his scene was selected too, and he could faintly hear people’s comment about how serious and hardworking he was. A commentary from Sunye was also added, and she noted about how real that scene felt.

And that’s what people asked him once the screening was done; whether the raw feelings he displayed at that time were real or not.

It was once again an internal battle for him, whether to tell them the truth or simply avoid it with a diplomatic answer. He was about to take the safest bet when his eyes fell on a person he prayed so hard not to come. And before he could stop himself, he had let his heart do the speaking.

“It’s real,” said Wonshik slowly. Whether it’s his unexpected answer or his gentle yet broken expression, the people who waited for his answer fell in silence.

Wonshik then realized what he had said, and quickly pulled up his business smile again, “Well, I’m almost 28 after all. Although currently I’m not dating, that doesn’t mean that I don’t know what heartbreak is.”

“So you’ve dated before?” asked one of the curious journalists. Before he could hold it back, Wonshik chuckled.

“Ah… I don’t know how much I can say, but… Before I became ‘Ravi’, of course I’ve dated,” said Wonshik. The journalists seemed about to ask him further into that, but Wonshik quickly excused himself and headed towards the toilet.

But before he reached his destination, someone stepped into his way, and Wonshik felt his heart throbbed painfully as he looked into the other’s eye.

“I thought I'd said goodbye the last time we met,” said Wonshik.

“If you really feel like that, then you shouldn’t have sent me the invitation,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled dryly.

“I was hoping that you’d turn down that invitation, or give it to another journalist in your magazine,” said Wonshik truthfully.

“Then you don’t know me well enough,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik smiled a little. He vaguely thought that maybe, maybe a small part of him really wanted for Taekwoon to come, so he didn’t cancel that invitation. But of course, he wasn’t going to admit it out loud.

“Mom has told me everything. I’ve tried to clear her misunderstanding too, but it seems ineffective,” said Taekwoon. “Your mother knows too, right?”

“To a certain extent, yeah…” said Wonshik.

They fell in silence for a short while, until Taekwoon asked again, “Is it really a goodbye? Can’t we just… ignore things and just do whatever we want to?”

Wonshik chuckled and shook his head. “You know that life is not that simple… But I guess we still can talk a bit more. If you’re not too tired, I’ll come to your place after this party,” said Wonshik.

“Okay. Just tell me when you want to go back; we can go together,” said Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled and shook his head.

“No, we should go separately. Too many eyes, too many ears, too many hands ready to spill,” said Wonshik. A cursory glance was enough for Taekwoon to see how even when they’re talking quietly and as nondescript as possible, there were still people trying to eavesdrop what they’re talking about.

“Anyway, congratulations for the drama. I hope that our magazine can interview you deeper about your methodical acting for this role,” said Taekwoon a bit louder, as he extended his hand towards Wonshik with a well-trained business smile.

“Thank you. My manager will be in contact for further details,” said Wonshik as he shook Taekwoon’s hand, knowing that it’s the only way to make them look less suspicious.

They separated ways and Wonshik continued to humor other guests and journalists. After half an hour or so, Wonshik felt his phone vibrating, and he took a quick peek to see.

> **_Hamzzi_ **
> 
> _See you in an hour or two_

Wonshik smiled and swiped the notification away. That’s his cue to leave.


	24. Chapter 24

Taekwoon looked like he had waited for another 6 years when he opened the door for Wonshik, despite Wonshik only taking a little over an hour to meet him again. After Taekwoon messaged him, Wonshik also returned with his manager, going back to his own apartment for a quick shower and change of clothes before he went out again and called a taxi to go to Taekwoon’s place. From the look of it, Taekwoon seemed to have taken a shower too, and he even went as far as preparing some warm tea for them.

“So the actual reason why you disappeared without a trace after you moved in with your mother is because my mom found us out?” asked Taekwoon immediately after they had settled on the couch.

“Yeah. She caught us at home once, and then she found out about us going to a motel. She called my mom, spilled everything to her from her point of view, and my mom tried to take me immediately. But I bargained to stay until after CSAT, and they agreed on 2 conditions: that I would have to move out regardless of the exam’s result, and that I should never tell you anything,” explained Wonshik. Taekwoon gave out a long exhale.

“And you really didn’t tell me anything, _anything_ at all, even after I blamed you again and again for causing me a lot of pain,” said Taekwoon, his voice starting to waver. Wonshik scoffed and looked away.

“I did tell you recently, and look what happened now? Are you happier than when you don’t know? If not, you can blame me again—”

“How can I blame you now after I know what actually happened?!” yelled Taekwoon. Wonshik turned to him, and his expression looked very painful.

“It’ll be easier if you just hate me, _Hyung_ … I mean it when I said that it’s a goodbye for us. Even if I want to stay by your side, even if I want us to be brothers again, it’s impossible,” said Wonshik.

“We haven’t even tried it; how can you say that it’s impossible?” protested Taekwoon. Wonshik chuckled and gave out a long sigh.

“I just… can’t,” said Wonshik quietly. Taekwoon was about to protest again, but then Wonshik added, “No, that’s not it. I don’t want to. I want us to end here, just like this.”

For years, Taekwoon had wanted them to have some sort of closure, some sort of certainty about what their relationship really was. But when Wonshik said those words, it hurt. Even when he told himself that he should be ready for them to meet an end suddenly like that, it still hurt.

“Then…” Taekwoon spoke softly and slowly, “Then, if this is really the last time we’ll meet like this, I want you to hold me.”

Taekwoon looked straight to Wonshik’s eyes. Their longing, glistening eyes were like mirrors to each other. No matter how many layers of masks they wore before, all had become see-through, letting their emotion to be displayed clearly.

“Please hold me, the way you want it, for one last time,” whispered Taekwoon.

Wonshik knew that if he did that, if he let himself fall into Taekwoon’s warm embrace, he wouldn’t be able to leave. But in the end, Wonshik was just a man. He’s just Wonshik, Jung Taekwoon’s Kim Wonshik, so he let his heart take the lead again.

Their body heat and the room’s heater should be warm enough for them, but they ended up shivering anyway from the coldness they felt in their chests. No matter how close Wonshik pressed their bodies together, it still felt cold. He could feel his own tears streaming down his face, and he knew that Taekwoon was probably crying too.

With his heart pumping out shreds of ice to his veins in every beat, Wonshik sought for some warmth that could ease the pain. It didn’t matter if it’s only temporarily; he just didn’t want to feel cold that night. Taekwoon also seemed to feel the same, staring back at Wonshik with an unspoken request.

It felt really easy and natural to fall into the temporary comfort they were always craving for. But the touch that used to spark fire against their skin had mellowed down into a burning ember. They didn’t rush it; letting each other to remember the feeling and sensation, carving it so deep in their soul they wouldn’t be able to forget it even if they wanted to. Although it would result in more pain, they really couldn’t care less at that time.

But as the night turned into dawn and Taekwoon was blissfully asleep, Wonshik put his clothes back on quietly. As he took one last look to Taekwoon’s sleeping figure, he opened his mouth to say something, but in the end he stopped himself and turned away.

Even at the last moment, he was still too cowardly to speak up what he really felt.

* * *

Entertainment news outlet was going wild for a while after Wonshik’s statement about how he used to date before he became a professional model. That, plus his statement about how he acted out ‘Bom Haneul’ from his personal experience, made things go even wilder. There were speculations about what Wonshik really meant when he said it, including the probability of him secretly dating someone at the moment, and it drew a lot of debate within his fanbase.

“Take some rest until the rumors die. I’ve told you; don’t talk about dating anymore to those hyenas! First, the rumor that you slept with Chanmi. Second, the rumor that you’re openly bisexual. Now, a rumor that you’re secretly dating someone? With pictures of you dining with at least 10 different women?” nagged Kang- _nim_.

“I’ve told you that those ladies are the ones my mom picked for me. She’s at the age when she wants to hold a grandchild already. Talk to her if you want all those dinner dates to be over,” said Wonshik nonchalantly. Kang- _nim_ slammed the table angrily.

“Don’t be cheeky just because your mother and I have the same surname. We’re not family so I won’t treat you as such,” warned Kang- _nim_.

“If I quit, will it be enough to quell your anger?” asked Wonshik. The CEO’s face quickly changed from anger to pure shock. Daetuk, too, looked at Wonshik as if he had just grown a head.

“What nonsense are you talking about?! I’ve told you to take some rest until the rumors stop!” yelled Kang- _nim_.

“I want to just quit. I’m fed up with all these. I want to live my life,” said Wonshik flatly.

“ _This_ is your life!” yelled Kang- _nim_ again as he slammed the desk hard.

“S-sir, please calm down. Ravi- _ssi_ doesn’t really mean it,” said Daetuk hurriedly. He then turned to Wonshik and mouthed, _‘go apologize now’_.

“I really mean it, _Hyung_. I want to quit,” said Wonshik persistently.

“You must be really tired. Kang- _nim_ , let me just drive this guy home. Please pardon us,” said Daetuk quickly as he bowed at the CEO, then dragged Wonshik out from the room before Wonshik could say one more word that can offend Kang- _nim_.

“What the hell is wrong with you? Did you get into a fight with your mother again, so you’re acting up like this?” scolded Daetuk as soon as they got into the empty elevator.

“No, I haven’t met her again since last month. I’m serious about quitting too. I can pay the contract termination fee; I have enough money for that,” said Wonshik. Daetuk gave out a long exhale.

“Then? Even if you move into other agencies, nothing much will change. Everyone’s kitchen is dirty; the only difference is whether you’ve been used to it or not. Just take Kang- _nim_ ’s advice and lay low for a month or two, then we can get back to work as usual again. Go visit your sister in France while you have the time or something,” said Daetuk.

“I’ve said that I want to quit, haven’t I? I don’t mean to just quit from this agency. What I mean is, I want to really quit being a model and actor. I want to quit from this career path,” said Wonshik. Daetuk went silent, finally realizing that Wonshik wasn’t just throwing tantrums when he said he wanted to quit.

“My mom has a hotel business, but it’s impossible for my sister to take over it since she’s studying Pharmacy. I think my mom will ask me to take over the business when it’s time for her to retire,” said Wonshik again. He paused for a moment, before he added, “No. I’m taking over that business. That is for sure.”

“Ravi- _ssi_ … What are you planning?” asked Daetuk. Wonshik smiled a little, although he looked sad in Daetuk’s eyes.

“A fitting ending for ‘Ravi’,” said Wonshik.

* * *

After finishing his last photoshoot schedule on Wednesday, Wonshik really was given a full month off from the company. He was pondering about actually going to France as suggested, but in the end he decided not to.

Instead, he made an appointment to meet with Hyewon. Wonshik made sure that he ordered a private room and told Hyewon that he just wanted to talk about Jiwon. Hyewon was suspicious, but she agreed to meet with Wonshik anyway.

When they met that night, Wonshik set up a video call with Jiwon since he wanted to have the conversation with both her and Hyewon. He still didn’t know whether his guess was correct or not, but he was quietly praying that he was.

“Hey, _Oppa_! Oh, Hyewon, you’re here too!” greeted Jiwon cheerfully once they’re connected.

“Hi, Jiwon,” greeted Hyewon with a full smile, a big contrast with her sour face when she had just arrived.

“Hey, Jiwon. I’ll get straight to the point; I need to confirm something with you both, so I expect you and Hyewon will answer me truthfully,” said Wonshik. Jiwon and Hyewon quickly looked nervous over Wonshik’s words, and he felt even more sure about his guess.

“Jiwon, Hyewon, do you like each other?” asked Wonshik.

There was silence, before Hyewon started to chuckle nervously and said, “W-what’s that? Of course we like each other. I mean, we’re good friends, right Jiwon?”

“Y-yeah! Totally! Hyewon and I are best friends!” said Jiwon, with a voice just as nervous as Hyewon.

“You both know that it’s not what I’m asking. I’m asking; do you _like_ each other?” asked Wonshik again, firmer this time. There was fear in their eyes, and Jiwon wasn’t even looking at her phone’s camera anymore.

Wonshik sighed and leaned back to his chair. He pondered about what he should say to earn their trust, but then he realized that the only way was to tell them his own secret.

“Jiwon… You still remember Taekwoon- _hyung_ , right?” asked Wonshik. Jiwon seemed confused. She didn’t understand why Wonshik suddenly brought out Taekwoon like that.

“Yes… Why?” replied Jiwon. Wonshik then turned to Hyewon, knowing that he should explain about Taekwoon a little bit to her.

“Hyewon, Taekwoon- _hyung_ is my stepbrother. Back when I was in high school, our parents divorced. Our dad then remarried a widow who has a son, and that son is Taekwoon- _hyung_. But around two years later, our father died. I still lived with my stepmother and stepbrother for almost a year, but then I moved back to our mother’s family after completing my high school year,” explained Wonshik briefly.

“Jiwon, did mom ever tell you why I returned to her and you?” asked Wonshik. Jiwon looked even more confused.

“No… She only said that you changed your mind. But thinking about it again now, it’s weird. You and him seem to be on good terms with each other,” replied Jiwon.

Hearing that, something seemed to click in Hyewon’s mind, and she asked, “Wait, could it be that you—”

“I was caught having sex with Taekwoon- _hyung_ ,” said Wonshik, clear and firm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay safe, everyone. There are several confirmed cases around my area so I haven't really gone out from home... Hopefully this all will pass soon.


	25. Chapter 25

“I was caught having sex with Taekwoon- _hyung_. That’s why his mother returned me to our mother, and that’s the real reason why mom insisted so hard for me to quickly get married,” said Wonshik. He had just revealed his biggest secret to his sister and a person who was practically a stranger to him, but he looked oddly calm.

“Wait, hold on… So the rumors about you being bisexual is true?” asked Jiwon quickly.

“False. I’m not interested in women. Although I’m not sure if I have any interest towards men other than Taekwoon- _hyung_ ,” replied Wonshik truthfully.

“Why are you telling this to us?” asked Hyewon. Wonshik looked at her and smiled a little.

“As a person who knows how it feels to fall in love and secretly keep a relationship, I have a hunch about what happens between you and my sister. And I know the two of you probably thought that I’m going to lecture you or something if you told me the truth, so I opened my cards first. I trust you two with this, so I hope you can trust me too,” explained Wonshik.

There was a long silence, until Hyewon spoke up first, “I don’t know about how Jiwon actually feels about me, but I do like her. No, I love her. That’s for sure.”

Hyewon’s eyes were burning in determination, and Wonshik started to reassess the condition again. From the way Hyewon said it, rather than them having a relationship and mutual understanding, it’s more like they simply pined for each other. Wonshik let out a long sigh, realizing his own error and how he probably had screwed up the whole thing for them.

“Hyewon… What you said, is that true?” asked Jiwon slowly. Hyewon smiled bitterly and nodded.

“I’d prefer to say it directly to you, but… This is fine too, I guess…” said Hyewon.

“No, this is not fine,” said Jiwon. Hyewon’s expression turned grim, and Wonshik really wanted to apologize to all of them, but then Jiwon continued, “I’ll fly back there as soon as I can, and you can tell that to me directly, because I want us to kiss afterwards.”

Hyewon was completely speechless, staring at the phone screen with wide teary eyes.

“Why, do you not want us to kiss?” asked Jiwon. Hyewon chuckled and shook her head in disbelief.

“No need to return here. I’ll go there; that’s only fair, since I’m the one who’s going to ask you out,” said Hyewon. Jiwon smiled brightly at that, and Wonshik swore he had never seen her smile like that for a very long time.

“Now… Wonshik- _oppa_ … Normally I would headlock you for being senseless like this, so be thankful that I’m a whole continent away! And apologize to Hyewon for scaring her!” scolded Jiwon.

“Sorry…” mumbled Wonshik to Jiwon. He then turned to Hyewon and bowed as deep as his position allowed, “I’m very sorry, Hyewon. I really thought that the two of you have been dating.”

“Since this resulted in us actually getting together, I forgive you this time,” said Hyewon, still with a small smile on her lips.

“Now… I want to discuss something with you two, and you may disagree with what I’m about to do. At the very least, I want you to listen to me first,” said Wonshik. Both Hyewon and Jiwon were looking at him suspiciously, but since they’re pretty much still in a good mood, they didn’t make a comment yet.

“Okay, go on,” said Hyewon.

Wonshik took a deep breath to steady his heartbeat. He still didn’t know what kind of reaction Hyewon and Jiwon would give, but he hoped that it wouldn’t be too bad. After repeating the words a few times in his head, he finally spoke it out loud.

“Choi Hyewon… Will you marry me?”

* * *

Spending days not seeing Wonshik while knowing that it really was the end for them felt a league different from spending days not seeing him while knowing that they would meet again in a few more days. True to what Wonshik told him, he really didn’t show up in front of him anymore. Taekwoon had tried to call and messaged him several times, but it seemed that his number had been blocked.

There’s a part of him that wanted to simply go to Wonshik’s apartment and become a creepy stalker, but he didn’t want to risk being jailed because of that. A few times being threatened by his neighbour in the past was enough for him.

Feeling frustrated, Taekwoon decided to just visit the cafe near his office. There’s no guarantee that he would be able to bump into Wonshik there, but it’s better than being suffocated by his own thoughts.

* * *

As expected, Taekwoon didn’t meet Wonshik there. He was a bit disappointed, but at the very least he got his favorite coffee so he could work more effectively. He let himself get immersed with his work, not caring about the people around him, until he heard some knocks on his table. He looked up, expecting that it’s the cafe staff wanting to ask him to fill a questionnaire or something, but apparently he was wrong.

“What a coincidence,” greeted Hongbin as he took the empty seat across Taekwoon.

“Got a job around here?” asked Taekwoon, since he knew that Hongbin’s studio and apartment weren’t that close from that cafe.

“Sort of. Hakyeon sent me to get some makeup from a specific store around here, and I’ve got it but I don’t feel like coming home just yet. Hakyeon is still at work after all,” said Hongbin.

Taekwoon hummed and nodded at Hongbin’s answer. Suddenly, he was reminded that Hongbin’s exhibition was within the next month, and that Park- _nim_ had agreed to publish Taekwoon’s writing about Hongbin and Hakyeon. But knowing that it’s at least several months old already, Taekwoon thought that he should probably renew the article.

“This is probably too sudden, but if you currently have time, are you okay with me interviewing you right now? The previous article I wrote about you and Hakyeon didn’t get published the last time, but my Chief Editor has agreed to publish it for the next issue. Still, I think the article is outdated already, so I’m wondering if it’s okay with you if I renew it with some recent interviews,” asked Taekwoon.

Hongbin seemed to be taken aback by the sudden request, but he quickly smiled and nodded.

“Sure, why not? I’d prefer if I can talk a bit about my exhibition after all, and use some newer work for it,” said Hongbin. Taekwoon nodded, and quickly saved his current work so he could open the article on Hongbin and Hakyeon, along with a new blank document to write down the current interview.

“I actually haven’t prepared anything so please bear with me a bit… I guess I’ll start with your exhibition first. What do you have in mind when you choose the theme, and how is it different with your other exhibitions?” asked Taekwoon.

“Wait, you won’t even ask what the theme is?” asked Hongbin back. Taekwoon shrugged.

“You can answer that too while you’re at it,” said Taekwoon nonchalantly. Hongbin snorted hard.

“Okay. The theme this time is ‘Blossom’, which usually signifies the coming of spring and symbolizes rebirth after surviving the hardship of winter. But even in spring, not all flowers manage to bloom. Some simply wilt and die, while others bloom beautifully. The same goes with ‘love’; it’s either you manage to be happy after facing some hardships, or you’ll just wilt under the pressure and be left heartbroken,” explained Hongbin.

As Taekwoon noted it down, he felt really bitter inside. Knowing that it’s the theme Hongbin wanted to achieve, and what kind of photoshoot he had with him, Taekwoon felt really ironic. His own hardship with Wonshik ended up painfully, and yet the photoshoot he had clearly showed how he was the ‘happy’ part of it. He really wished that it’s how his relationship with Wonshik ended up, but apparently it’s not.

“So… Other than me, do you have someone else as your model for the heartbroken side of the theme?” asked Taekwoon.

“Obviously, yeah. But under the contract that we both signed, I’m not allowed to reveal this model’s identity until the exhibition,” replied Hongbin.

“Not even a hint?” asked Taekwoon again, trying to fish out as much information he could from him. Hongbin chuckled and shook his head.

“Sorry, no. But unlike you who isn’t a model at all, or Hakyeon who is just an occasional model, this person is a professional one. That’s all I can tell you,” said Hongbin. Taekwoon scowled deeper at that statement.

“First you gave me the ‘happy’ part of the theme, then you told me that my photos will be displayed along with the photos of a _professional_ model… You really are mean, Photographer Lee Hongbin,” grumbled Taekwoon.

“Well… Everyone can smile easily with a little push. I don’t need a professional if I need a smiling picture. But to show deep sadness, it’s a totally different case. For instance… can you show me a sad face that isn’t comical right now, Taekwoon- _ssi_?” said Hongbin. Taekwoon didn’t say anything, and his scowl only got deeper.

“See? You can’t. But for a smile, if I do this—” Hongbin fiddled a little with his phone and showed Taekwoon a funny video, which made Taekwoon smile although he obviously tried to suppress it, “You smile. That’s why I don’t need a pro for the ‘happy’ part,” explained Hongbin.

“Still… Why don’t you hire a pro for the ‘happy’ part? Won’t it be more balanced that way?” asked Taekwoon.

“Not really. I don’t want a fake smile, after all. It’s more difficult to filter out which one is real and which one is fake when it comes to professional models. You know it, right?” said Hongbin.

Again, Taekwoon felt bitter. He remembered how Wonshik smiled in his dramas, and how Wonshik smiled at him in their daily conversation. Sometimes the smile he saw on the screen looked very real, and sometimes it made Taekwoon wonder whether Wonshik ever gave him a fake smile that Taekwoon thought as real.

“So, you’re not okay with a fake smile, but you’re okay with fake sadness?” asked Taekwoon. Hongbin smirked, then he drank his green tea before leaning forward with a smile on his face.

“Taekwoon- _ssi_ … There is no fake sadness in front of my lens,” said Hongbin.

* * *

After smoothing out his interview with Hongbin and renewing his old article, Taekwoon mailed it to the Chief Editor for approval. By the time he got home, he got a reply along with some notes on which parts still looked awkward and some typos he made. He sighed as he opened his laptop, thinking that he’d just finish it right away and hopefully got everything accepted by the next day.

While Taekwoon was fixing his article, a mail from Hongbin came up. True to what he said earlier, Hongbin sent him some of his newer work. It was mostly Hakyeon, just like Taekwoon had expected, but he also noticed the young man who played as the main male character in Wonshik’s latest drama. It seemed that the young man asked Hongbin to shoot some photos he could use as a portfolio, since it looked normal and Taekwoon recognized the suit he wore from some articles he saw online.

Taekwoon kept on clicking to see more photos, but he froze when he found a photo that seemed to be taken secretly.

It was from the Dionysus photoshoot, when Wonshik was supposed to recreate the hand-holding scene. Taekwoon had refused to be the hand model, and he remembered Wonshik quickly and nonchalantly called for Hakyeon to replace Taekwoon. At that time, Taekwoon was so pissed he decided to get some refreshment before he started breaking things out of anger.

Apparently, when he left, he missed the moment when Wonshik turned away from Hakyeon to look at him. But apparently, Hongbin’s finger was quick enough to capture the moment, the split second when Wonshik wasn't acting as Dionysus or Ravi.

_“There is no fake sadness in front of my lens.”_

Hongbin’s words echoed in Taekwoon’s mind as he looked at the real Wonshik captured through Hongbin’s lens.


End file.
